Family and addiction
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 212
Family and addiction
Hi all! Hope everyone is happy and healthy. 10 days sober for me and going strong!
I've been thinking about family, addiction, and some of my resentments.
My family consists of My mother who is an alcoholic, my father and my brother and his wife. They have no children. The rest of my family I never see. Reason being, when an older person dies in our family...we don't stick together, we fall apart. I never wanted to have anything to do with that, and I tried to stay out of it, but if I visit one person they gossip about the other.
So I stay away from everyone besides my parents and brother.
My husbands family is huge, and very close. And most of them are addicts, or condone addict and abusive behavior. My husband would not care if we ever saw any of them, including his mom and brothers.
I have 5 children who see one aunt and one uncle. They see my mother and father maybe once a mo. They see no cousins.
My oldest daughter stated the other day that we really have no family. That makes me sad.
I guess what I'm wondering is, am I hurting my children because I am not making a bigger effort being around these people?
Now that I am sober and working on a healthy life and mind, I really don't want my kids around these people. I don't know what the right thing to do is?
My husband and I were talking about the future and we were both looking forward to the day when we become grandparent, have all are kids and grandkids over and no one being a hot abusive mess because of drugs or alcohol. Wow, what a dream! But, it is something we have never had.
God willing that's how it turns out! I just want to make sure my kids know the value of family, even though they are never around there family. If that makes sense.
Thanks for listening
I've been thinking about family, addiction, and some of my resentments.
My family consists of My mother who is an alcoholic, my father and my brother and his wife. They have no children. The rest of my family I never see. Reason being, when an older person dies in our family...we don't stick together, we fall apart. I never wanted to have anything to do with that, and I tried to stay out of it, but if I visit one person they gossip about the other.
So I stay away from everyone besides my parents and brother.
My husbands family is huge, and very close. And most of them are addicts, or condone addict and abusive behavior. My husband would not care if we ever saw any of them, including his mom and brothers.
I have 5 children who see one aunt and one uncle. They see my mother and father maybe once a mo. They see no cousins.
My oldest daughter stated the other day that we really have no family. That makes me sad.
I guess what I'm wondering is, am I hurting my children because I am not making a bigger effort being around these people?
Now that I am sober and working on a healthy life and mind, I really don't want my kids around these people. I don't know what the right thing to do is?
My husband and I were talking about the future and we were both looking forward to the day when we become grandparent, have all are kids and grandkids over and no one being a hot abusive mess because of drugs or alcohol. Wow, what a dream! But, it is something we have never had.
God willing that's how it turns out! I just want to make sure my kids know the value of family, even though they are never around there family. If that makes sense.
Thanks for listening
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Teaching family values can take place even if there's nothing more than your immediate family. I come from a very small family and the nearest sibling/parent/grandparent is over 3 hours drive. Most of my wife's family lives halfway across the country.
IMHO there is no shame whatsoever in avoiding some family members because of their addictive or abusive lifestyles, especially if they practice those traits in front of your children.
IMHO there is no shame whatsoever in avoiding some family members because of their addictive or abusive lifestyles, especially if they practice those traits in front of your children.
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