Flavia2

I'm just so sad tonight! AH has abandoned us. Tried to talk to the kids about it, but really-- I'm at a loss for words/explanations. I'm really hurting. Just Sunday he was so sorry, going to work on it, going to start coming home. Is this a method of controlling me? Why do alcoholics not come home? I have no job, so we are completely dependent. I am looking for one. Thanks for any advice.

Hammer

You sure he has abandoned you?

Dunno. Just asking.

As far as the kids -- maybe try the School Therapist.

I had no idea, but ours turned out Great. When Mrs. Hammer came home from rehab and was going bonkers, our daughter was Very Stressed, I talked with the School Therapist, she set us up in Alateen. Daughter loves it and has been Great.

And yeah, the "You Must Get a Job" is part of this realm. Same in Mental Illness. Same in combo A and Mental Illness. In all ways you cannot leave your family dependent on someone with Chemical and/or Alcohol dependency, or you all wind up in a sinking boat.

brownhorse

I don't think it is a method of control. I think he really meant it when he said it. It sounds to me like he broke one of your boundaries. Your expectation is he will not leave you. Now is the hard part. What are you going to do about it so that next time you are not at a loss and your kids do not feel abandoned? A job and a plan? It's very hard and lonely. Thoughts and prayers sent your way.