Milestone birthdays
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Milestone birthdays
In about 2 months I will be 40 years old!
It will be 10 years since I was 30 years old. Maths always always was my strong point!!!!!
I think my drinking really took off in my 30's.
Although I am not sure how I feel about being 40, I think that with the exception of the birth of my beloved daughter, my 30's were some of the most miserable years of my life so far.
Waking up hungover, with regrets, self hatred and feeling hopeless. Wondering where the carefree girl I was in my teens and 20's had gone. Feeling scared and out of control. Not understanding how the only time I could have a smile on my face was when I 2 drinks in.
I was thinking last night, what I wished I could have told myself when I was going into my 30's.
Perhaps what I wished I could have saved myself from, or not had to learn the hard way.
Because I love making lists, even miserable lists, I think I would have said this to myself.
1. Never, ever drink on an empty stomach. Never starve yourself all day and reward your 'good efforts' of denying yourself food with a large vodka and tonic. Slimline tonic of course!
2. Never have another drink to ward off a hangover, delay a hangover or make yourself feel better.
3. Don't get into the position where the only way you know how to relax is with an alcoholic drink. Keep doing other activities, like horse riding, sport, exercise home improvements, kite flying, whatever. Just don't think that the only way to relax and unwind is with booze.
4. You do not need to drink to fit in, not be the odd one out, not stick out like a sore thumb. Drinking heavily is the one of the sure fire ways to really stick out like a sore thumb.
5. Don't drink to make situations better. Jobs, family, relationships. It does not work. You are only prolonging the misery and you will suffer later down the line. You still will have to make a decision about that situation at some point, but if you put it off and put it off, whilst in a blissful alcohol induced haze, it only gets harder. Alcohol makes it okay for you to settle for something or someone you
6. Drink + work = bad, bad, bad. And some colleagues can have very long memories and take great pleasure at reminding you on a regular basis of your lowest points when drunk.
7. An innocent drink is often not as innocent as it seems. You may hit low points and there will be incidents that will haunt you for a long, long, long time.
8. Not everything has to be celebrated with a drink. It is okay to have a cup of tea and a slice of cake!
9. There is so much more to this life than waking every single morning and swearing never again. Hating what you see in the mirror, having extreme anxiety until lunch time. Then the madness of entertaining thoughts of another drink on the way home and buying alcohol supplies for that evening.
10. That if you really want something, and you work at it, you can have it.
11. Alcohol is the biggest lie, the biggest con in the book. It does not give you more courage, more confidence, a relaxed state of mind, a fantastic nights sleep. It does not make you sophisticated, more fun to be with, better at conversations or more interesting. Its a bit sad that expensive wine or 'rare' whisky is an interest or a hobby. Alcohol has the potential to ruin your life and the life of those you love.
12. The birth of my daughter was instrumental in making my life happier. She brings me such joy, so many smiles, so much happiness. Me finding SR and meeting the family I consider I have here, has also been instrumental. I am proud to be a member here, even though I am not proud to be what I am. You are all very special to me. Its so nice to know that wherever I am in the world, you guys are with me too.
I know that whatever life throws at me, SR has got my back!
Love you all
xxxX
It will be 10 years since I was 30 years old. Maths always always was my strong point!!!!!
I think my drinking really took off in my 30's.
Although I am not sure how I feel about being 40, I think that with the exception of the birth of my beloved daughter, my 30's were some of the most miserable years of my life so far.
Waking up hungover, with regrets, self hatred and feeling hopeless. Wondering where the carefree girl I was in my teens and 20's had gone. Feeling scared and out of control. Not understanding how the only time I could have a smile on my face was when I 2 drinks in.
I was thinking last night, what I wished I could have told myself when I was going into my 30's.
Perhaps what I wished I could have saved myself from, or not had to learn the hard way.
Because I love making lists, even miserable lists, I think I would have said this to myself.
1. Never, ever drink on an empty stomach. Never starve yourself all day and reward your 'good efforts' of denying yourself food with a large vodka and tonic. Slimline tonic of course!
2. Never have another drink to ward off a hangover, delay a hangover or make yourself feel better.
3. Don't get into the position where the only way you know how to relax is with an alcoholic drink. Keep doing other activities, like horse riding, sport, exercise home improvements, kite flying, whatever. Just don't think that the only way to relax and unwind is with booze.
4. You do not need to drink to fit in, not be the odd one out, not stick out like a sore thumb. Drinking heavily is the one of the sure fire ways to really stick out like a sore thumb.
5. Don't drink to make situations better. Jobs, family, relationships. It does not work. You are only prolonging the misery and you will suffer later down the line. You still will have to make a decision about that situation at some point, but if you put it off and put it off, whilst in a blissful alcohol induced haze, it only gets harder. Alcohol makes it okay for you to settle for something or someone you
6. Drink + work = bad, bad, bad. And some colleagues can have very long memories and take great pleasure at reminding you on a regular basis of your lowest points when drunk.
7. An innocent drink is often not as innocent as it seems. You may hit low points and there will be incidents that will haunt you for a long, long, long time.
8. Not everything has to be celebrated with a drink. It is okay to have a cup of tea and a slice of cake!
9. There is so much more to this life than waking every single morning and swearing never again. Hating what you see in the mirror, having extreme anxiety until lunch time. Then the madness of entertaining thoughts of another drink on the way home and buying alcohol supplies for that evening.
10. That if you really want something, and you work at it, you can have it.
11. Alcohol is the biggest lie, the biggest con in the book. It does not give you more courage, more confidence, a relaxed state of mind, a fantastic nights sleep. It does not make you sophisticated, more fun to be with, better at conversations or more interesting. Its a bit sad that expensive wine or 'rare' whisky is an interest or a hobby. Alcohol has the potential to ruin your life and the life of those you love.
12. The birth of my daughter was instrumental in making my life happier. She brings me such joy, so many smiles, so much happiness. Me finding SR and meeting the family I consider I have here, has also been instrumental. I am proud to be a member here, even though I am not proud to be what I am. You are all very special to me. Its so nice to know that wherever I am in the world, you guys are with me too.
I know that whatever life throws at me, SR has got my back!
Love you all
xxxX
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: uk
Posts: 725
Fab post sash...i am rite behind u ..be 40 in jan...many many similarities in my life too..although i had my girls in my 20s.....keep on keeping on gal...ive got yr back...and i know u got mine ...hugs xx cleo xxxx
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,511
#5 & #11 ring especially true for me Sasha. An excellent list - will be helpful to many I'm sure.
Please trust me - 40 is very young.
I had hit my 50's before I took action. So many wonderful, healthy, eyes-wide-open years lie ahead for you! Proud of you - thanks for sharing your insight with us.
Please trust me - 40 is very young.
I had hit my 50's before I took action. So many wonderful, healthy, eyes-wide-open years lie ahead for you! Proud of you - thanks for sharing your insight with us.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,008
Great post Sasha. I love your list. The one that sticks out for me is the not drinking to 'fit in'. I think that's what I did. First with my family...then with my friends.
It took a lot for me to take the risk of not 'fitting in' when I stopped drinking, but I didn't realise that true friends value me for who I really am, not who I became when I was drunk.
The friendships I have now are fewer but much more real and I really value them. I no longer have to pretend to be someone I'm not.
I'm sure your 40s will be a time of great personal growth and you will find your peace and happiness xxx
It took a lot for me to take the risk of not 'fitting in' when I stopped drinking, but I didn't realise that true friends value me for who I really am, not who I became when I was drunk.
The friendships I have now are fewer but much more real and I really value them. I no longer have to pretend to be someone I'm not.
I'm sure your 40s will be a time of great personal growth and you will find your peace and happiness xxx
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I'm 40 next birthday too-there seem to be a few of us around
great post Sasha. I realize now that 40 is not old,It's a new chapter opening up and a new start. I don't intend to waste any of my 40s on regrets on what I could have or should have done. just gonna get out there and do things now.Who knows what may happen in the great adventure of life?
great post Sasha. I realize now that 40 is not old,It's a new chapter opening up and a new start. I don't intend to waste any of my 40s on regrets on what I could have or should have done. just gonna get out there and do things now.Who knows what may happen in the great adventure of life?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Great post sasha. I could have done with that in my teens! I spent most of my life confusing drunkness with actual happiness. One is more hard won than the other but worth it. It is amazing how many people do though, even 'normal' drinkers. Oh, and I hear 40 is the new 30 x
x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by hypochondriac 
I spent most of my life confusing drunkenness with actual happiness.
I am coming up on 45 in November. I guess if what they say is true I will be 35...lol Works for me! I know I don't feel 44 anymore. I used to feel like death warmed over everyday. Now I feel great!
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