Shiek

It has been a while since I posted on here, I left and kicked out my exbf who was HEAVILY addicted to crack because I had had enough and it was time to let it go a few months ago, I have been doing fine, but tonight....I got a bout of OBSCENE texts from him, I thought I had blocked him? I guess somehow the phone unblocked him, anywho, I won't go into great detail, but it was pretty hideous to read because I wasn't sure who it was from at first but I soon realized, he told me he wished death upon me, that my future children get sick and die and that he was having intimates with many people....why would this matter to me? Why would the addict who single handedly unraveled the relationship and admitted it and reaped what he sowed lash out at me months later and out of nowhere? Also all the texts show up on one screen so it was a little hard to not half read them all when I clicked "read message". Anyways, I said not interested in listening to you become unhinged and made sure to block him again. I know a little of psychology but it always bewilders me none the less why some people think it's OK to talk to others like this, but then again I am sure he is high right now and not in his right mind, but when is he ever? Has anyone else had an ex/family/friend who they are 100% no longer with or involved with make contact with them and become vulgar a long period after the separation? And why do they do this?

Cheers

Leahmarie9

Oh gossssh I have been there! It's because theyve realized what they lost. It's because I was the person that lashed out. I was heavily snorting coke drinking every night just partying thinking I was having fun then my bf at the time told me I was wild to wild that to call him once I got my priorities in check. I called him...about 3 weeks later, high as a kite and drunk as a skunk. He sounded excited when he answered I was furious I got into a fight with my mother almost got fired for being late on account of my hangover at work and there he was happy with his new ugly date all over Facebook ga ga over this college girl it made me so mad because I was in denial of my own problems in reality I wasn't worthy if being his gf. So I called bashed his man parts told him his mother was a pig (she steered him away from me) told him I hope his new gf cheats and that he'll need me 1 day. Welp he cried slightly hung up blocked my number removed me off all social media sights and avoided me like crazy at school. I recovered focused on school. We made up 1 day to find out he's getting married this October (she's still not thattttt cute LOL) either way







YOU'RE DOING PHENOMENAL KEEP HIM BLOCKED 4 everrrrrr *evil laugh* MWHAHAHA

allforcnm

Haven't had it happen, but I think it is because he is not over you, or maybe something reminded him of you and stirred up feelings all the sudden. As the other poster said; he is lashing out in anger because he knows you are 100% over him. Its all he's got, and he may very well have been high when he did it.
Good thing you blocked him immediately; you don't need those kinds of texts coming your way.

jerect

In answer to your question YES!! My ex husband texted me a picture of him and his new girlfriend and told me that he was happier then ever and that he was so glad I was no longer a part of his life.. Sigh; that makes two of us lol... He wanted a response so I gave him one.. Silence.. Blocked his number and have gotten two more texts since then from him from a different numbers.. Pre-paid phones are hell to go NC with lol...

I really don't care what my ex does or doesn't feel, any man in a happy relationship or stage of his life wouldn't be texting his ex pictures of him and his new girlfriend or saying the things he said to me...

I just laughed at his text and realized that nothing had changed with him, if anything it just gave me more reinforcement that divorcing him was the best decision I have ever made..

Ann

Shiek, if he lives anywhere near you, it might be wise to report that to the police before you erase. It's a threat, and it doesn't matter that he was high when he sent it, if he's usually high then who knows what he might do. It alarms me most that he sent this long after the split date...unless, I misread this and these are old texts just coming through now because the block came off.

Stay safe, be glad he is gone, and keep moving forward.

Hugs

Seren

I'm sorry you had to be subjected to that!

On a practical note, my cell phone carrier only lets you block numbers for a few months at a time...then the block drops off again. Frustrating, I know, but you may have to check your carrier's website and remind yourself every so often to keep putting his number back on the list.

lizwig

Thanks hydrogurl, that it's exactly the advice I was going to give. Verizon blocks for 90 days. And let's you block up to 5 numbers for free. I set myself a task to go back in every 85 days of so and 're-restrict". What an awful thing for you to go through. I suppose it just reinforces how much this guy needs to stay in your rear view mirror. Like Ann suggests...I would report to the police, if something were to happen down the road or if you ever need more ammo they'd have previous events listed. Hang in there.

atalose

The mind of an active addict changes moment to moment, hour to hour, day to day. One minute they are filled with remorse, guilt and begging for forgiveness, the next it’s anger and blame………trying to figure it out is futile cause in the long run does it really matter to us once we have gotten out……….yes, if we are still attached to that situation and person somehow.

Cutting those emotional ties is difficult……they pull on those strings when they can……….it’s our job NOT to allow their stuff back into our thoughts for too long otherwise it’s like getting sucked into the tornado all over again.

Keep the persons number blocked, set reminders, change your phone number do what ever you must do for yourself and your relationship recovery.

Addiction and codependency are diseases of thoughts. Much like the addict if the thought of using sits long enough they will use. When codependents think to long of the addict they will go back as well.

Good vent, block the number again and change your thoughts to how well you are doing! What a great job you are doing moving on! How much YOU don’t want or need this person back in your life!

Kindeyes

I (unfortunately) gave my XAH the opportunity to do that to me a couple of years ago. It was sad really. We were divorced over 30 years ago and he's been carrying this anger, resentment, and self loathing all of this time......eating him up from the inside out. We made an attempt to communicate due to our son's addiction (my XAH was the person who introduced my son to drugs at a tender age). XAH got my phone number and began serial texting.....this went on for about three days (15-20 texts per day).....I couldn't figure out how to block him so I simply changed my phone number....problem solved.

It's ok to feel compassion from a distance. I can't have any contact with my XAH....just like when we were married......his addiction and the associated behaviors are simply too big. I wish him well and simply want to be left in peace.

Addiction is a cunning and baffling disease and unfortunately some people never recover. Just be glad that you made a decision to take care of you.....and pray that someday....your AXBF will find his way to recovery.

gentle hugs
ke

Shiek

Thank you everyone for your kind words and support, I really appreciate all your responses, I am going to keep on ignoring him and not let what I read last night get to me, there is nothing I can do for this person while they are in active addiction and unfortunately they seem to always have been addicted to one thing or another so I think my decision to remove myself from the situation entirely months ago was the right one. I hope everyone is doing well and staying strong.

Cheers and Hugs