GhostFace

After almost another week of being sober, I failed once again over the weekend. I was embarrassed to even post here as I cant even keep count on how many times I have failed.

My sister had a talk with me this week on my drinking and how its getting out of control. I had my last six pack last night and im ready to change.

Im looking into AVRT and daily support here. I will have a plan and strive to move forward. I have alot of friends that are holding me back and only look for me to drink. This is one of the hardest and most rewarding thing that I could do for myself.

So why do I fail at drinking?

- I hang with a bunch of pot heads and alcoholics
- I dont plan my days
- negative influence
- I keep thinking that Im a moderate drinker
- Too much time on my hands

I will post later on as im writing this from my phone while im at work
-

LadyinBC

Don't ever be embarrassed to post here. Okay you screwed up, however, you learned soemthing from it. We don't learn anything unless we make a few mistakes along the way.

This journey is not easy for anyone.

grandma12

You can do this, it all starts at day one.

LadyBlue0527

LadyinBC is right, don't ever be embarrassed to post here. Never stop trying! You're on a road that has some potholes. Eventually you'll learn how to navigate around them instead of falling into them.

Making that list is good and also referring back to that post when you need a reminder of what you're trying to accomplish.

It's tough to do that when you're having the craving but it will pass and you can get through it. It does get easier, you CAN do this!

BLKDIESEL

To Ghostface...there is no such thing as a "failure" what you are having are experiences to learn from. These experiences can make you bitter or make you better and calling yourself a failure seems to be making you bitter...you have to change that mindset.

And speaking of changing it seems that you have some things, people and habits that you know you must change as well if you want to make this change for good. The good thing is you already have a clear idea of what's keeping you back so you know what you have to begin to change. Start with your environment and then yourself and work on getting better instead of bitter and also remove the word "failure" from your vocab. What happens to us does not define who we are. Welcome to SR.

james872

What if you took all of these statements and write down a solution for them? For example:

Problem: I don't plan my days.
Solution: Plan my days.
How: {write down how you will incorporate this solution into your life}

Use your own solutions though, this was just an example.

Good luck!

winkster26

Thank you for sharing. You are NOT a failure. You just made an honest assessment of your self and that is admirable. I'm lots like you but I can't beat myself up anymore. It's counter productive to my well being. This is my journey and I just keep trying to get back up and get back up. I'm on day 1 myself and I just hope I can say NO tonight ESP when hubby gets home and gas his drinks. It's good to have this community!

Lightning Bug

You are always welcome.

Lionhearted1

Fail 1000 times keep trying because that 1001 time might be it...

Nuudawn

Good job coming back. My decision for sobriety was a decision for a new life without alcohol. It was a decision to face life head on without the props of alcohol. Sobriety for me is about growing the eff up...finally. I need to learn to cope with all things ..without alcohol. I have to redefine my pleasures and what I think fun truly is. Hanging out at alcohol centered functions (e.g. bars, drinking parties where getting hammered is focus) are no longer in the "fun column".

When I anxiety gets at crisis level I have to "deal"..but ya know, I do myself a big ole favour by not letting it get to crisis level. I try to head my stuff off at the pass. I post here or just kinda center and try and figure out what's REALLY eating me.

Building a brand new life takes time. It requires redefining, reframing, restructuring...RE everything in REcovery.

GhostFace

Thank you guys for the support. I have alot of events this weekend including my father's birthday that involves heavy drinking. I will stay sober. I cant go on this way starting today

Anna

Sometimes you need to step back from activities where alcohol is involved, at least for awhile. That's the hard part of early recovery. I couldn't be around alcohol for many months when I stopped drinking. I tried it and it just didn't work for me.

I'm glad you're back and trying again.