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Diary of a binge drinker

Old 09-01-2013, 02:04 PM
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Diary of a binge drinker

Hello all, I'm new to these fora; but I have seen a few of these types of threads in the forum and they seem like a good idea. Here's a bit about myself, I'm 19, Irish and I live in Dublin. I'm also an engineering student in Trinity College Dublin. I don't fit into the category of an alcoholic, but my drinking seems to be getting out of hand. When I first started university last year I had never drunk in my life, I was a teetotaller... But my flatmates and friends pressured me to conform and I was weak. I began to drink socially at least one night of the week. Predrinks would mean that I would leave our student accommodation just drunk enough to be merry and not to be refused entry. Of course you'd down an amount of a spirit and mixer just before you go in and it'd hit you in there.

Over the summer I didn't drink, I had no need to since I don't have a dependence on it for living. But since I've moved back up however, I have started partying with my friends and drinking once a week.

Last night I drank too much whiskey. 0.5L of whiskey and a glass three-quarters filled with vodka and one-quarter orange juice. My HTC Sensation XE was stolen, I fell on the pavement and chipped one-quarter of a tooth off, lost my friends, don't remember much at all after 1:30am, was brought to hospital and somehow made my way home partly by walking and the rest by taxi. My parents didn't know I'd ever drunk alcohol and they're very strict about that whole thing. They never went to university or college, so they weren't exposed to much beyond high school.

To be honest, I hate alcohol. I hate its taste and its effects with binge drinking. I feel that this year things have to change for good. I am not a drinker by nature. Although it seems drastic, I think that it's imperative that I give up drinking for good. Not just because of the usual post-hangover phrase "I'll never drink again!", but because it's either one extreme or the other.

So may as well start this Day one: highly hungover, livid parents, lack of a phone and a full tooth. Things can only look up from here. My friends drink way too much, but I'm going to differentiate myself from them. This girl I'm seeing is stopping socially binge drinking as well, so at least I have someone to depend on in times of temptation. Why do I even drink? The after effects are horrible and it's doing nothing but damage. A phone and tooth can be replaced, but liver damage is permanent.

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Old 09-01-2013, 02:11 PM
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My daughter gets to uni this year, she's tee total, I dread the thought of the brainwashed crowd trying to get her to drink. Pray that she remains cool and does not conform like the rest.

Welcome to these boards !
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Old 09-01-2013, 02:57 PM
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I'm glad you joined the family. It's good that you are stopping drinking at a young age. Fewer regrets when you're older that way.

Come here often to read and post. This is a great place!
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Old 09-01-2013, 03:02 PM
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Hi and welcome to SR.
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Old 09-01-2013, 03:17 PM
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Hi

Its good you are stopping so young - good luck! I went to Trinity over 20 years ago (engineering too!) and I wish I had not drank so much, I would have had such a better experience if I had not be focussing on the next party or trip to the pub to get drunk, not to mind dealing with consequences of drinking and the morning after misery and paranoia! I was already an alcoholic by the time I left.
20 years later, I have had extended periods of sobriety, but have drank on and off for the last 6 years. I am now committed to doing whatever it takes to stay stopped. I was a binge drinker and am on day 7 now and attending AA - that's how committed I am as I was always ambivalent about it. I must put my sobriety first, or my life will go down the tubes completely.
Why am I writing this? Because I believe if I had left alcohol behind me at that point in college, my life would have been so much better.

Good luck in your journey !
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Old 09-01-2013, 03:18 PM
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Welcome to SR! Sounds like you have a good plan going. You won't regret it and will save yourself a lot of trouble!!
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Old 09-02-2013, 02:33 AM
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Thanks for the support guys, you and this entire website seem so nice!

Originally Posted by closetored View Post
Hi

Its good you are stopping so young - good luck! I went to Trinity over 20 years ago (engineering too!) and I wish I had not drank so much, I would have had such a better experience if I had not be focussing on the next party or trip to the pub to get drunk, not to mind dealing with consequences of drinking and the morning after misery and paranoia! I was already an alcoholic by the time I left.
20 years later, I have had extended periods of sobriety, but have drank on and off for the last 6 years. I am now committed to doing whatever it takes to stay stopped. I was a binge drinker and am on day 7 now and attending AA - that's how committed I am as I was always ambivalent about it. I must put my sobriety first, or my life will go down the tubes completely.
Why am I writing this? Because I believe if I had left alcohol behind me at that point in college, my life would have been so much better.

Good luck in your journey !
I couldn't agree more, I think that it's important that we learn from our mistakes and to do what we came to university to do: learn.

Day two: Got my tooth fixed temporarily, and made an appointment in Newry for a crown (£250 versus €750 in the ROI!) in 8 days' time. My parents are still furious with me and don't want to even have any contact with me... I feel bad enough to have done what I did, not to mind have this added to the mess. Anyhow, all alcohol was thrown out and I'm going home for a good while until university starts again. Might take up a hobby like karate to do something different rather than going out or partying. Things are getting better
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Old 09-02-2013, 02:36 AM
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welcome to SR uigingeach

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Old 09-02-2013, 06:12 AM
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Hi, Uig, sorry to hear about your troubles, but at least you're realizing at a young age what changes you need to make.

I went to TCD too, starting drinking at 19, that was a long time ago. I'm sad to hear that there is still that peer pressure to drink. I was horribly shy, drank to fit in, made such a fool of myself so many times, didn't apply myself to my studies, could have done so much better, academically, and socially.

I hope you find a new social group, new hobbies, sounds like you're headed in the right direction.
I'm sure your folks will come around once they see that you're determined to make change.

Good luck, wish I had realized at 19 what you are now realizing. Your life will be so much better for it!
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Old 09-02-2013, 07:34 AM
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uigingeach welcome to SR and we are all here to assist each other on our journey of sobriety.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:02 AM
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Folks and especially you Sophiasunshine. I know I've talked about doing this taper down alone and for the most part that's been true but I did have a doctor to help me design the taper. PLEASE please please get some professional help with this. There is no tapering from alcohol that I know about. Just medical support. Love yourself enough to do this.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:09 AM
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Originally Posted by uigingeach View Post
Hello all, I'm new to these fora; but I have seen a few of these types of threads in the forum and they seem like a good idea. Here's a bit about myself, I'm 19, Irish and I live in Dublin. I'm also an engineering student in Trinity College Dublin. I don't fit into the category of an alcoholic, but my drinking seems to be getting out of hand. When I first started university last year I had never drunk in my life, I was a teetotaller... But my flatmates and friends pressured me to conform and I was weak. I began to drink socially at least one night of the week. Predrinks would mean that I would leave our student accommodation just drunk enough to be merry and not to be refused entry. Of course you'd down an amount of a spirit and mixer just before you go in and it'd hit you in there.

Over the summer I didn't drink, I had no need to since I don't have a dependence on it for living. But since I've moved back up however, I have started partying with my friends and drinking once a week.

Last night I drank too much whiskey. 0.5L of whiskey and a glass three-quarters filled with vodka and one-quarter orange juice. My HTC Sensation XE was stolen, I fell on the pavement and chipped one-quarter of a tooth off, lost my friends, don't remember much at all after 1:30am, was brought to hospital and somehow made my way home partly by walking and the rest by taxi. My parents didn't know I'd ever drunk alcohol and they're very strict about that whole thing. They never went to university or college, so they weren't exposed to much beyond high school.

To be honest, I hate alcohol. I hate its taste and its effects with binge drinking. I feel that this year things have to change for good. I am not a drinker by nature. Although it seems drastic, I think that it's imperative that I give up drinking for good. Not just because of the usual post-hangover phrase "I'll never drink again!", but because it's either one extreme or the other.

So may as well start this Day one: highly hungover, livid parents, lack of a phone and a full tooth. Things can only look up from here. My friends drink way too much, but I'm going to differentiate myself from them. This girl I'm seeing is stopping socially binge drinking as well, so at least I have someone to depend on in times of temptation. Why do I even drink? The after effects are horrible and it's doing nothing but damage. A phone and tooth can be replaced, but liver damage is permanent.

So is tooth damage and brain damage. From one who knows. Come here often. I've never seen such a supportive crew.
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Old 09-03-2013, 03:01 AM
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3 days going strong
Day 3: Absolutely bricking it going home, I want to ring St James' hospital to see if I had been admitted or not, and also the reason I was brought there; there's a possibility that something I was spiked due to the sudden lack of memory for 2 hours just after my last use of my phone according to 48 Go Conquer. Such a mess.
I'll update you all tonight on what happens, hopefully my parents won't be too harsh and will just give out to me. They said some pretty harsh stuff on the phone

I'm a disgrace, failure, on my road to alcoholism, going to end up dead in the canal someday, that I simply don't care about my degree, that I may as well do a **** arts course and spend my time drinking until I die of liver damage.
Idk, I just want to disappear and never return
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Old 09-03-2013, 04:31 PM
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Update: I'm still alive! Wasn't as bad as it could have been. Definitely not drinking again, if I do; to sum it up: don't you ******* ever drink again or I swear to God. We're not paying your fees and accommodation if you drink again. **** up and you're on your own.

Wasn't admitted and no record of me being in there. Must have just been brought there and walked out after the alcohol/spiking drug wore off. On looking at the effects of spiking drugs on the internet, I appear to have had most of the signs. In fact, almost every sign except for vomiting, which I'm not even 100% sure of.

I'm so relieved. I thought my dad would beat the crap out of me with his hands.
Shall update at the next milestone, thank you all for your support up to now!! It really is appreciated
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Old 09-03-2013, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by uigingeach View Post
Must have just been brought there and walked out after the alcohol/spiking drug wore off. On looking at the effects of spiking drugs on the internet, I appear to have had most of the signs. In fact, almost every sign except for vomiting, which I'm not even 100% sure of.
Hi Uigingeach, I am glad all worked out for you in the end. My concern is that the above quote sounds like you may be rationalizing your behavior... i.e. drink must have been spiked.

I do hope you think of this event as a wake-up call...

All my best, 4S
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Old 09-03-2013, 05:20 PM
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I'm glad that you're feeling better and working on your sobriety.
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Old 09-09-2013, 04:08 AM
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Day 9: Still sober and as focused as ever to remain free from alcohol. I feel a lot happier to have cut it out, I'm saving money and it's not a necessary thing to have in life. Especially when I should be studying as hard as I possibly can. The real challenge will come to remain free from alcohol during Freshers' week and subsequently when going out! I need to find an alternative
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Old 09-09-2013, 09:49 AM
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Uigingeach, A cautionary tale about finding an alternative. I went straight from alcohol to opiates. Thought I had found God or something. I loved that stuff. I was way, way wrong. I was strung out on opiates for six years before I'd finally had enough. I am on day 10, drug and alcohol free after a long, slow, painful taper. (to say it was HELL, HELL and more HELL, is the very least). My detox is still not over and I don't even know who I am without some chemical sloshing around in there. But I am so glad to be off that stuff. I'm free at last. Starting to look in the mirror and see who's there. I wish you the very best. Is it true you are very young? I got that impression. Don't be like me and waste your God-given life. Good luck. And be tough but compassionate with yourself. You deserve every good thing there is. And it's not alcohol and drugs.
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Old 10-16-2013, 02:45 PM
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Thought I'd update, still free from alcohol; barely have time to breathe with the amount of course work I have to keep up with. It's insane. Also got a job so I'm earning money now as a maths tutor. Thanks for the support and guidance in my time of need
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