zombiebre

A little back story... I've been a crazy drunk for about 15 years, I'm 30 now. all I've ever known is when fun is involved I was drunk. Well that wasn't working out so well because I quickly started drinking everyday at the age 25... Now after three tries I've finally Accepted that I do have an allergy to alcohol and will NEVER be able to drink like my friends do (like normal people do, enjoying a few next to the pool or BBQ. I would always take this as a challenge to finish an 18 pack or a whole bottle of fireball)

So now that you understand where I'm coming from is it anger or just jealousy I feel that my friends do not call me and invite me places anymore. I understand I only have four months sobriety but that does not mean I cannot go out and enjoy a night out without a drink. I have even offered to be designated driver! It really does hurt my feelings to see pictures or hear that my girlfriends went out without me. I feel deep down like I'm being punished for being sober or maybe this is just what I get as a reaction to my being drunk for so long.

ScoutBall

I think sometimes our drinking buddies stay away because it's uncomfortable. When a person makes some changes in their lives that is a friend, I think it forces us consciously, or unconsciously to look at ourselves, and for some people that isn't pleasant.

It could be some of your friends feel they may have an issue with alcohol as well. You being with them is a reminder.

It could be you're more sensitive to it, because a lot of times drinking is the central theme to get togethers--intended or not.

I've been a lot more isolated from people I socialized with--and for the most part--that is fine with me, as it turns out--really--the only thing we had in common was getting drunk.

Being sober allows me to see the forest for the trees. What used to be jealousy at my pals going out and having a great time, quickly turns to relief when I see the FB pictures of them at their worst, and I'm noticeably absent. It's also fantastic not to be nursing the hangovers they are.

longbeachone

It's not about you, you're taking positive and necessary action to change your life for the better. When your girlfriends are partying and out of control (having "fun"), there is a small part of them that knows that what they are doing is not too smart, but they are listening to the devil perched on their shoulder, egging them on. You are like the good angel on the other shoulder, the one that they are trying to not to pay any attention to. Unfortunately, you are real, standing among them, doing the right, smart thing to do. Pretty darned hard to ignore!

Don't worry. These issues will take care of themselves. You'll find a way to see your drinking friends in a way that will work for everyone (a movie, play, brunch...lots of fun things to do that don't necessarily include alcohol). You will also find your life filling up with things that you enjoy but couldn't do when drinking. I'm shocked to find myself performing in a musical right now, and never in a billion years did I think I could do that when I was drunk every night.

It just takes some time for things to settle. Work on your sobriety, enjoy your newfound good health, and you'll be fine.