Back Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 167
Well I fell hard last month and have been boozing pretty much nightly ever since. I want to try again. I'm noticing more and more cognitive and emotional effects and I truly hate myself for it. I made it 15 days last time before giving into a celebratory beer. The next night I was back to finishing a six pack. Don't really know what else to say.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
I'm glad you made it back because unfortunately there is no guarantees to get back. Over the years I've seen far too many who never made it back and are now gone permanently. It's the reason I'm not soft and warm regarding this horrendous disease we will always have. Hang in there even if you want to drink. BE WELL
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Glad you are back. I also noticed that each time I went back to drinking, it got worse and worse, and it took less time to get bad every time. Like they say, it's a progressive thing so hope you can make this time stick. Best of luck and don't be a stranger round here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 167
Thanks everyone. Dee, I honestly don't know. I guess I'm open to suggestions. I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I'm terrified of social interaction. I've always been nervous to speak and share with others. I spent 28 days in a duel diagnostic inpatient program about 5 years ago and it was complete hell. I've been dealing with mental illness since childhood and now with addiction everything that was difficult seems impossible. I guess the point I'm trying to make is getting out of the house and into an AA meeting scares me to death. I feel so overwhelmed. Am I just making excuses? It's hard to trust my feelings and judgements at this point. Sorry for rambling.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I'm not qualified to judge if you're making excuses 
I do think you need to do something different tho - if you have dual diagnosis then it makes sense to me to tackle both those things.
Do you have a p-doc?
I think nearly every recovery programme has an online meeting option....not only AA but SMART and lifering too....other programmes, like Rational Recovery, have no meetings at all.
I think you did pretty well when you were posting regularly here too...so I think there are things you could do?
D
I do think you need to do something different tho - if you have dual diagnosis then it makes sense to me to tackle both those things.
Do you have a p-doc?
I think nearly every recovery programme has an online meeting option....not only AA but SMART and lifering too....other programmes, like Rational Recovery, have no meetings at all.
I think you did pretty well when you were posting regularly here too...so I think there are things you could do?
D
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