Guidance?

Old 08-24-2013, 04:05 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Guidance?

Guidance?
Hello everyone I'm not really here for myself as much as I'm here to learn how to handle being with a recovering herion addict. I was once an addict but I drank an took a lot of pills I'm not even sure what herion does but my boyfriend has these crazy times where he is perfect then next thing I know he's not talking to me like before and when I ask about it he doesn't open up because he says he doesn't trust me but then turns around and tells me once I make it a fight.

I'm not sure how recovering from herion is because I did my recovery by myself with no rehab or anyone there to help me and all I wanted was someone to talk to so in my mind that's what I think other recovering addicts want to do as well. Anyway I just don't know how to handle his moods when they change so quickly he's never hurt me or anything but he has gotten angry and made me feel like crap. This relationship with him means a great deal to me which is the only reason I'm looking for answers here. I just don't know how to handle it
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Old 08-24-2013, 08:55 PM
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Welcome to SR and sorry for the reason that brings you here. In my opinion, you found the right place for guidance on this issue from people in similar situations. I know the first temptation is to figure out how to try and deal with them, how to help them, and how to fix the situation as soon as possible. I know the last realization is "how do I take care of myself." But try to take care of your needs. This is hard at first, and then with practice, it gets easier.

You will hear from so many wonderful people on this forum who have been to hell and back. I really recommend reading posts from others- both from an addicts perspective and from family and friends of addicts.

The bad news is that you are in a very volatile situation, which may be hard to recognize at this point. The good news is you have choices. I invite you to read my posts regarding my relationship with my AXBF (addict ex boyfriend) and you can see the ups and downs of life with addiction and the mental games we play with ourselves.

I feel lucky that I did not marry him or have children with him even though that is what I thought I wanted. I was just obsessed, infatuated, and equally addicted to him as he was to heroin. Finally, after years of chaos, I learned how to love myself which for me meant letting go. I am not saying that is the only option, but it's helps to get in touch with reality as soon as possible regarding your situation to avoid you going down with him and his addiction. Al-anon meetings, therapy, and SR are a few good resources. Also, read the stickies about this section.

Glad you have joined us and please keep posting. It really helps and saved me during desperate and painful times.
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Old 08-25-2013, 04:02 AM
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TMZ
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Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
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Welcome Thorns325,

We can not tell you how to handle or help an addict find recovery. For each person, every situation, each drug is different. Sometimes in trying to help, we wind up enabling them to do it even more and for more reasons. The best any of us can do is share our own experiences and you can decide what what might work for your situation.

Read through some posts and some older ones too. then read through some of the addicts posts and see how hard the struggle is for them. You'll here more truths here than you will here from your own addict. Keep reading and posting here.

I will tell you this; if it is a family member, friend, or lover you will be too close to them to help they need professional help. There are 12 step programs for both the addict and the addicts family, seek one out near you.
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