I cant stop
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Does it matter if you're not an alcoholic? Maybe you could just 'fake it til you make it'. When I had doubts like that I tried treating it as an experiment to see what would happen if I stayed sober. You don't have to be absolutely certain before you quit x
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
First off anything is possible. If you want it enough. Secondly you don't need to fight this alone. Take a deep breath and try and make a plan.
Speak to your husband, doctor a friend anyone who you think might help
Speak to your husband, doctor a friend anyone who you think might help
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
I came close to losing my family too. Three boys who looked at me like I was crazy, disgusting or pathetic, one, all three or any combination thereof. My husband, on the final night of my drinking career, dropped me at an emergency room and told me not to come home...no one wanted me there. We had been married for 24 years.
Not one person, especially not I, expected a recovery from this. Too many blackouts, humiliating dramas, screaming fights, vomiting, binges, hangovers, lies, money wasted. Just too much history, and most of it, especially in the last years, truly awful. Just miserable.
It's quite amazing what sobriety helps accomplish. For me, once I got sober, everything sort of fell back into place. Did I have A LOT of amends to make, time to make up for, trust to restore, etc...Damned right I did. But being sober made these once seemingly impossible hurdles if not easy, then at least, with much hard work and humility, possible.
Fast forward to today, four years and six months later. Our marriage is better than its ever, EVER been. When my boys look at me, I see love and pride in their eyes (if I saved forever and sold everything I had and won the lottery, I still would not have enough money to buy those amazing looks from them. I had to earn them, and they are priceless). My family doesn't have that scared, watchful air about them, as if waiting for Mom to screw up and humiliate them yet again. My sister calls me just to chat, about nothing in particular, and I love that. When I say I'll be somewhere, I show up. When I'm asked to bring something, I do. I'm dependable, which shocks me still, four years and six months later.
So, Mrs. Javamama, put aside your fear, it accomplishes nothing. Likewise guilt, worry, humiliation, shame...Spilt milk. There is a wealth of information right here on Sober Recovery. Go to an AA meeting. Educate yourself on Recovery. You should go to your Doctor and come clean about your drinking, find out what to expect during withdrawal. Devise a plan, then stop drinking. You can do it, just like so many of us did. I'm really glad you reached out for help. We're filling your arms with everything we know that might help you, so take it and run with it. The ball is in your court. You can do it!
Not one person, especially not I, expected a recovery from this. Too many blackouts, humiliating dramas, screaming fights, vomiting, binges, hangovers, lies, money wasted. Just too much history, and most of it, especially in the last years, truly awful. Just miserable.
It's quite amazing what sobriety helps accomplish. For me, once I got sober, everything sort of fell back into place. Did I have A LOT of amends to make, time to make up for, trust to restore, etc...Damned right I did. But being sober made these once seemingly impossible hurdles if not easy, then at least, with much hard work and humility, possible.
Fast forward to today, four years and six months later. Our marriage is better than its ever, EVER been. When my boys look at me, I see love and pride in their eyes (if I saved forever and sold everything I had and won the lottery, I still would not have enough money to buy those amazing looks from them. I had to earn them, and they are priceless). My family doesn't have that scared, watchful air about them, as if waiting for Mom to screw up and humiliate them yet again. My sister calls me just to chat, about nothing in particular, and I love that. When I say I'll be somewhere, I show up. When I'm asked to bring something, I do. I'm dependable, which shocks me still, four years and six months later.
So, Mrs. Javamama, put aside your fear, it accomplishes nothing. Likewise guilt, worry, humiliation, shame...Spilt milk. There is a wealth of information right here on Sober Recovery. Go to an AA meeting. Educate yourself on Recovery. You should go to your Doctor and come clean about your drinking, find out what to expect during withdrawal. Devise a plan, then stop drinking. You can do it, just like so many of us did. I'm really glad you reached out for help. We're filling your arms with everything we know that might help you, so take it and run with it. The ball is in your court. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Leeds
Posts: 399
[QUOTE=javamama;4150346]my alcoholism keeps saying Im not an alcoholic. /QUOTE]
This. I have this voice in my head right now. It's like a demon living inside my head. But we can both make it through, just remember that voice is addiction and you're not thinking straight.
This. I have this voice in my head right now. It's like a demon living inside my head. But we can both make it through, just remember that voice is addiction and you're not thinking straight.
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
Until I said goodbye my best friend alcohol things only got worse. A day came when things were so bad I surrendered. Alcohol has kicked my b*** for the last time. I found AA and sobriety.
Sobriety is possible when you want it bad enough and do it a day at a time.
Sobriety is possible when you want it bad enough and do it a day at a time.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by longbeachone 
so, mrs. Javamama, put aside your fear, it accomplishes nothing. Likewise guilt, worry, humiliation, shame...spilt milk. There is a wealth of information right here on sober recovery. Go to an aa meeting. Educate yourself on recovery. You should go to your doctor and come clean about your drinking, find out what to expect during withdrawal. Devise a plan, then stop drinking. You can do it, just like so many of us did. I'm really glad you reached out for help. We're filling your arms with everything we know that might help you, so take it and run with it. The ball is in your court. You can do it!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
