ah18

Tonight i went out.. its been two weeks since i actually went out. A night just for my and my life instead of worrying about my sisters life.. Tonight was not a good night. . I had the thought. Alcohol. Alcohol will make it right, Alcohol will make my mind at ease.. Will put my thoughts to rest..

Not to long ago about 5 or 6 months ago.. i used to drink everyday. Id wake up every morning & think.. lets drink today, lets start the day off with a shot of Captin Morgan's, lets be wreckless today. I was starting to become an alcoholic.. I even got myself kicked out of school because alcohol came first, School didnt matter.. all that mattered was alcohol.. Just that one look at a bottle my thoughts said " Lets have it! " , " I want it " , and " I need it " .. My friends didnt help, they were the same as me.. Drinking everyday, forgetting about school.. getting theirselves kicked out of school too.. It was us three, out of school. drinking everyday.. but then one day.. it all changed, i got myself back into school. stopped drinking. even got myself to graduated. I was proud. I was proud i could make such a change. I was proud i have made my mom proud because in her eyes.. she didnt want me to end up like her.. she didnt care about school, shes a drop out..

Tonight was not a good night.. i had those alcoholic thoughts.. just drink a bottle, put your mind at ease.. worry about yourself... just drink untill your numb.. just drink till nothing else matters.. I feel all this stress a drink would take the pain away.. PAIN, such a small word but means so much..
I thought i was doing good today, i thought.. even looking at my tattoo, i think to myself.. Do I have the strength ? , Do i have the strength for my sister ? Do i have hope for my sister ? ... Those alcoholic thoughts... they KILL..

Kindeyes

Ride the wave....it will pass.
gentle hugs
ke

Leahmarie9

I don't want to hurt your feelings but prove everyone wrong price the world wrong show US you don't need alcohol to get through this!!! You're amazing smart I can't even imagine how beautiful you are! Don't ruin your progress.

I always try to remember this saying: imagine how hard it has been to change yourself, think how hard it could be to change someone else.

It's impossible to change a person although your sisters struggling and she may have her own reasons she justifies daily don't let your mother worry for both of you. She will come around when she's good and ready. For the time being go out dancing not drinking! Go out for you sistahhhh!!!