Acheleus

So....I went out with some people in my program, and they went to a bar. I ordered cranberry juice and then cokes, alternating for a while. My tab was one dollar and fifty cents. Tomorrow they want me to come over to the house for a pool party. I think I am testing faith. I still have my white chip and tomorrow is seven days of sobriety.


DRUNK PEOPLE SUCK!!!!

I never knew how empty and stupid the conversation of drunks was. So I just returned from the wasps nest unscathed. Some advice is needed. I am going to read for my classes then go to bed. I feel like I messed up but I DID NOT DRINK. They thought I was drinking, but I did not drink.

pinkdog

Good job acheleus, You didn't drink. That is the bottomline. Don't drink tomorrow either. If they start getting too out of control, just leave early. Well done. Keep going dear.

Nuudawn

Good job Ach. Um..I thought you hated everyone in your program? I feel pretty good about my sobriety strength for the most part..but man, the thought of sitting around a bar with people drinking to get drunk...people I didn't now well...gives me the heebies. I have been in a bar in my sobriety and been around people having a couple drinks but these were people I knew well..and knew me well..and that I liked.

I dunno buddy..I dunno

Acheleus

Thanks pinkdog. Nuudawn I have never received meds for my anxiety and depression, but I think I finally have a glimmer of what it might mean to be normal. Maybe I do not like people in my program. All they did was sit around and gossip with one another. They tote news, as my mama used to say. But I think I really changed something in my brain the last time I drank. They did not even wonder about my drink. Thanks guys. Tomirrow I will study and work on my class and teaching stuff. Teaching gives me confidence. Scared but proud I did not drink.

Acheleus

Staying away from social stuff from now on. I need to work on me.

Dee74

edit: I think thats a good choice for now.

I had to make some tough calls to stay sober Ach.

All I know is I couldn't have been hanging around in bars and at pool parties, especially when I was struggling.

I know you're lonely, and I know you want to fit in - but what I think you have there is either a recipe for relapse or a recipe for misery.

There's got to be other people to hang with or other things to do with your free time?

D

Acheleus

There is a young peoples AA meeting tomorrow down the street from my apt. That might be a good place to start. I cannot tell these people I am an alcoholic, but when I tell them I cannot hang out I think they see me as being stuck up. But my sobriety is more important than them. Thank you Dee. This is so hard in a college town where drinking is so prevalent.

rAAt

You may benefit from a book titled "living sober" it has tips on what to do in early sobriety.

Hanging around with people who drink is just another form of denial.

seanie1888

I agree stay away for a while
You and your sobriety is much more important
A meeting is a good idea, tell how you are feeling
I wish you well

mecanix

Last week as a reward for dealing with a large fire a year ago our company put £250 behind the bar at a local pub as a thankyou , between 7 or 8 people ...

I skipped it , i knew the main focus would be on drinking , knowing the people i work with like i do .

I felt i missed out a bit on the silly shenanigans BUT (and this is a big but ) i didn't miss out on the confusion , the lack of control , the being a long way from home not being able to drive , the hangovers everone else had the next day ...

I drove home in my big mercedes convertible, finishing an hour early, the roof down, my favorite music playing , i got home and was able to talk to my family coherently , make a nice dinner , have a laugh with friends online , watch a nice film and was in bed before midnight so i could be bright the next day ...

What i'm trying to get over is although i'm coming up to 2 years sober , i still tread carefully .. i saw the exit ramp and took it and had a good evening . If i had gone to the pub and hung round with drinkers i'd have made myself feel excluded and although taking part in the "fun" would have felt more excluded being sober there than just not going in the first place .. also by being there i think peer pressure might have played a hand .

The choices are always there and i always choose to make them these days ,

Bestwishes, m

hayley86

Well done on not drinking last night. I think that you have made the best choice in deciding to stay away from social events where drinking is involved in the short term. Not wishing to take away from the fact that you were able to go and abstain but why put yourself under such unnecessary pressure?. I avoided all social situations like going for nights out with friends for the first couple of months because i would have just found it too tough. I did not need to make my life any more difficult than it already was.

Don't worry about what other people may or may not think about you not drinking. Its often us who pays much more attention to our new sober behavior than them. How great that you will be a week sober today?. Keep focused on your teaching, meetings and getting well for now. Your well being should be your priority. Social events will still be there when you are strong enough to cope and not second guess yourself. I think you are making continued good choices.

Acheleus

Thank you guys. Seven days sober and smoke free. Now to do some laundry and read after I rest some. I felt so scared last night that I would drink. Staying on my own for my own good.

Olive1

You are doing well, Acheleus!
You should be very proud of yourself!

hayley86

Congratulations on a week sober and cigarette free. Feeling scared that you may drink speaks volumes. I think sticking to what you said and avoiding any places or people that may be a trigger for now is a good plan. No need to be scared if you do that. You always have a choice. Keep making the right ones. Have a great day.

Louise82

Well done on 1 week! I think you're definitely doing the right thing in staying away from the pool party and deciding to go to the young person's meeting.

Acheleus

Well I went for a long walk, did laundry, and went for a swim. Man. I love waking up without hangovers.

Eleni58

Ach, even the AA Big Book says an alcoholic should not purposely avoid or isolate themselves from situations where other people are drinking. The only caveat to that is that you have a LEGITIMATE reason for being in that situation--not just going to the bar for the sake of going to the bar.

I have 30 days today and I have yet to go to a bar with anyone. The only time I got close to a bar was when I went out to eat with my boyfriend at a bar/restaurant and the food was served in a separate section so you couldn't see the bar. Even when I was drinking, I found bars extremely boring. Why watch TV on a tiny screen in a darkened bar where no smoking is allowed when I can watch TV on a 50 inch screen in the comfort of my own home and be able to smoke?

Nighthawk8820

I remember the first time I went out to the clubs without alcohol. People were okay til around midnight, when they started getting sloppy. The conversations were annoying, repetitive, and BAD breath. I had to go home, lol, but it was a learning experience. I was just like them when drunk, maybe even worse.

Acheleus

Yes they were boring and annoying. I all of a sudden started feeling bad a few minutes ago, not really sure why. It is only day 7 but I do see how much alcohol has dictated my path in life, my zero friends, and bad relationships.

But this is a new day and I am going to read then walk again tonight for a few hours, listening to some positive music and appreciating my life. The people I hung out with last night talk about each other a lot. They criticize one another, gossip, and I just feel a lot of negative energy coming from them. Anyway, going to meeting then will finish reading. Thank you everyone.

bigsombrero

I think the opera is boring. If my friends went to the opera, I wouldn't think of tagging along. Throw in and endless supply of booze in the seats and I couldn't think of any reason to attend in a million years. If it's boring, annoying, and there's liquor everywhere, why are you attending these functions? What are you trying to prove?