RJY9

As I said i'm on day 17 and today is Friday and the thought of not having a Beer again has made me actually burst into tears. If you read my post from earlier today you will see a person who is extremely happy with the life he has but 12 hours later and I still cannot accept or see my entire life without having a relaxing drinks with friends again. I'm scared out my mind today and been fighting this feeling off until now. I don't know how i'm gonna cope never drinking again! What a fu*kin nightmare!! I feel like just giving in and just simply easing my pain. I wasn't put on this earth to feel boring and dull forever surely!!??

foolsgold66

Are there other ways to not feel boring and dull without drinking? (rhetorical) Is there anything else fun you want to try? Maybe try to get your mind turned that direction. Just a thought...

doggonecarl

Early recovery is a roller coaster of emotions. You are experiencing the low point right now. Your addiction is in control and making your decision to quit seem crazy. It's not.

You say you can't see yourself going your entire life without having relaxing drinks with your friends. Is that an apt description of your relationship with alcohol? Probably not. Think about this...think about drinking and never being able to get back on the recovery train. Then your entire life will be in slavery to alcohol. Do you want that?

You are past the worst of withdrawals. Hang in there. You emotions are going to swing the other way and you'll be glad you didn't drink.

whiskeyman

Up and Down, up and down.
that nasty rollercoaster.

Do something today out of character. Go jogging, fishing, do a puzzle.
Something different to get your mind active.
Good for you for typing in your thoughts. keep doing that.

Anna

If you're feeling boring and dull, get out and do something. What do you enjoy? Sports, exercise classes, continuing education courses, hobbies - there are so many things to do and I think it's just a question of changing your perspective. You CAN relax without drinking and have fun with friends without drinking.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

Oldselfagain

RJY9 I just had a look at your previous posts and I think you should too....they tell how much happier and better you feel giving up booze. Just focus on not drinking today and this temptation will pass. I feel your pain living in London where there is such a strong drinking culture and especially on Friday when the sun is shining. Resist the temptation and you will feel 200% better when you wake up tomorrow morning!!! Stay strong

RJY9

Been fishing all day and I couldn't think of anything else except drinking. The Lake is where I cried funny enough.

Olive1

If you keep telling yourself you can never, ever drink again, you will be setting yourself up for failure. Tell yourself you will not drink today. You will feel better tomorrow.

In the beginning, I told myself that I would let myself drink again, 'someday in the future'. I have eight years of sobriety now and I don't think much about drinking again anymore. I keep pushing the 'someday in the future' farther and farther away.

AdanteFornax

London ? Plenty of AA meetings to get yourself out of yourself

mecanix

Hey RJY9 ,
sure was a roller coaster ride in the early days for me , getting to the month and then hitting 6 weeks seemed to be a watershed for me ... after that it got a lot better .

I knew i was an alcoholic and i knew i had to stop , if i picked up a drink again i reconed it would only bring me more pain , i'd have to endure the whole 17 days over again to get to where i was , go through the up's and downs again .. so it didn't seem worth it and it still dosn't .

Stay strong , do everything to you can to kill it and keep it dead .

Bestwishes, m

Vicki31

Hi RJ,

I'm on day 18 today, I also have had a tough day, the drink has been on my mind almost since I got up. I just tried to focus on all the positives since I stopped chucking that stuff down my neck.

I also can't yet see how my life is going to pan out without the alcohol - I suppose that's why it's suggested to just think about one day at a time, just today I won't drink, tonight I will get into bed sober, wake up fresh and that fresh person who wakes in the morning can deal with tomorrow, not the me here and now, all I have to think about is this day, this evening - that's all, nothing else.

Stay strong, this is going to get easier as time goes on.

mecanix

just something else i thought of ....

I used to also use delaying tactics on myself ..

saying i would decidedly not drink today and tell myself that i could make a decision in 3 or 4 days time to make sure it wasn't just a stinky mood effecting my decision , quite often by the time a day or two had past i'd completely forgot the craving and was back to enjoying being sober ...

m

DecBaby

I agree you need to stop focusing on forever. Just not tonight. You'll be very proud of yourself in the morning.

elderine

Hi RJ. I just wanted to say hang in there! I'm on day 19 today and it's been really hard for me too. Sunny, Friday, holiday weekend (in the US at least). My drinking friends have been posting about their great happy hour times today. In short, lots of temptation and frustration. I'm trying to just keep delaying drinking, really focusing on keeping myself distracted for just another hour. So far I haven't had too many really difficult days, but this is one of them! Maybe we'll just have to ride it out. I'm sure we'll be glad tomorrow that we didn't drink today.

afloatsober

just don't drink for today.
Boring and glum described me drunk and sat alone in pubs when i trusted myself to go out drinking.
I got a lot more boring and a lot more glum when this dis-ease got me where it really wanted me.
Sat alone, curtains drawn, sad songs on the player and surrounded with empties and a bucket to spew in..
THEN boy was i B & G......!!!

Livin' on the edge for us is livin' sober.

Be safe

G

Dee74

Change is scary for most of us, thats why a lot of us needed to approach this one day at a time....24 hours seems a lot more manageable than forever.

I doubt you're boring and dull - but even if you were right now? this is early recovery - it's rough, for everyone, but this is not the way it's gonna be forever...no one would stay sober if that was the case

you have 17 days - thats great - but it's very early on the journey - stay patient and keep the faith...things will work out RJY

Hope you feel better tomorrow
D

Nuudawn

Aw sweetie..as others have said...don't be freaking your mind out with "forever" right now. As I have said many times before on these boards... sometimes telling myself "just for today" seems to large a commitment first thing in the morning : ) I have chosen to not drink right "now". In order for me to heal my mind, my life..and learn new coping mechnisms and the ever increasing knowledge that life is better and fuller not drinking...I just focus on right NOW. I had to beat a craving last week... a craving for "one glass of wine". I wanted that ONE glass of wine (har de har har) really badly and fortunately I was able to summon a few helpful things. One ..there is no guarantee of one...and two, even if I chose to drink again in this lifetime, I haven't learned sweet 'eff" all about anything after only a few short months of sobriety. I STILL don't know how to cope with life. I STILL haven't developed emotional muscle or new hobbies and interests (they're coming around slowly). I haven't even scratched the surface of what sobriety has to offer. I'm an INFANT in this world sometimes.....

Get out of forever and right back into your NOW. You cannot do a damn thing about tomorrow or yesterday for that matter. You only have now in your control. Exert that control...now.

Grungehead

Go back and read your post from August 14th. That's the reality of your drinking, not having a relaxing drink with friends. Whenever you are having a craving I would suggest going back and reading one of your posts after coming back from a drinking spree. It's a helpful reminder why we are all here in the first place. We didn't end up posting on SR because life was so damn good we felt like sharing it with a bunch of people on a recovery website. Us alcoholics seem to have built in forgetters...we tend to remember the occasional good times and forget the more numerous bad times.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-promised.html

deeker

Life is far from Boring and Glum Sober.

It is awesome. It is pure freedom.
It is enjoyable, it is memorable, it is not regrettable, it is not forgettable!


That feeling you have will not always be there. You are still new in sobriety.

You still have not truly discovered who you are without alcohol. And you never will if you drink again. Give it some time. These feelings will pass. Don't give in to them. Don't forget why you quit in the 1st place. I am sure it was not as enjoyable as you think. And it was never just a couple drinks to unwind. It was drinking to get obliterated!

Don't believe the lies that your addiction is trying to tell you right now!

AlefVavResh

Sometimes I find a good cry cleansing. Hang in there!