newspring

Soooo...on only my third day I found that I wasn't strong enough. I worked a 13 hour overnight shift last night with NO sleep. I came home at 7:30am....and almost like a robot proceeded to drink 2 glasses of wine and a beer to help myself fall asleep. I was so tired and it was almost like auto pilot took control with my graveyard shift routine....I did sleep for a few hours but now I am just upset with myself....that I didn't have the willpower and have given in so easily to alcohol....I guess it also doesn't help that there is plenty of alcohol in my house up for grabs.....funny thing is I don't even feel well rested....and I just feel guilt and remorse....please God, give me the strength I need to stay sober! I couldn't even enjoy the buzz I had....it just made me feel weak and angry with myself...

newspring

I am so thankful though that this was my last overnight shift and in September I will go back to a normal morning schedule...I definately have noticed this schedule has triggered my drinking even more than usual....

resolute50

I fell off the wagon quite a few times before I started to string days together.
And now it's been over a month for me.
Don't beat yourself up too bad.Just examine what went wrong and be on guard for it the next time.
And make sure you jump right back on the wagon.
We're all pulling for you.

lessgravity

From my reading of this forum and my own experiences - falling off the wagon is as common as anything out there. But just because it's common doesn't mean you should excuse yourself.

Pick yourself up. Trust yourself and don't drink, that's all there is.

Mainly though, do you have a plan?

Renarde

I think this is a good thing.

I'm glad it was your last night shift.

tate9685

Sounds like night shifts are not for you. I think its very important to take care of yourself physically (all the time...but even more so in early sobriety) because when you are feeling weak, tired, hungry, stressed, etc. you are so vulnerable to an attack by alcohol cravings. Try to listen to what your body really needs. Find other ways to comfort and take care of yourself if you are tired or stressed. Have you read Living Sober? There are tons of ideas in this book on ways to have fun...but also feel better without alcohol. Good luck and just keep trying...dont give up!

doggonecarl

First, if it's your alcohol, get rid of it (and I don't mean drink it). If it is someone else's, ask them to get rid of it, or at least out of the house.

Second, will power alone works for people who aren't alcoholic. If you can't stay quit despite your overwhelming desire to, then you need to treat this like what it is--an addiction.

newspring

I don't have a solid plan as of yet...I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow and hope she can steer me in the right direction.

lessgravity

I think you need to focus on getting a plan in place. White knuckling it via willpower is a dangerous game. Have you looked into AVRT?

newspring

I'm not sure what AVRT is? All the alcohol is my fiance's....he's a moderate drinker..

IOAA2

Part of the problem is that people expect that they'll be ABLE to have a fresh start again. In my experience about 50% can't connect again after repeated failures so treat yourself with a plan to not drink one day at a time even if your axx falls off. Booze is not worth the miserable experience as a result of drinking it. Read the many posts here what it's doing to people. BE WELL

lessgravity

There are long AVRT threads in the Secular Connections section on this site. If you have any questions I'm happy to answer a PM.

Stay strong. I think it's worth it.

doggonecarl

Is he supportive of your decision to quit drinking? And he's not an alcoholic himself...Then you would think he would have no problem making the house an alcohol-free zone.

Or have you not broached the subject of your sobriety yet?

MythOfSisyphus

You need a plan. At some point you need to bring your fiance into your game plan, too. While the decision to quit must be yours alone you'll need his support. And if he's going to be sharing the rest of your life with you, you need to get on the same page. That doesn't mean he must stop drinking necessarily but he has to be able to appreciate that you need a supportive environment.

A slip is not a fall. Don't get to despondent, just get up and try again. Try until you get it right. It's too important not to.

wizard1969

I am someone who has had sleep problems, went to Mayo clinic for sleep studies and have had long conversations with researchers about alcohol and sleep. They all said that alcohol will put you to sleep faster but you will not get certain stages of restful sleep, so don't do it. Falling off the wagon is not always going to happen but it does happen often, so don't feel bad.Get rid of all the booze in the house and try again. It might take a few weeks to notice but your sleep WILL get better without the booze.

Dee74

I had insomnia for almost all the time I was drinking...I never slept, I simply passed out, and woke up a couple of hours later not rested.

It took a little while but I got back into the rhythms of natural sleep - no meds, just common sense things like eating well, but a little earlier, doing a little exercise, making sure I set myself a bedtime for a while...

it takes a little patience and faith but you can do it too newspring

I think you need a plan too. I had to make some changes in my lifestyle, and I had to find support - I think those are the fundamentals.

D