irisgardens

I am back here today...I come back so often...I know that only you can restore me to sanity.

I have admitted that I am powerless over so many people (the addicts in my life) and things and activities...and I am still coming back.

Was overwhelmed today with the worry and fear about so many things, but know it was triggered by my fears about my daughter who is using heroin and the other kids who have turned their back on me...and I am alone...and broke...

I am working...thank you, God...I do have a place to live which I didn't...thank you God...and I just need to keep turning things over to you.

Everything...Thank you God...I know only you can restore me to sanity and I am not sane today...

irisgardens

As I revisit this step with my higher power (who I call God), it is a year later and there are new things on my plate.

I am grateful for the help in getting through the ones that were there last year...and I appreciate so much you have done higher power. Thank you for helping me to set some boundaries that were badly needly and I appreciate your helping me to keep them...although today was a temptation to reach out and just throw myself in the arms of those who will not support me.

I am slow by slow learning to turn things over_the deeper things...that time and work in recovery has uncovered...and I simply know that there is a power greater than myself who can handle these things that seem so overwhelming now...and that there is hope.

I just acknowledge that there is a higher power (who I call God) and I am praying and meditating for some clarity in terms of what can be done by me...and what is not mine to do...and the means and strength to do these things.

Made it to a phone alanon meeting yesterday and it was really really helpful. I will attend a naranon meeting today and in the fellowship continue to acknowledge that only a being greater than myself (who I call God) is able to tackle that which seems so overwhelming before me.

I am grateful to have a higher power (God) and am turning things over for guidance and direction.

irisgardens

Well, I am now going to a f2f naranon meeting....it is helping and it is really hard...and feeling emotions is very hard...have always zipped them up in my business career and working to provide...and I believe that only a higher power than myself can do anything in my life...I discovered the twelve steps through my HP leading me to people who suggested these steps...I took these steps and was healed mightily...and now as I am in new situations with another addict...my beloved daughter...and having come to a place where I know that the twelve steps provide support that I so desperately need as many of those who I believe would be supportive have not turned out to be able to do so...and I understand and am doing my best to follow my HP's guidance and direction. The steps probably seem small to others...but they are hard for me to do...things I have not had to do before...and I am just asking my HP for help...and letting myself notice that the smallest things (to those who are not facing the things so many here are) are the biggest blessings...a word of compassion, a doctor who writes a prescription even if the insurance has expired so that i can go to another source...a random call...the commitment of my husband to finish a job commitment in another country although it has meant subsistence living...and his reassurances that I haven't failed...it isn't all my fault...the purr and caress of my old kitty as he cuddles me. Paying the critical bills.

I KNOW that only my higher power can help me. Thank you God.