Newly Sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 6
Newly Sober
Hi
Does anyone have any tips on surviving social occasions without alcohol. I am newly sober and looking for all the help I can get. I know I have a problem and if I keep binge drinking at the rate I have been for the past 13 years, the future won't be too good. I have not attended any meetings.
Thanks in advance.
Does anyone have any tips on surviving social occasions without alcohol. I am newly sober and looking for all the help I can get. I know I have a problem and if I keep binge drinking at the rate I have been for the past 13 years, the future won't be too good. I have not attended any meetings.
Thanks in advance.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Get a non alcoholic drink as soon as you arrive, so no one is tempted to offer you something else.
Practice saying "no, thanks" before you go.
Be prepared to leave immediately if the cravings start to become too strong.
Bring a sober friend with you if possible, and/or have some one to call if you need some support.
Last, don't drink.
Practice saying "no, thanks" before you go.
Be prepared to leave immediately if the cravings start to become too strong.
Bring a sober friend with you if possible, and/or have some one to call if you need some support.
Last, don't drink.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Also, what do you mean by "social occasions"? If you mean a wedding or a legitimate event, then that is one thing. However, if you mean going to a bar for the night with a bunch of friends who will be getting drunk, then EndGame has much better advice.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 6
Thanks for the replies. Last year I stopped drinking for a month and I found Friday nights after work the most difficult. I just hope it gets easier as I'm very determined to do this.
I appreciate you replying to me. This is all new to me.
I appreciate you replying to me. This is all new to me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 6
I meant the latter, going out with friends.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Hi
Welcome to our family, it nice having you here.
I have over 540 days without an alcoholic drink.
The following helped me
1. Always have a glass of something non alcoholic in your hand, so no-one if forced to get you a drink that might be alcoholic.
2. Don't worry at all what people say to you if you are not drinking. Just say 'I don't want to', 'I have given up for a month', 'I am on antibiotics' so I can't drink. Most people will say okay. The people that are persistent probably have problems too.
3. When people are 4 or 5 drinks in, no-one will care or notice you are not drinking. We (meaning people like me and you and the rest of us here) build it up to be more a big deal than it is.
4. You will see how other people really drink at parties, weddings, christening's etc. I was amazed that no-one got blackout drunk. Some people had 2 glasses then moved on to soft drinks. Some people were actually there to taste the food, not just drink themselves daft.
5. Give yourself a job to do. I used to nominate myself as chief photograph taker. I took lots of pictures and would give them as a gift it was someone's birthday, celebration etc.
6. I actually found that events, which are focused around booze, are actually quite boring when your sober. Drunk people are also really boring. They are loud, overly emotional and repeat themselves too much. I realised I drank probably to make them (parties and people) more interesting.
7. I would 'play the tape the whole way through'. By this I mean I would think at the start of the evening, if I drink what will happen? How will I be tomorrow?
I know that I would most likely get blackout drunk, fall over, make a fool of myself, ruin my clothes, spend the next three to five days avoiding people from the party in case I said something bad to them while drunk and they were angry at me. I would hate myself for about 1 week after.
This is where this slogan helped me
' I have regretted drinking many, many times. I have never, ever regretted NOT drinking'.
Does that ring any bells with you?
8. I learnt over the years that even if I promised myself to only have 2/4/6 drinks, the minute I had that first drink, all good intentions went out of the window. I learnt it was not the 7th or 8th drink that got me drunk, it was just having that first one. Having that one first drink, all resolve would fly out of the window, and I would most likely blackout and wake up swearing never, ever again.
9, I became quite angry about the hold alcohol has over people. It was not just a 'few drinks' for me or a toast glass of champagne. When I found this forum and read all I did about the dangers of alcohol addiction, i felt sad that sometimes the only way we know is to celebrate with a drink. Even if it is a 1st birthday. Even if it is a funeral. Even if it is when someone passed their driving test.
I got to the point that I could find reason to 'celebrate' everyday. Yeah it has not rained today, lets have a drink. I have done all the ironing, lets have a drink. My bus turned up on time, lets have a drink.
Perhaps reading here might change how you view alcohol and binge drinking.
I hope this gives you some help.
I wish you the best xx
Welcome to our family, it nice having you here.
I have over 540 days without an alcoholic drink.
The following helped me
1. Always have a glass of something non alcoholic in your hand, so no-one if forced to get you a drink that might be alcoholic.
2. Don't worry at all what people say to you if you are not drinking. Just say 'I don't want to', 'I have given up for a month', 'I am on antibiotics' so I can't drink. Most people will say okay. The people that are persistent probably have problems too.
3. When people are 4 or 5 drinks in, no-one will care or notice you are not drinking. We (meaning people like me and you and the rest of us here) build it up to be more a big deal than it is.
4. You will see how other people really drink at parties, weddings, christening's etc. I was amazed that no-one got blackout drunk. Some people had 2 glasses then moved on to soft drinks. Some people were actually there to taste the food, not just drink themselves daft.
5. Give yourself a job to do. I used to nominate myself as chief photograph taker. I took lots of pictures and would give them as a gift it was someone's birthday, celebration etc.
6. I actually found that events, which are focused around booze, are actually quite boring when your sober. Drunk people are also really boring. They are loud, overly emotional and repeat themselves too much. I realised I drank probably to make them (parties and people) more interesting.
7. I would 'play the tape the whole way through'. By this I mean I would think at the start of the evening, if I drink what will happen? How will I be tomorrow?
I know that I would most likely get blackout drunk, fall over, make a fool of myself, ruin my clothes, spend the next three to five days avoiding people from the party in case I said something bad to them while drunk and they were angry at me. I would hate myself for about 1 week after.
This is where this slogan helped me
' I have regretted drinking many, many times. I have never, ever regretted NOT drinking'.
Does that ring any bells with you?
8. I learnt over the years that even if I promised myself to only have 2/4/6 drinks, the minute I had that first drink, all good intentions went out of the window. I learnt it was not the 7th or 8th drink that got me drunk, it was just having that first one. Having that one first drink, all resolve would fly out of the window, and I would most likely blackout and wake up swearing never, ever again.
9, I became quite angry about the hold alcohol has over people. It was not just a 'few drinks' for me or a toast glass of champagne. When I found this forum and read all I did about the dangers of alcohol addiction, i felt sad that sometimes the only way we know is to celebrate with a drink. Even if it is a 1st birthday. Even if it is a funeral. Even if it is when someone passed their driving test.
I got to the point that I could find reason to 'celebrate' everyday. Yeah it has not rained today, lets have a drink. I have done all the ironing, lets have a drink. My bus turned up on time, lets have a drink.
Perhaps reading here might change how you view alcohol and binge drinking.
I hope this gives you some help.
I wish you the best xx
Hi and welcome Noki
I was a people pleaser and a fitter inner - social occasions were always the places I slipped up.
There's some great suggestions here, but what I did was turn down invites for a while to those parties or events where I knew booze would be flowing.
I figured there would be other parties or get togethers...but I wasn't sure I'd make it to see them if I kept drinking
My old life was swimming in booze. I needed to make a break from my old life.
I took some time out and I'm glad I did - I think thats a major reason why I'm still sober today many years on.
I needed to wait until I was sure I could remain sober anywhere, with anyone.
Doesn't mean you need to be a hermit - there's a lot of things you can do that don't involve alcohol
D
I was a people pleaser and a fitter inner - social occasions were always the places I slipped up.
There's some great suggestions here, but what I did was turn down invites for a while to those parties or events where I knew booze would be flowing.
I figured there would be other parties or get togethers...but I wasn't sure I'd make it to see them if I kept drinking
My old life was swimming in booze. I needed to make a break from my old life.
I took some time out and I'm glad I did - I think thats a major reason why I'm still sober today many years on.
I needed to wait until I was sure I could remain sober anywhere, with anyone.
Doesn't mean you need to be a hermit - there's a lot of things you can do that don't involve alcohol
D
lots of amazing suggestions here. i know a lot of people treat Friday and Saturday night as Bar Night. perhaps you could suggest another activity? you like yoga? maybe you could find a yoga studio that meets on Fridays or Saturdays and invite some of your friends to join. how about a movie night? game night? some people might drink through a game but it's easier to stay sober with a game to play. the thing is, look for activities where alcohol just won't fit in or where it will be the supporting player and not the star of the show. it'll take come creativity and maybe a little convincing on your side but if it works, the effort is well worth it! if you can't convince anyone to join you, a night of yoga with some new people is a good excuse for why you can't go out drinking. good luck!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Noki, there are some great suggestions here.
I have only been to a few events with alcohol and have made sure I know what I planned to drink when I got there and that it's something I don't normally have at home, so it's a refreshing treat.
I had soda water with fresh lime and lemon last night at a party...which sounds perhaps boring, but I don't have fizzy drinks at home, so I really enjoyed it.
To Sashas point 9...I really observed that yes, the party was really about drinking and perhaps drugs for some...and yes, once people have had a few, they really don't notice if you are drinking or not.
Friday nights are getting easier, and I realise the only thing I'm missing out on is a huge hangover, half my Saturday gone...and a lighter wallet. There's lots of adjustments to make from such ingrained habits, and new friends to be made by choosing healthier activities.
I have only been to a few events with alcohol and have made sure I know what I planned to drink when I got there and that it's something I don't normally have at home, so it's a refreshing treat.
I had soda water with fresh lime and lemon last night at a party...which sounds perhaps boring, but I don't have fizzy drinks at home, so I really enjoyed it.
To Sashas point 9...I really observed that yes, the party was really about drinking and perhaps drugs for some...and yes, once people have had a few, they really don't notice if you are drinking or not.
Friday nights are getting easier, and I realise the only thing I'm missing out on is a huge hangover, half my Saturday gone...and a lighter wallet. There's lots of adjustments to make from such ingrained habits, and new friends to be made by choosing healthier activities.
Get a non alcoholic drink as soon as you arrive, so no one is tempted to offer you something else.
Practice saying "no, thanks" before you go.
Be prepared to leave immediately if the cravings start to become too strong.
Bring a sober friend with you if possible, and/or have some one to call if you need some support.
Last, don't drink.
Practice saying "no, thanks" before you go.
Be prepared to leave immediately if the cravings start to become too strong.
Bring a sober friend with you if possible, and/or have some one to call if you need some support.
Last, don't drink.
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