JAC13

Hi Guys!

Hope this post you all doing ok?

Well, it's my day 5 again, 3rd this year I think. I have been really trying, eg not drinking for a while then the old AV comes along and I end up having 2 glasses of wine. Most I have had on a binge this year is half a bottle of red. My husband keeps saying to not beat myself up as I keep trying.

Anyway, I am on my day 5 again but feel lousy this morning, minimal anxiety, but I feel sick and just not with it. I am not going to drink today, got loads to do, not stressful though.

Any advice experiences or just support would be great.

Jackie xx

Amajorityofone

My advice?

After 368 consecutive days of 100% sobriety in a row, and I say this with love, there is no "try."

There is only do, or do not.

Realize this, and you will find strength.

Good luck and God Bless

Lionhearted1

2 glasses of wine?? half a bottle of red on a binge?? if I could maintain that for 7 months I don't think I would be posting on here!! my binges are bottles of wine 3 plus and what ever else I can get down my throat!! I think your husband is right you are way to hard on yourself!!!!

Lovemyworld

Just keep trying......... it is like giving up smoking..... just keep trying and one day it will all fall into line... well that is what I tell myself anyway

JAC13

Thanks for your responses guys. I was drinking a bottle a night up until August 2012, something happened and I became aware of the potential problem that I had. Well, maybe not a bottle a night but defo 4 times a week.

During the past year looking back I seemed to have battled with this. There is so much going round in my head re drink that I don't feel free if that makes sense? I changed my lifestyle which has been productive. Do you think it's because I haven't got my mind round to stopping completely? Your thoughts and experiences are really appreciated.

Jackie xx

Dee74

Hi JAC

I believe it's not actually the amount thats important...I think it's more how your drinking makes you feel - for some of us one or two glasses is enough to keep us enslaved and keep our minds foggy and our will weak.

It wasn't until I stopped drinking completely that I realised what a hold alcohol had on me and the way I thought. It was so sneaky I really had no idea.

I feel confident in suggesting you'll feel better in yourself if you gave it up completely Jackie

D

Croissant

Hi Jackie, I agree with what you've said, half a bottle doesn't sound like much, BUT...just the fact it's worrying you I think means you are worried about what it will lead to.....you've already said you are capable of drinking a bottle in one night on a regular basis.

I am lucky in some ways, I pretty much wasn't interested in alcohol until I was in my early thirties. I was the person we all wish we were, in that I'd have one drink on Christmas Day or New Year (if that), I think maybe a couple out with friends....I don't even remember drinking on my wedding night. I just didn't see the point of drinking more for me, personally....why would I want to lose control, I didn't like the taste...it just held no appeal. I cling to those memories now in my sobriety, that I can laugh, have fun and not feel 'odd' for not drinking. We all can!

The in between bits are a long story on why I started abusing alcohol, but fast forward and I know honestly, drinking means getting drunk now for me. If I had one glass now, let alone half a bottle, I'd be scared as hell it would make me want more, which I suspect has happened to you. My ex partner used to be lovely to me when I failed too, but now I look back at my first sober month in over 10 years, if that half bottle of wine is scaring you, you have every right to be afraid.

Lionhearted1

sorry I was not trying to make your drinking sound irrelevant, but the uk guidelines are 5 drinks plus equals a binge... I agree with dee its not always about quantity and more the effect and how it makes you feel.!!

JAC13

Guys

I am so grateful for all this feedback, it means a lot to me. I also never drank really until my early 30's then went mad (I have never blacked out though) my big problem was the anxiety it all caused. I have anxiety when I do drink, BAD anxiety even just after a couple of wines over 3 days and it is only a couple, I also have minor anxiety when I don't drink. Sometimes I think that the start of the heavy drinking really did it for me in my head, oh dear

I always seem to be looking for answers.

Jackie xx

Marcher13

Yep so did I Jackie, I kept looking for answers and moderation. When I decided and committed to not drink everything fell into place and I found the answer had been there all the time. I wish you well.

silentrun

+1 You quit because you know something isn't right with your drinking right? I kept going after I knew something was wrong. It has taken me 6 months to come back mentally. You don't sound like you went very far down that road. You are a lot smarter than me. There is nothing good down there.

longbeachone

I went through a period where I drank one regular sized bottle of red a night, and felt very prim and proud for my minimal intake. The funny thing was that I would spend an hour a day in Trader Joe's trying to find the wine with the highest alcohol content! (I think 18% was the highest I ever got). Games people play...

JAC13

Thanks everyone. I know I won't drink today so I will be past my 5 days. What the rest of the next few weeks brings I don't know, but today I wont be drinking.

I have developed a sweet tooth over the past 6 months though, not for chocolate but sweets (candy)!

I think I just feel down today as my day 5 is pretty miserable

jazzfish

I believe the UK guidelines are that over 5 "units" (not drinks) in session is a binge. The UK defines a unit as 8 oz, so that would be about a pint and a half of 4% beer.

Croissant

I wish, Id stopped sooner Smarter. No, I drank heavily for the past 10 years. But yes, I knew 18 months into drinking, and those half bottles were edging up to full bottles.... something bad had a hold of me. I just blamed everyone else around me for being uptight and killjoys. The most I stopped was for 2 weeks, I think at that 18 month mark when I got scared (then promptly kidded myself and my ex if I could stop for 2 weeks, I was fine). Then another 2 weeks about 2005. Then 1 week in 2011, to fool myself I could moderate if I wanted to. When I read this back, it's crazy to think this was me. (I just had a little cry.)

4 weeks ago I called in sick for work...(I'm lucky to have skated on the edge of them not knowing I am alcoholic...I work in a boozy culture)...and something...just got a hold of me and I was ready to face I'd lost complete control of my life. That was the 26th of July and I haven't had a drink since.

I wanted to find out who the person was that i was meant to be when I was that non drinking 30 year old.

Croissant

Sorry Silentrun....my iPad predictive texted your name as 'Smarter!'

Croissant

I am glad you aren't drinking today! X

I feel like poo too, but I'm glad we all aren't drinking today and that is a bonus.

silentrun

Yup 10 years. That's how long it took for me. Before that I turned 35 I couldn't even physically get drunk without getting sick. Somehow my body adapted.

JAC13

I think I should just stop thinking guys, it's giving me headache. I do however think though that when I don't allow booze it my life, it opens a door to everything the booze was keeping under control!

I have just eaten 2 choc bars though which has given me a bit of energy

Xx

Anna

Anxiety was a huge issue for me, too. I struggled with it long before I began drinking and ironically the drinking made it so much worse. Know that you can get through Day 5 and that's what will make you stronger.