limeskittles

So long story short my parents don't know (or choose to ignore) that I have a problem with alcohol. I'm sure they think that because I don't drink every day and save it all to get completely wrecked on the weekend that that isn't a "problem."

Well I've been trying to stay sober and away from the bars for awhile now but this past week has been my most, and only, successful first weekend of sobriety.

Now the problem.... my dad got me a job as a barback in a bar that I used to frequent. His best friend helped built the place and is friends with the owner so I got the job opportunity thru him.

Obviously I don't feel comfortable taking the job. For one, I've made a fool of myself so many times at this particular bar in my drunken state that I'm too ashamed to step foot in the place. And secondly, most importantly, I know I can't work in a bar and stay sober, especially this early on. There's just no way in hell it'll happen.

I need to tell my parents that I cannot accept the job but am afraid of telling them the real reason. I wasn't going to tell family for quite awhile. I'm so torn on what to do.

BLKDIESEL

First, thanks for sharing your tale and remember always...THIS IS YOUR LIFE...YOURS!!! the problem you have with alcohol is yours alone not your parents so you have to deal with the issues that arise from drinking. Secondly, if this position you have been offered does not support your sobriety then do not take the position. There is no way that your parents can be upset with your decision if it is something your are doing to better your life and your sobriety is just that...bettering "your" life and that is nothing to be ashamed of. You don't have to tell them the complete reason behind your decision just that it not a position you can accept at this point in your life. Working on day 2 myself but wanted to share that with you. #StayFocused.

misterritter

There is one thing I disagree with about blkdiesel's post. Your parents may be upset, there is not way to control their actions or reactions or even be sure that they will act rationally.

But you know what is right for you and that is what you must do. The specifics of how you do that depends on your situation; ie what exactly you tell your parents, how you spin it, etc. But it sounds like you know what you want and need.

Good luck to you.

Lightning Bug

Telling your parents that you don't want the job is secondary. They need to know first that you are an alcoholic and that you are taking steps to recovery. It is important to have a plan before they ask you what you are going to do. Show that you accept responsibility and that you are making progress. Hopefully they will understand why you choose not to take the job.

resolute50

Just tell them that you don't think this kind of situation would be good right now.
Over the past year YOU feel that your drinking has increased.
That it is becoming more of a habit that YOU don't want to get any worse.
And are taking steps to nip it in the bud before it gets too out of hand.

Perhaps there is another job that your father can find for you at this time.

hayley86

Congrats on your first sober weekend.That is great. I think its good that you are being so honest with yourself and realize that working in a bar would be a disaster for your sobriety. I don't know the dynamics of your family or what your relationship with your parents is like. If you don't want to share the specifics of your drinking problem can you not just tell your dad that you don't want to take this job?. If they are pushing you to take the job then being honest sooner rather than later might be a great option. The extra support might really help your recovery. Also i bet they will respect your efforts and desire to get sober and well.

hypochondriac

I hope it goes well limeskittles I told my family after a few months of sobriety and I won't lie, it was tough, mainly because I let their doubts get to me. Stay strong even if they try and reassure you that it'll be okay. Ultimately though my family have been allies in my recovery. It may take them a while to accept it but I think there is something very freeing in being honest, no matter how tough it is. Let us know how you get on x