DS777

Hi All

I have made it to two weeks, so pleased. I managed to get 35 days before I relapsed and I was on a big pink fluffy cloud that carried me through. This time there have been no clouds in sight, pink, fluffy or otherwise, its just been real gritty life, no Hollywood!

You know the life that we have spent however many years seeing through beer goggles! The life we all seemed to find so hard to handle without a drink in our hand? Well, its an eye opener. Now I have to deal with every situation sober and I can't lie I've been a nervous wreck a lot of the time. Worrying about my sober "personality", am I fun to be around, am I boring, am I interesting, am I nuts, who am I sober? :o) Its been exhausting.

I've been going to AA meetings every day and that has been helping enormously this time around and I've started to see a counsellor to try to get to the bottom of my drinking and all my emotions.

One thing I'm noticing is that I am on edge a lot, like i'm ready to bolt if I have to, that fight or flight thing I think. I find myself sitting somewhere and I am completely tense, my shoulder muscles are always aching at the moment, I find it very hard to relax, unwind, to just be, to just be imperfectly me.

I can't remember the last time I truly and genuinely felt at peace, relaxed and content. That makes me sad.

I'm so grateful to be sober today and I'm going to keep going as I'm told there are great things to come as sobriety gets longer, I long to feel better and find peace with myself.

Big hugs to all

D x

least

Congrats on two weeks sober!!

Dee74

congratulations DS

the good news is...this is early recovery.
It's not the way it's always going to be.

It really does get better

i know it's rough right now, but have faith...none of us would still be here if our first two week experience was as good as it got

I really hope you'll find the next 2 weeks a little easier - feel free to post a little more too, maybe join a Class of thread?

There really is great support here...
D

afloatsober

Well done.
You have a plan and your working it!
I found it tough just like you at first but it really does settle.
Imo, doing recovery beats just thinking recovery.
Great stuff!!!!
G

mecanix

DS777,
Great news , early recovery was exhausting , i hit a watershed at about 6 weeks , i think my physical body finally got used to the idea the habbit was potentially over .

Keep on with it ,

m

Happyfeet

Way to go!

hayley86

Congratulations on two weeks!.

ReadyAtLast

congrats on 2 weeks

it does get better.you won't feel on edge forever

Croissant

Congrats on 2 weeks....hang in there and good on you for giving it another good proper shot.


Thanks for sharing this Mecanix.