SoTM

Not really new to recovering, but I am back at a point where I need to quit alcohol. I have been struggling with alcohol since I was 18, I am now almost 36. I had a very good stretch of 6 years of total sobriety, and have had a few periods of sobriety lasting several months prior to that.

I lied to myself again about 2 years ago that I could handle "normal" drinking. Which I did for about 3 months.....it then of course progressed into daily drinking, then in higher quantities. That lie has been what has killed every stretch of sobriety I have had. It of course builds to the point that I am at now, heavy drinking, sometimes twice a say. Mostly beer. It is noticeably affecting my life drive, as well as feeling like a bucket of crap. I have become a fatso again....which kills me because I was at a great weight, now I am 60 effen pounds away from that.

Starting up again tomorrow......

Tamerua

Welcome! You did it before, you can do it again!

Dee74

Welcome SoTM

D

resolute50

Welcome to SR.
I also fell for the lie and just recently have awakened from my drunken slumber.
Glad you found this site and are ready to do the same.

dwtbd

Yeah that particular lie is a bugger, I fell for it many times. But now I Know it's a complete falsehood, so now even if I hear it from myself, I tell it to bugger off.

Drinking is no longer an option, probably never was, sometimes it takes awhile to fully realize that.

SoTM

Thank you

Ugh...it is a brutal one. What hooks me is the doing "normal" for several weeks. I could almost laugh right now thinking back to the 2-3 drinks that buzzed me back then. At least for me, each time I fall back for it, it always builds to a much worse level.

Best of luck, we can check in and see how we make out.


I am happy to see I am not the only one that falls for that crap. I am not sure if it was even addiction calling me back, or just a yearning to be like everyone else. I now know without doubt I am not like most, and it is either drinking or not drinking that I have to choose.

What keeps me in the cycle now is the disgust with myself and how far I let it go....but that never gets better so there is zero sense in continuing. I practically scream it to myself every morning that this S does nothing for me....it will stick real soon. I have always been a "dry drunk" in the sense of no meetings. Maybe it is time to go, at least just to keep me occupied.

I get a chuckle at the emoticons available....all are appropriate

Bruce292

I was a similar sort of drinker. I stopped for almost ten years while my kids were growing up ... and then bit by bit it crept back into my life ... along with a whole array of drugs. There is no normal drinking for me. Once that "feeling" creeps into my body I chase it like it's the last thing on earth. It's no secret that alcohol packs in the calories and while I was drinking I always sported a big gut. It can get better but for me It only became better when I stopped pouring ethanol and an array of chemicals into my body. The cycle is hard to break but it CAN be broken.

Thank you for your post. Keep posting and help others.

SoTM

Well, I made it past 72 hours without any drink, and I am going to bed now. I had originally started the day after I started this thread, but slipped up 1.5 days in. My days had become 2 drinking episodes that were basically the big event at the end of every day....drinking about 4-5 beers after work, then the heavier round of drinking at night, usually 7-8. Ugh. I remember many days after waking up late and hungover, just watching the clock and waiting till the big drinking event to come while accomplishing nothing. What a waste of life.

I have had no real withdrawal symptoms, some minor headaches. I have felt a bit hot in the face and warm a couple times a day, but that was happening a lot more when I was drinking(for quite a while), maybe just my body figuring out what's going on. No temperature at all though. My dreams have been intense and vivid, but not nightmarish. I feel totally fine and feeling more alert coming out of that alcoholic daze.

I almost slipped up tonight, about 1 hour before when that nighttime drinking would have happened I got it in my head I was going to drink....with the usual "I'll just stop again tomorrow". Too many times I have been there in the last year or so, and it is weeks before I even give it another shot. I have no idea what triggers the urge, it is not anger stress or boredom. I ate dinner right when I would have started drinking, which killed the urge for a while...and it never came back.

I will say I always marvel at how good it is to wake up hangover free. I am groggy in the morning, since I am sleeping weird and falling asleep late....but no splitting headache or sick feeling. I was even woken yesterday morning early by a tenant with an emergency and I only had 3 hours of sleep. I'm not sure I could have even done anything had I been my usual way.

So far so good. I'm glad I did not give in to that urge earlier. It really does not take long for me to learn to like something new, and I have done this before.

Eleni58

"I ate dinner right when I would have started drinking, which killed the urge for a while...and it never came back."

That is what worked for me during the first several days

least

I'm glad you're on the road to recovery. Stick with us - we'll keep you company.

Mentium

There are some hoary old clichés around drinking and sobriety, but one I am beginning to realise is so very true is that it is the first drink that does the damage for alcoholic drinkers. Stay away from that one and we stand a chance!

All the best and welcome back!

SoTM

Eleni- yeah it gives me something to do either preparing it or ordering it, and eating just kills any desire to drink since I always drink on an empty stomach

Least- thanks....I do like checking into the forum a couple times a day

Hi mentium- yeah, that first drink can so easily ruin everything. In 2004 I had been sober several months and got drunk one night with a woman. Of course it was fun.....so much fun that I ended up drinking every night after for almost a year. I quit and was sober for 6 years and was doing great. Someone merely mentioned that I just try Harpoon beer.....I can only assume I had become complacent or just foolish enough to think I could just drink it to taste beer.

SoTM

5 days down! I feel great and alert....as oppose to that bloated I'll feeling I had felt almost everyday. I am less irritable and can actually accomplish things.

I napped during what would have been one of my drinking times today. I woke with a splitting headache, but I am also quitting caffeine and today is the first full day....most likely from that. I did have another strong urge to drink after I woke from the nap and started becoming active again. But I took a drive and hit the market which took me past my normal drinking time and I was fine.

After even just 5 days have passed, I still feel protective of that....it is much harder to throw that away by drinking and will only grow. No caffeine and no alcohol....I'll be sleeping tonight