How to tell the kids their dad is in jail for 20 years...
Just for today....
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Venus
Posts: 118
How to tell the kids their dad is in jail for 20 years...
Hello,
I have been up all night worrying about this. On Wednesday my ex husband robbed a bank. He robbed the same bank last year, on the same day and this time he was caught. My kids are 6 and 9 and see their dad (supervised with grandma) every other weekend. He was arrainged on Friday and is looking at 10-20 years minimum for this charge, but also has 3 previous felony convictions stemming from his repeated drug/alcohol abuse.
This has made local news, and newspapers. I do not want the kids to find out another way, through a neighbor or friend or someone at school. I want to be honest with them, but I don't want to tell them too much. I am heartbroken and devastated for my poor children. They love their dad very much. I am absolutely dreading having this conversation with them, but I know it needs to happen.
Anyone have any experience with this? I am so torn and upset. Damn addiction. It's just not fair.
I have been up all night worrying about this. On Wednesday my ex husband robbed a bank. He robbed the same bank last year, on the same day and this time he was caught. My kids are 6 and 9 and see their dad (supervised with grandma) every other weekend. He was arrainged on Friday and is looking at 10-20 years minimum for this charge, but also has 3 previous felony convictions stemming from his repeated drug/alcohol abuse.
This has made local news, and newspapers. I do not want the kids to find out another way, through a neighbor or friend or someone at school. I want to be honest with them, but I don't want to tell them too much. I am heartbroken and devastated for my poor children. They love their dad very much. I am absolutely dreading having this conversation with them, but I know it needs to happen.
Anyone have any experience with this? I am so torn and upset. Damn addiction. It's just not fair.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I don't have any experience with this Froglegs, but I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
It may unfold differently than you think, but however it happens I think it is good to talk about it to your children and make them feel okay to share their feelings and questions with you. Open dialogue now can save years of therapy later if fears and feelings are stuffed.
You sound like a wonderful mom.
Hugs
It may unfold differently than you think, but however it happens I think it is good to talk about it to your children and make them feel okay to share their feelings and questions with you. Open dialogue now can save years of therapy later if fears and feelings are stuffed.
You sound like a wonderful mom.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I'm so sorry that you and your children are dealing with this difficulty. You're right....addiction isn't fair.
The old adage "honesty is the best policy" would apply here in an age appropriate way I would think. Since it just happened, it may take a while for the trial and sentencing (unless he pleads guilty I guess).....and I think the uncertainty of waiting for the sentencing would be difficult for them.
You'll find the right thing to say......you love them. Your family will be in my prayers.
gentle hugs
ke
The old adage "honesty is the best policy" would apply here in an age appropriate way I would think. Since it just happened, it may take a while for the trial and sentencing (unless he pleads guilty I guess).....and I think the uncertainty of waiting for the sentencing would be difficult for them.
You'll find the right thing to say......you love them. Your family will be in my prayers.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 1,344
I am sorry this has happened and I do understand it is difficult tell the kids about this.
I think Ann has a good point you need to be open towards the kids regarding this so they feel safe bringing it up, especially if it is known in the comunity and they could be confronted with the story.
Take care.
You guys will be in my prayers.
I think Ann has a good point you need to be open towards the kids regarding this so they feel safe bringing it up, especially if it is known in the comunity and they could be confronted with the story.
Take care.
You guys will be in my prayers.
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