working step one.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 198
working step one.
I am working through this on my own with the help of my temp sponsor (I don't know how great she will be in regards to the steps hense why I know she is only a temp), she is more for if I need support for cravings and support.
Anyway I have admitted and I know deep in my heart I am hopeless when it comes to alcohol. I now am working through why I drink, my triggers, why I first drank and that my lifestyle is hopeless when it comes to alcohol.
I also have to work through how I can change things to manage my environment so it isn't hopeless to alcohol.
Is there more to step 1 then all this?
(I am the type of student that does as much of the work at the start of the school year as possible and then works on improving what is there until it is an A+) If I wait and take things slow, I will not be able to succeed and I will get complacent. I know this about my personality.
Anyway I have admitted and I know deep in my heart I am hopeless when it comes to alcohol. I now am working through why I drink, my triggers, why I first drank and that my lifestyle is hopeless when it comes to alcohol.
I also have to work through how I can change things to manage my environment so it isn't hopeless to alcohol.
Is there more to step 1 then all this?
(I am the type of student that does as much of the work at the start of the school year as possible and then works on improving what is there until it is an A+) If I wait and take things slow, I will not be able to succeed and I will get complacent. I know this about my personality.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
there is a little more
being powerless over alcohol means I will drink again,sometime,someday.It may be today,tomorrow,next year or 10 years down the road.If I go back to drinking,I may not live to sober up.I have a physical problem when it comes to alcohol.A strange physical craving develops whenever I take alcohol,in any form in my body,it sets off that craving.
There is also a mental problem.I cannot manage the thoughts in my head that precedes the first drink.I seem to manage regular thoughts ok,but when it comes to drinking,we always lose out.We cannot manage it well to stay sober the rest of our lifes.Sooner or later we lose
so physically,I am in a mess when it comes to drinking.Mentally,I am also in a mess,because the time comes when I will drink,left to my own devices.
Any mental defense I put up is hopeless.
So,at certain times,(when ever those times appear)I am totally powerless over alcohol
soberiety is a inside job,the changes must come from within our thinking.Exterior things can`t sober us up
being powerless over alcohol means I will drink again,sometime,someday.It may be today,tomorrow,next year or 10 years down the road.If I go back to drinking,I may not live to sober up.I have a physical problem when it comes to alcohol.A strange physical craving develops whenever I take alcohol,in any form in my body,it sets off that craving.
There is also a mental problem.I cannot manage the thoughts in my head that precedes the first drink.I seem to manage regular thoughts ok,but when it comes to drinking,we always lose out.We cannot manage it well to stay sober the rest of our lifes.Sooner or later we lose
so physically,I am in a mess when it comes to drinking.Mentally,I am also in a mess,because the time comes when I will drink,left to my own devices.
Any mental defense I put up is hopeless.
So,at certain times,(when ever those times appear)I am totally powerless over alcohol
soberiety is a inside job,the changes must come from within our thinking.Exterior things can`t sober us up
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: northern virginia
Posts: 535
hey fishy...
i work step 1 every single day, and, as my sponsor reminds me, it's the only step we work perfectly.
for me, all it takes is a simple acknowledgement every morning that i know for sure i am completely powerless against alcohol, and that my life while drinking was beyond unmanageable. (some days i add a few old memories from my drinking days to illustrate just how true this is.)
the hows and whys of my disease are getting worked out in later steps. for me at least, keeping step 1 extremely simple is what works. it's a monster of a step, and with a simple approach i hope to continue to work and live in this step everyday for the rest of my life...
i work step 1 every single day, and, as my sponsor reminds me, it's the only step we work perfectly.
for me, all it takes is a simple acknowledgement every morning that i know for sure i am completely powerless against alcohol, and that my life while drinking was beyond unmanageable. (some days i add a few old memories from my drinking days to illustrate just how true this is.)
the hows and whys of my disease are getting worked out in later steps. for me at least, keeping step 1 extremely simple is what works. it's a monster of a step, and with a simple approach i hope to continue to work and live in this step everyday for the rest of my life...
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
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Originally Posted by Tommyh 
there is a little more
being powerless over alcohol means I will drink again,sometime,someday.It may be today,tomorrow,next year or 10 years down the road.If I go back to drinking,I may not live to sober up.I have a physical problem when it comes to alcohol.A strange physical craving develops whenever I take alcohol,in any form in my body,it sets off that craving.
There is also a mental problem.I cannot manage the thoughts in my head that precedes the first drink.I seem to manage regular thoughts ok,but when it comes to drinking,we always lose out.We cannot manage it well to stay sober the rest of our lifes.Sooner or later we lose
so physically,I am in a mess when it comes to drinking.Mentally,I am also in a mess,because the time comes when I will drink,left to my own devices.
Any mental defense I put up is hopeless.
So,at certain times,(when ever those times appear)I am totally powerless over alcohol
soberiety is a inside job,the changes must come from within our thinking.Exterior things can`t sober us up
being powerless over alcohol means I will drink again,sometime,someday.It may be today,tomorrow,next year or 10 years down the road.If I go back to drinking,I may not live to sober up.I have a physical problem when it comes to alcohol.A strange physical craving develops whenever I take alcohol,in any form in my body,it sets off that craving.
There is also a mental problem.I cannot manage the thoughts in my head that precedes the first drink.I seem to manage regular thoughts ok,but when it comes to drinking,we always lose out.We cannot manage it well to stay sober the rest of our lifes.Sooner or later we lose
so physically,I am in a mess when it comes to drinking.Mentally,I am also in a mess,because the time comes when I will drink,left to my own devices.
Any mental defense I put up is hopeless.
So,at certain times,(when ever those times appear)I am totally powerless over alcohol
soberiety is a inside job,the changes must come from within our thinking.Exterior things can`t sober us up
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 198
I have a question about the one day at a time thing.
I am more of a goal orientated person, look where you want to be and work back and into finer detail to make sure that dream is feasible and workable. Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
I also heard a man at AA say today that he doesn't know if he will drink tomorrow because he was sober today. Doesn't that mean that you need to have some sort of short term goal after the 24 hour period or otherwise people would be all "well 24 hours is up, I didn't drink today." ect. I am guessing these are the people who fail.
Is it Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
Or is AA more like if we just put away $1 a day we will be saving money but not with the sole purpose of the purchase at the end.
I am way too analytical.
I am more of a goal orientated person, look where you want to be and work back and into finer detail to make sure that dream is feasible and workable. Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
I also heard a man at AA say today that he doesn't know if he will drink tomorrow because he was sober today. Doesn't that mean that you need to have some sort of short term goal after the 24 hour period or otherwise people would be all "well 24 hours is up, I didn't drink today." ect. I am guessing these are the people who fail.
Is it Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
Or is AA more like if we just put away $1 a day we will be saving money but not with the sole purpose of the purchase at the end.
I am way too analytical.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by Fishy
I have a question about the one day at a time thing.
I am more of a goal orientated person, look where you want to be and work back and into finer detail to make sure that dream is feasible and workable. Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
I also heard a man at AA say today that he doesn't know if he will drink tomorrow because he was sober today. Doesn't that mean that you need to have some sort of short term goal after the 24 hour period or otherwise people would be all "well 24 hours is up, I didn't drink today." ect. I am guessing these are the people who fail.
Is it Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
Or is AA more like if we just put away $1 a day we will be saving money but not with the sole purpose of the purchase at the end.
I am way too analytical.
I am more of a goal orientated person, look where you want to be and work back and into finer detail to make sure that dream is feasible and workable. Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
I also heard a man at AA say today that he doesn't know if he will drink tomorrow because he was sober today. Doesn't that mean that you need to have some sort of short term goal after the 24 hour period or otherwise people would be all "well 24 hours is up, I didn't drink today." ect. I am guessing these are the people who fail.
Is it Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
Or is AA more like if we just put away $1 a day we will be saving money but not with the sole purpose of the purchase at the end.
I am way too analytical.
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 198
Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
You are onto something Fishy. There are slogans galore in AA and you can be up to your ass in aphorisms. I suggest, however, you pay close attention to Tommy's post and get someone to walk you through the Steps. IMO, alky's who use will power and self-knowledge to try and stay sober are doomed.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
Originally Posted by Fishy
I have a question about the one day at a time thing.
I am more of a goal orientated person, look where you want to be and work back and into finer detail to make sure that dream is feasible and workable. Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
I also heard a man at AA say today that he doesn't know if he will drink tomorrow because he was sober today. Doesn't that mean that you need to have some sort of short term goal after the 24 hour period or otherwise people would be all "well 24 hours is up, I didn't drink today." ect. I am guessing these are the people who fail.
Is it Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
Or is AA more like if we just put away $1 a day we will be saving money but not with the sole purpose of the purchase at the end.
I am way too analytical.
I am more of a goal orientated person, look where you want to be and work back and into finer detail to make sure that dream is feasible and workable. Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
I also heard a man at AA say today that he doesn't know if he will drink tomorrow because he was sober today. Doesn't that mean that you need to have some sort of short term goal after the 24 hour period or otherwise people would be all "well 24 hours is up, I didn't drink today." ect. I am guessing these are the people who fail.
Is it Like saving up for a layby. I will put away $1 every day and eventually I will have that expensive item.
Or is AA more like if we just put away $1 a day we will be saving money but not with the sole purpose of the purchase at the end.
I am way too analytical.
I personally feel comfortable saying I am recovered and free from alcohol for good. With that comes an understanding of Who is responsible for my sobriety and what I need to do on a daily basis to stay connected to Him.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I didn't do "one day at a time" or count days. That was counter productive for me, because it kept me chained to my alcoholism. Always just adding another link back.
so instead I call myself a non drinker, and I am working on recovery, on my life, no longer about my relationship to alcohol. That's over. Now I am learning to live life on life's terms. That is what recovery is about.
Our compulsion is lifted and we move forward into a purposeful life. Once we get sober, we really never have to worry about alcohol again. I mean that IS what it says in the Big Book, that booze becomes a non issue to us.
We keep our sobriety by passing along the message of hope and recovery...not by obsessing and worrying over possibly drinking again. We keep our sobriety by developing and nurturing a relationship with a HP.
so instead I call myself a non drinker, and I am working on recovery, on my life, no longer about my relationship to alcohol. That's over. Now I am learning to live life on life's terms. That is what recovery is about.
Our compulsion is lifted and we move forward into a purposeful life. Once we get sober, we really never have to worry about alcohol again. I mean that IS what it says in the Big Book, that booze becomes a non issue to us.
We keep our sobriety by passing along the message of hope and recovery...not by obsessing and worrying over possibly drinking again. We keep our sobriety by developing and nurturing a relationship with a HP.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
when I first came to AA , a old guy and myself was talking.i asked him how long he had been sober,he said 29 years.
I thought,I can never quit drinking that long.
I knew it was impossible for me to do.i couldn`t quit for 3 years either.
Finally the old guy asked me if I could stay sober the rest of the day.Of course I could,that was doable.29 years wasn`t doable for me in my mind.
When I realized I need to take it a day at a time,it lifted a big burden off my shoulders.
as far as planning things,I was told to plan all I want in the future,just don`t plan the outcome.
The old folks have sometimes said,if we fail to plan,we plan to fail.
Planning is good,and we should do it.but we can`t make the outcomes come out as excally as we wish every time.When it came to drinking,it was a day at a time realm I tried to keep my mind in
I thought,I can never quit drinking that long.
I knew it was impossible for me to do.i couldn`t quit for 3 years either.
Finally the old guy asked me if I could stay sober the rest of the day.Of course I could,that was doable.29 years wasn`t doable for me in my mind.
When I realized I need to take it a day at a time,it lifted a big burden off my shoulders.
as far as planning things,I was told to plan all I want in the future,just don`t plan the outcome.
The old folks have sometimes said,if we fail to plan,we plan to fail.
Planning is good,and we should do it.but we can`t make the outcomes come out as excally as we wish every time.When it came to drinking,it was a day at a time realm I tried to keep my mind in
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
IDK... If I thought of it as a lay away, I might be thinking I have some kinda reward due to me. So no, I don't approach it that way at all. There is a reward, but that is from a life well lived and I guess that is a work in progress... 
One day at a time means soooooo much more than not drinking a day at a time. In fact a lot of days, I don't think about drinking or not drinking, it's just not part of the plan. Plans change, some are realized some are not... One day at a time is, for me, a way not to live in fear.
One day at a time means soooooo much more than not drinking a day at a time. In fact a lot of days, I don't think about drinking or not drinking, it's just not part of the plan. Plans change, some are realized some are not... One day at a time is, for me, a way not to live in fear.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by bbthumper
Many people are comfortable with this "one day at a time" approach to sobriety. Its about whatever works. Its not a rule. In fact the only time the Big Book uses the phrase it refers to living life one day at a time.
I personally feel comfortable saying I am recovered and free from alcohol for good. With that comes an understanding of Who is responsible for my sobriety and what I need to do on a daily basis to stay connected to Him.
I personally feel comfortable saying I am recovered and free from alcohol for good. With that comes an understanding of Who is responsible for my sobriety and what I need to do on a daily basis to stay connected to Him.
I am with you on the recovered mind set, so much so that I view myself as in a state of permanent recovery. I can say this with utter confidence because I know if I stay in 'fit spiritual condition" HP will ensure that for this day I will clearly see the truth in the matter of drink (Step 2 fulfilled). I stay in fit spiritual condition by working Steps 10, 11 & 12 on a daily basis and trusting in HP to do the rest.
I used to do the 'One day at a time" thing but my keen alcoholic mind started to tell me if I just did that, there would be no problem. The cunning and baffling part of that thought process ultimately led me to think "I'm doing do it."
Followed by "Aren't I managing well." Eventually that got me drunk after 4 years sober. The truth in the matter of drink for me is that I can't keep me sober "One day at a time." I can't even keep me sober one hour at a time. Permanent recovery for me is "Don't drink today and work my maintenance steps." Working maintenance steps enables me to not drink today by keeping me in conscious contact with the Power that will keep me sober, just for today. In fact, working the maintenance steps removes the urges to drink today and I have freedom from alcohol to live life to the fullest.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,747
Originally Posted by Tommyh
there is a little more
being powerless over alcohol means I will drink again,sometime,someday.It may be today,tomorrow,next year or 10 years down the road.If I go back to drinking,I may not live to sober up.I have a physical problem when it comes to alcohol.A strange physical craving develops whenever I take alcohol,in any form in my body,it sets off that craving.
There is also a mental problem.I cannot manage the thoughts in my head that precedes the first drink.I seem to manage regular thoughts ok,but when it comes to drinking,we always lose out.We cannot manage it well to stay sober the rest of our lifes.Sooner or later we lose
so physically,I am in a mess when it comes to drinking.Mentally,I am also in a mess,because the time comes when I will drink,left to my own devices.
Any mental defense I put up is hopeless.
So,at certain times,(when ever those times appear)I am totally powerless over alcohol
soberiety is a inside job,the changes must come from within our thinking.Exterior things can`t sober us up
being powerless over alcohol means I will drink again,sometime,someday.It may be today,tomorrow,next year or 10 years down the road.If I go back to drinking,I may not live to sober up.I have a physical problem when it comes to alcohol.A strange physical craving develops whenever I take alcohol,in any form in my body,it sets off that craving.
There is also a mental problem.I cannot manage the thoughts in my head that precedes the first drink.I seem to manage regular thoughts ok,but when it comes to drinking,we always lose out.We cannot manage it well to stay sober the rest of our lifes.Sooner or later we lose
so physically,I am in a mess when it comes to drinking.Mentally,I am also in a mess,because the time comes when I will drink,left to my own devices.
Any mental defense I put up is hopeless.
So,at certain times,(when ever those times appear)I am totally powerless over alcohol
soberiety is a inside job,the changes must come from within our thinking.Exterior things can`t sober us up
Post five weeks de-tox in 1994 and several months AA and sobriety I decided I would become a moderate drinker. While I was a good deal better than pre 94, my decision was grossly flawed.
What I did become was a largely miserable person trying to sedate myself in a moderate manner which required continuous checks and balances, along with the timing of my drinks.The AA Big Book speaks of a man who after 25 years sobriety goes on a destructive binge.
There is no light,slight, moderate, slightly heavy,sane, normal, acceptable drinking for me, now, tomorrow, next week, or indeed for the rest of my life.
Fortunately now, back with AA I do not see this as in any way traumatizing.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
I'm a pretty simple-minded kind of guy in case any of you haven't noticed. 
For me step one simply boiled down to the fact that deep down in my core (where my HP now resides) I am powerless both before and after the first drink, therefore my life is unmanageable. Luckily I came to believe in a power greater than myself that has restored me to sanity once I worked the rest of the steps. He is now the power that manages my life for me.
For me staying sober one day at a time was always a lot of work, it's how I used to stay sober. My "program" was not drinking and going to meetings, but after a a period of time (years in my case) I would eventually drink again. I knew that this time I had to put in the footwork or I would repeat the past once again. I found a sponsor quickly and we did not delay in working the steps. Once I got through Step 5 I felt as if the the obsession to drink had been removed. That feeling turned into reality for me by the time I started working the 10th step on a daily basis. I have recovered from my alcohol problem and no longer have to focus my effort on not drinking, as long as I live my life within Steps 10-12 one day at a time.
For me step one simply boiled down to the fact that deep down in my core (where my HP now resides) I am powerless both before and after the first drink, therefore my life is unmanageable. Luckily I came to believe in a power greater than myself that has restored me to sanity once I worked the rest of the steps. He is now the power that manages my life for me.
For me staying sober one day at a time was always a lot of work, it's how I used to stay sober. My "program" was not drinking and going to meetings, but after a a period of time (years in my case) I would eventually drink again. I knew that this time I had to put in the footwork or I would repeat the past once again. I found a sponsor quickly and we did not delay in working the steps. Once I got through Step 5 I felt as if the the obsession to drink had been removed. That feeling turned into reality for me by the time I started working the 10th step on a daily basis. I have recovered from my alcohol problem and no longer have to focus my effort on not drinking, as long as I live my life within Steps 10-12 one day at a time.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Fishy
took the first person who wanted to sponser me until I find a sponser better suited. Any sponser is better then no sponser.
Good for you. Don't worry too much about the quality of your sponsor for now. The quality of your willingness is far more important at this point.Even the worlds worst sponsor can help you find the power you need if you provide the worlds best willingness."Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. Though self-will may slam it shut again, as it frequently does, it will always respond the moment we again pick up the key of willingness."
(12&12 page 35)
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Huntington Woods, Michigan
Posts: 465
The book asks me if I want to stay sober for good and all and if I will submit to anything in order to obtain that. I used to say I wasn't going to drink just for today. Today I don't even say that. I plan to stay sober the rest of my life. In order to do that, I work the program to the best of my ability every day. When I said I was going to stay sober just for today, I invariably got drunk. Since my adoption of the suggestions in the big book, I haven't had to be concerned with my drinking problem. I just do the spiritual work and sobriety seems to be the result.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by mick3580
... When I said I was going to stay sober just for today, I invariably got drunk. Since my adoption of the suggestions in the big book, I haven't had to be concerned with my drinking problem. I just do the spiritual work and sobriety seems to be the result.
(Laozi)
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
Powerless over alcohol means that once I take a drink, I'm powerless to stop the craving for more, which is physical side, and powerless to stop that "thing" that changes my personality and then that "other person" in me will over power logic and reason, so eventually I'll drink to blackout.....and probably even more which is the mental side.
Therefore if I am honest and cease denying these facts about my drinking, then what worked for me is a "surrender" to the drinking game.
It's like saying to my whole being, my spirit or my thought process that drinking alcohol no longer has to be ever considered ever again each day I am alive, daily.
Will the thought cross my thoughts? Yes, I can say it has and has been overwhelming at times early in sobriety. But this Power greater then me is where I turn my thoughts to. It became clearer over time that my alcoholism, my mind can be in 2 places at once. It can be in the now, right here while I am typing, and it can be imagining things and this is where I need to be "god conscious" with some spirit that is life universal.
How does one get to that?
Practice of the steps, step 4,5,6,7,8,9 clears the block, and by step 10 sanity is restored, meaning, the insane thought of a drink does no longer affect me.
Why is thinking of a drink insane? because my head will try to tell me that I may be able to handle a few and NOT crave as much as I used to!!
That's insane thinking. The insane action is to take a drink.
If you are a real alcoholic,( craves more alcohol and gets insanely drunk), then it's an act of insanity to succumb to that thought.
It's far easier to surrender and admit powerless over alcohol than trying to control it. I tried for 35 years, it didn't work for me so why bother now.
I lost EVERYTHING multiple times by the time I surrendered to alcohol, but life goes on, without alcohol.
Therefore if I am honest and cease denying these facts about my drinking, then what worked for me is a "surrender" to the drinking game.
It's like saying to my whole being, my spirit or my thought process that drinking alcohol no longer has to be ever considered ever again each day I am alive, daily.
Will the thought cross my thoughts? Yes, I can say it has and has been overwhelming at times early in sobriety. But this Power greater then me is where I turn my thoughts to. It became clearer over time that my alcoholism, my mind can be in 2 places at once. It can be in the now, right here while I am typing, and it can be imagining things and this is where I need to be "god conscious" with some spirit that is life universal.
How does one get to that?
Practice of the steps, step 4,5,6,7,8,9 clears the block, and by step 10 sanity is restored, meaning, the insane thought of a drink does no longer affect me.
Why is thinking of a drink insane? because my head will try to tell me that I may be able to handle a few and NOT crave as much as I used to!!
That's insane thinking. The insane action is to take a drink.
If you are a real alcoholic,( craves more alcohol and gets insanely drunk), then it's an act of insanity to succumb to that thought.
It's far easier to surrender and admit powerless over alcohol than trying to control it. I tried for 35 years, it didn't work for me so why bother now.
I lost EVERYTHING multiple times by the time I surrendered to alcohol, but life goes on, without alcohol.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Hi Fishy, I understand your question. My answer is to keep moving the goal. In the beginning, 24 hours was the goal. Then a week, then a half month, then a month, then a half year, then a year, then a year and a half. I am analytical too. haha I'm past 3 years and 5 months. So my goal now is 3 and a half years. I'm into half-years now. This is how I think. Of course I cannot drink today. That is the bottomline. But I like to have the goal too. And keep bumping it forward. Does that help? haha Best to you in sobriety Fishy.
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