atm23

I've come to this site a few times to read but never have shared until now. I was about a month sober before I gave in 2 days ago, that turned into 2 days of drinking. I am trying to stay positive but am feeling pretty upset. I've tried to quit before but half-heartedly. This is important to me because I know my family would like to see me sober for good. Anyways, I just want to say hello to everyone and I'm hoping by coming here to share maybe this will be a positive help for me on my way to living sober.

Amajorityofone

Good morning and welcome

atm23

Good morning and thank you, I am glad to be here.

jazzfish

Hello and welcome!

ZoeM

Hi and welcome from me too I fully understand the half-hearted attempts to stop - I had 4 years of them until 17 days ago. This time I'm fully committed to it - join me?

pinkdog

Welcome atm!

LadyBlue0527

Hi atm23

Lots of great people and info here! What happened two days ago that made you pick up and what are you planning the next time you feel the same way?

This board is a great urge eater, it's been the difference between me picking up and not picking up a few times.

Glad that you decided to post

atm23

Thanks for the welcoming everyone.

Zoe- yes I'm definitely ready to join you. I thought I was committed a month ago but I was wrong.

hayley86

Welcome atm23. You will find lots of support and advice here. Congrats on achieving a month sober. You have done it before and can do it again and build on it this time. Try and not feel too upset about slipping up. It can take a number of times trying to quit before it finally sticks. Maybe look at what caused you to drink again and see if you can do things differently this time?. Wishing you well.

ZoeM

Atm - the good news is, that all those previous attempts, DO actally make things a little easier as we've learned 'tips' from them

atm23

Thanks again everyone. I know what made me want to drink again was being in a social setting. The people I was having lunch with were old college friends who don't know about the problems I've had with alcohol. When they asked if I wanted to have a beer I said yes even though I knew deep down I should not have drank. Then yesterday just thinking about the taste and the buzz I gave in again. I think my biggest mistake has been keeping this quiet from everyone. Family and close friends know the struggles I've had, but most people are not aware.

atm23

I'm really trying to stay positive but this all is hard on my family, especially my folks and though they are very supportive I can see on their faces today how they're worried and I think a little let down that I gave in so bad.

ZoeM

I haven't told anyone. I told my daughter I was 'knocking it on the head for a while', but that's all. Thankfully, she didn't know how much I was actually drinking and she's a worrier, so I thought it best to just stay quiet. My Doctor is the only one who really knows and she's thrilled that I've joined this site

hayley86

Atm, Its good that you know that being in a social setting led you to drink. You can avoid that happening again. I avoided any places and people that i associated with drinking for the first couple of months.That gave me the best chance at recovery. I kept my sobriety as my number one priority and didn't let anyone influence me. I found a plan for recovery essential too. Try not to worry about feeling as though you let people down. Focus on getting well. Wishing you the best.

atm23

I've read through posts on this site before. I thought about sharing previously but I kinda wanted to stop on my own. I'm glad I joined this morning though.

RandyBH

My experience is that it is hard to quit alone. I wouldn't be at 11 years of sobriety without the support I get in AA.

atm23

Randy, I've thought about going to AA meetings previously. A month ago I was looking them up and found some near me. Maybe I need to give that a try?

FourSeasons

Welcome, ATM23!

Pamel

atm, I regret (or am thankful) to say that "committed" is a daily thing. I have posted a lot of secret thoughts here in the last few days, (with a few unfavorable comments-not the least of which is that I am a "drinker" -as opposed to an alcoholic-whatever that means).

I have no doubt WHATSOEVER that I have that gene for alcoholism, and for once, I am gla I have not had biological children to whom I might pass that on.

It has been a grief of my life to have not had (biological) children (I have step-children) and yet, I am suddenly relieved (out of 30+ cousins, at least 5 have died from alcoholism, 2 are murderers, one died from giving up drinking and having gone from being "Top Gun" to being discharged honorably from the military) only to balloon up to 300+ pounds, and die from that.

No one needs this. (Heard my pivotal moment yesterday at an AA meeting when one of my best friends shared that he has two grandchildren who are in trouble with drugs and/or drinking. (He has 23 years + sober).

If I EVER thought I needed a DAILY "commitment" it was yesterday.

I am here with you and will "subscribe" to your thread. DO NOT GIVE UP!!

Pamel

yes,yes!!!!!!!!!!