need support no where else to turn
Breaking Thru
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: SW Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,219
need support no where else to turn
I just snap , uncontrollable anger. Last night after a wonderful day , i returned home to find my keys locked in my car . My girlfriend said something to me about it and i snapped . It's not the first time and it's probably over. I'm devestated today and am afraid I'll reach for my crutch. I already text my dealer
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
riky, unless your dealer has a spare set of keys to your car, that is NOT a solution!!! calm down. keys are not lost. you just need to get TO them. stuff happens.
one night my husband and I drove to go see a friend's band...and we met another couple there, chatting outside the car. my husband managed to lock the keys IN the car WITH the engine running. just happened to be a auto parts store across the street and they got a slim jim thingie and had it open within 15 minutes.
no excuse is a good enough excuse to use. so don't do it.
one night my husband and I drove to go see a friend's band...and we met another couple there, chatting outside the car. my husband managed to lock the keys IN the car WITH the engine running. just happened to be a auto parts store across the street and they got a slim jim thingie and had it open within 15 minutes.
no excuse is a good enough excuse to use. so don't do it.
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Stress is a killer, ain't it Rick? I'm so sorry you're struggling, everybody on this board knows how much you want to quit. Have you thought about inpatient rehab or counselling?
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
trikyriky, I find a lot of hope in the fact that you posted this. Everyone is here for you and the fact that you posted it means that even though you think you want to use, you really don't. Otherwise you just would have done it. You came here for guidance and support.
Ask yourself, are the keys locked in your car with no possible way to get to them forever? Or is this just a minor inconvenience that you'll get past? Irritating, absolutely. Anvilhead said it best.
Ask yourself, are the keys locked in your car with no possible way to get to them forever? Or is this just a minor inconvenience that you'll get past? Irritating, absolutely. Anvilhead said it best.
Breaking Thru
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: SW Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,219
It's not the keys . I got someone to jimmy open the car. My girl said something and I snapped on her . Its not the first time and I think it's over. I'm a wreck right now , with guilt and remorse. I can't think past it
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Riky, all your posts subliminally say you do not want to use. It's crazy thoughts telling you to do so....please ride it out. You aren't alone.
You will feel a hundred times more worthless if you do use or drink. Please keep your promise to yourself.
Hugs.
You will feel a hundred times more worthless if you do use or drink. Please keep your promise to yourself.
Hugs.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Originally Posted by trikyriky 
It's not the keys . I got someone to jimmy open the car. My girl said something and I snapped on her . Its not the first time and I think it's over. I'm a wreck right now , with guilt and remorse. I can't think past it
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
If you think you've lost your girlfriend, then use this as a learning experience.
There are healthy ways to deal with anger and you can learn to manage your emotions, rather than be controlled by them.
There are healthy ways to deal with anger and you can learn to manage your emotions, rather than be controlled by them.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Ricky you don't have to think past it .
You just got to keep putting one foot infront of another and get through till bed time ..
People break up , argue , get back together , find new partners all of the time , your feelings are not unique .
Uncomfortable feelings are there for a reason to make you deal with stuff, grow and mature as a person . Blotting them out just dosn't work it stops us growing and learning .
I'm sorry it's painful dealing with life , there are no magic wands .
Pesevere . m
You just got to keep putting one foot infront of another and get through till bed time ..
People break up , argue , get back together , find new partners all of the time , your feelings are not unique .
Uncomfortable feelings are there for a reason to make you deal with stuff, grow and mature as a person . Blotting them out just dosn't work it stops us growing and learning .
I'm sorry it's painful dealing with life , there are no magic wands .
Pesevere . m
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by trikyriky
It's not the keys . I got someone to jimmy open the car. My girl said something and I snapped on her . Its not the first time and I think it's over. I'm a wreck right now , with guilt and remorse. I can't think past it
1. Calm down, realize that what happened happened. Take inventory and perhaps apologize and just relax. You did not physically harm yourself or anyone else, and today is moving forward with or without you. Work on staying sober today.
2. Make everything worse by using.
With option 1, there are no guarantees, but many possibilities that things will be just fine. With option 2, there is a 100% guarantee that things will get worse. The only variable us how bad it will get.
Which choice will you make?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Text that dealer back and say you are out of town - hearing back from him/her right now with "what do you need?" will not be helpful. It would be best if you just deleted the number all together but I know that's difficult. Bottom line is to get out off the train tracks now and out of the way of immediate danger.
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time with your relationship. Sounds like there's drama everywhere, and you've got a lot going on upstairs right now. Might be a good time to step back and find a safe calm place to let yourself heal for a while. Don't pressure yourself and try not to think too much - if using drugs or alcohol is in the immediate future you should try and get away from that first. Do what you can to accomplish that step. Then you can work on the other issues, one at a time.
Sorry to hear you're having a rough time with your relationship. Sounds like there's drama everywhere, and you've got a lot going on upstairs right now. Might be a good time to step back and find a safe calm place to let yourself heal for a while. Don't pressure yourself and try not to think too much - if using drugs or alcohol is in the immediate future you should try and get away from that first. Do what you can to accomplish that step. Then you can work on the other issues, one at a time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Hey Ricky, just saw this and I am so sorry you had a rough night. Everyone here has said good stuff and of course I agree that you should absolutely not use. You know that it is going to make it worse because it's going to double the guilt. You're going to feel like crap about the fight with the girlfriend and then even more crap about using. It is not worth it.
As others have said, one thing at a time. Don't snowball stuff. So get past the urge to use and then deal with the girlfriend issue. You seem to have an on-off with this woman (if this is the same one from other posts) so maybe it's time to see if it's really worth continuing? Also, everyone gets stressed out and snaps. It's human nature. All you can do is apologize. But if something is causing you to have constant, low-level anger going all the time, then maybe you need some extra support of that? I was pissed off as hell when I was drinking and also when I stopped. I needed time to not only work on my sobriety, but get my head straightened out too. You'd be amazed how much even a little time working on yourself and getting those anger issues out goes to calming you down on a more permanent basis.
Alright, I won't write you more of a novel but please know I am thinking about you and sending you strong vibes of support.
Here for ya.
Let us know how it goes today.
As others have said, one thing at a time. Don't snowball stuff. So get past the urge to use and then deal with the girlfriend issue. You seem to have an on-off with this woman (if this is the same one from other posts) so maybe it's time to see if it's really worth continuing? Also, everyone gets stressed out and snaps. It's human nature. All you can do is apologize. But if something is causing you to have constant, low-level anger going all the time, then maybe you need some extra support of that? I was pissed off as hell when I was drinking and also when I stopped. I needed time to not only work on my sobriety, but get my head straightened out too. You'd be amazed how much even a little time working on yourself and getting those anger issues out goes to calming you down on a more permanent basis.
Alright, I won't write you more of a novel but please know I am thinking about you and sending you strong vibes of support.
Here for ya.
Let us know how it goes today.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Our addiction will aways find a reason to use, or in your case, create one. You come here asking what you can do different...This right here is where the rubber meets the road. These are the situations where you say no, stay clean, and move on.
Maybe you can't repair the relationship, but you can keep working on you.
Maybe you can't repair the relationship, but you can keep working on you.
Saved By Grace
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oop North, Furtlin' me Ferrets
Posts: 410
Hang in there, a sincere apology will do wonders to smooth things over with your girlfriend. Using again, not so much. I want you to know that just because you contacted your dealer doesn't mean you have to follow through. Early sobriety can be overwhelming, and I had to catch myself a few times after texting my dealer. I've found that its better for me to not have dealers #'s in my phone, its hard enough as it is, without having access to drugs a few clicks away.
Last edited by YoungAndClean; 08-25-2013 at 09:20 AM. Reason: Typo
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
When we're busy getting it together for ourselves life usually has a way of changing things up for us, and we're not always at our best when the perceived worst is happening. Anger is one of those sudden emotions that is not easy to just ignore or set aside although keeping it around smoldering simply creates resentments.
Since you're reaching out, and being honest about freaking out, you have half the battle already beat down against using alcohol/drugs. The rest is even easier as you begin to realize your not alone.
(Possibly) losing important people from our lives hurts and there really is no real way around any of that except to own it. Hurt does not have to mean though that we are lost and down for the count - we can and do work our way thru our angst to a better place with ourselves. Being kind to ourselves, having some understanding of our own situation and what we expect from ourselves, and searching our experiences with staying quit thru other difficult times can really make it easier for new hurts.
I'm sorry you're hurt and angry with yourself right now, Ricky. I don't know if its over with your girl or not, but I do know you don't want to treat her bad from the way you're sounding. Anger usually can be worked back to the earlier hurt which more then likely helped create the present anger which lashed out from you. Working it back takes the momentum off the anger and helps you and others around you be more on top of the original hurt/frustration.
Besides hurting your girl, is there anything else which is also in the mix with yourself going on today?
Way awesome you're posting, Ricky.
Since you're reaching out, and being honest about freaking out, you have half the battle already beat down against using alcohol/drugs. The rest is even easier as you begin to realize your not alone.
(Possibly) losing important people from our lives hurts and there really is no real way around any of that except to own it. Hurt does not have to mean though that we are lost and down for the count - we can and do work our way thru our angst to a better place with ourselves. Being kind to ourselves, having some understanding of our own situation and what we expect from ourselves, and searching our experiences with staying quit thru other difficult times can really make it easier for new hurts.
I'm sorry you're hurt and angry with yourself right now, Ricky. I don't know if its over with your girl or not, but I do know you don't want to treat her bad from the way you're sounding. Anger usually can be worked back to the earlier hurt which more then likely helped create the present anger which lashed out from you. Working it back takes the momentum off the anger and helps you and others around you be more on top of the original hurt/frustration.
Besides hurting your girl, is there anything else which is also in the mix with yourself going on today?
Way awesome you're posting, Ricky.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: US
Posts: 729
Ricky, I hope you decided not to use. Urge surf your way through this.
We all can come up with a million reasons to use, but one really important one not to- life! Anger is such a complicated emotion, complicated even more if we don't deal with our reasons for the underlying anger.
Genuinely apologize to your girl. If she chooses not to accept then that's life. You have to go on and do you! Love yourself enough to love others. Rooting for you!
We all can come up with a million reasons to use, but one really important one not to- life! Anger is such a complicated emotion, complicated even more if we don't deal with our reasons for the underlying anger.
Genuinely apologize to your girl. If she chooses not to accept then that's life. You have to go on and do you! Love yourself enough to love others. Rooting for you!
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