TinkAAA

Hi I'm Hayley and I have major drink problem, that I've known about for sometime but stupidly have done nothing about. I got so drunk last night that I don't know how I got home, this is a recurring thing lately and today has been horrendous guilt and despair at what I have become anyway I plan to go to my first aa meeting tomorrow! I have in the past had a heroin addiction which none of my family knew of including my ex partner and kids.. I cold turkeyed on my own so know I can beat this :0) just scared at how il cope with no crutch.

misterritter

Hi and welcome, Hayley.

I have found a lot of wisdom and support on this site. i think the longer you go without your 'crutch' the more you will realize it was more of an anchor than a support.

ImperfectlyMe

Welcome hayley glad you joined us. You can do this in in time you will see that, that very same "crutch" is what's keeping you crippled. This is a wonderful nurturing supportive group. I look forward to watching and hearing your progress

JumpnOn2

Hello Hayley!! Welcome to SR! You will find a lot of support here. Never thought of SR as a crutch but maybe SR can be the crutch we all can use. Keep coming back it does help!!!

Bruce292

What I found was my drinking wasn't a crutch. It was a big weight that was dragging me down. The fact that you're planning on going to an AA meeting shows that you have a plan. I think that's really important. Keep posting here. You'll find supportive people who are going through or who have been through what you're dealing with.

bblackbirdflyy

Hayley! You will be great! I'm on 11 days sober and things are already so much clearer! you may not remember how you got home, but you can be thankful that you did get home, unharmed but scared and with a new perspective! Keep posting. It helps.

BLKDIESEL

Welcome Hayley, the first step is acknowledgement and then taking action to correct it. There is no judgement here and you will find lots of support at AA and SR so use them in conjunction. Day 2 of my journey. Welcome and keep posting.

Hevyn

Welcome to SR Hayley - you found a great place.

It was so hard for me to let go of the thing I'd used to cope. Except in the end, it was no longer helping. What was once fun and relaxing - something to take the edge off - had become a necessity. It ended up being poison to me - and only brought me misery. It's no friend to us. Glad you are here to let go of it and get free.

TinkAAA

Hey thanks all for the kind words :0)

Any opinions on wether or not I should tell my kids my plans? I have girls 14 and 16 and a 10 year old son. Would kind of like to tell my girls but am worried incase I fail, they really don't like my drinking!

ImperfectlyMe

I would tell the older girls gives you accountability a key to success!!!!

Dee74

Hi Hayley

all of us worried about what sober life would be like - but look around - there's thousands of us - none of us would stay sober if we felt we lost out on the deal

You'll find a lot of support here - you're not alone
Post as often as you need to

as far as your kids go, only you know your kids. If you think your kids need to know for their sake then by all means tell them - but if you're telling them for you, to make it easier for you or accountability or absolution or whatever, I'd probably hold off.

We need to be accountable for our own sobriety I think - noone should have to be accountable for someone elses sobriety - least of all our kids IMO.

D

JackDsMissus

Hi Hayley I'm no one to talk but I've found I've always had addictions and rotate them almost 2 yearly. I am tackling the one I have now drinking but also it's had me looking for the root of the problem. My addictive personality. I've spoke to ma doc about both drinking and my addictive disorder and I am going to counselling soon regarding the latter and AA for the drinking. I chose to do this because I know, I will give up drinking and probably start running again (I was addicted to that for about 6 years) and as much as I love running I want to get to the bottom of of why, what and how to really fill this void that I try to fill with things outside myself. Something to think about maybe?

TinkAAA

Haven't had a drink all day but day 2 has always been the one I've stumbled on, so meeting tomorrow night will hopefully help! Took the kids out for dinner and was planning on telling my girls but I'm gonna hold off for now as i think and see how the next few days pan out.

Wish I had someone to look after me a little!

misterritter

You have you. Be good to yourself.

Dejvice

Hi Haley. I think you could be even more scared if you really understood what you will lose if you continue down the same path.

SR is a good place to start. Good luck with the AA meeting.....another positive step.

Dejvice

and you have a load of people here....

13unluckyforsom

It's natural to be scared Hayley - it's a big admission and a long journey to get sober. It's not going to be easy but YOU DESERVE MORE and so do your girls your life can be so much better than it has been but like you have said you need to deal with the underlying issues.

I'm only on day ten tomorrow but my head is so much clearer even in that short time. I drank to mask stress anxiety and boredom - in the end it just made everything worse. I used to say 'I need the drink to calm me down' but truth be told I'm less anxious now - still stressed but that's life and there has to be better ways to deal with it. What I guess I'm trying to say is that the drinking never helped at all. It was my excuse.

Solosweat

Hi Hayley, the first couple of weeks are the hardest. I am only on day 31, and am not attending meetings, but have found this site to be supportive beyond belief.

Hang in there, stay positive even when you feel miserable.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome, Hayley! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. There's another kind of life that's possible, better than you can imagine. You just need to reach for it.

pinkdog

Dear Tink, welcome. I hope you go to the meeting. You are not alone.