Saeriemarie

So over the past few days I've spent a lot of time reading through posts and trying to gather as much information as possible. I've found a lot of useful posts but thought it can't hurt to post about my specific situation. So here it goes...

I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 20. We have been together three months. And yes, I'm aware that this is a really short amount of time to be willing to put up with drug addiction and that I'm
too young and have my whole life ahead of me to find the right guy. I've heard it all and I know it's going to be hell. That's not why I'm writing this post. I'm hoping to gain some insight on what to expect over the next however many months.

My boyfriend has never been secretive about his past. One of the first things he told me when we started dating was that he used to be addicted to meth. He said he should've gone to rehab when it got bad, but instead he just locked himself in the house and only left for work until he was clean. So going into the relationship I knew there was a chance of relapse. Well after two months of dating he told me he's addicted to suboxone and has been for six months. He's going to an addiction therapist. He's only told his family and me.

We've had multiple conversations about everything. He thought I would leave when I found out and he didn't want to involve me in this ****. I know most people would run, but that thought didn't cross my mind. He's told me that he's scared, embarrasses, and ashamed. He hates his life in that he's let himself become this person. He's told me that his withdrawals can last up to 4 months.

I know it's going to be hell and its going to probably be the most difficult thing ill have to deal with. I'm just curious as to how bad should I expect it to get. How common will relapse be and if it happens what are the signs to look for and how to we move past it if it does happen. Are there things I should or shouldn't do/look for? He shoots it, so what will the injection site look like if he's using vs. not using. A lot of questions, I know.

I think he may have already relapsed because I haven't heard from him since yesterday morning. This is what he did a lot during what I call hell month where the drugs took over. He was good for 3 weeks before this (besides feeling like **** from withdrawals).

Hopefully I can get some answers so I can be a little better prepared for what I'm about to be dealing with.

heatherp78

Thanks for sharing your story everybody here has gone through similar situations as far as withdrawal is concerned Im not sure my husbands drug of choice was coke so Im only aware of that, sending you hugs x

DoubleBarrel

Relapse is just an excuse.

Unless he is actively doing SOMETHING to improve his worldview, personality, or causes for becoming an addict, he's just LYING to himself and to you.

Locking yourself in a room to get clean might work, but whats he doing after that point?

Has he ever explained a PLAN?

Are any of your parents alcoholics by any chance? It might help you to read up on codependency.

And yes, I know you probably have heard it and aren't going to listen, but if you were my daughter, I would tell you to RUN THE HELL AWAY.

jerect

I second this

RUN FAR FAR AWAY!!!!

I'm going to be really honest and tell you what you can expect.. Expect to be lied to daily, expect to be cheated on, stolen from and days and days of no contact from him.. Expect that your whole purpose in life will be trying to get him clean or to at least control the amount of drugs that he is using.. How do I know this? Because I was married to an addict for 5 years.. I had such high hopes of things getting better but things just got worse..

My ex was addicted to suboxone for almost two years, he went to rehab to detox off of it and was back to using pills shortly after..

Your young and you have the whole world a your doorstep.. Please don't waste another minute with this guy unless you want a whole lot of heartache

allforcnm

I have never witnessed withdrawals from suboxone, but it he is working with an addiction therapist then with the doctors help he should be gradually tapered down to help minimize the symptoms. Probably the 4 months or so he is talking about. Many people are actually prescribed suboxone to help them get off of opiates. I have not heard of it being used for getting off meth...maybe someone else here knows about this. Subs can be used for maintenance (make people feel normal) or abused and can cause a high. So Im assuming he switched to subs from meth was injecting and getting high ??

My husband had a medical procedure to help him detox from opiates, never used subs, there wasn't much withdrawal on that. But he did experience symptoms from the benzos he took. He had anxiety, depression, was moody, and other physical complaints.

I think its important not to get too caught up in his emotional state because you don't want yours to become tied to his... hope that makes sense. You have a lot going on in your life, and that takes priority.

IMO he needs to work closely with his doctor to monitor the dosages, and he also needs the therapy he is getting to help him learn to cope with life without drugs, deal with past trauma or underlying issues, maybe cognitive therapy, understanding his triggers, and such. This is recovery work. My husband went to rehab, and then continued his care by working with a therapist, all good so far... but.. relapse does happen. I think part of how you view relapse depends on your thoughts on addiction. I think of it like a chronic medical illness. It can be put into complete remission, or it can have episodes of relapse that require additional treatment. Im going to attach a link to a site that might help answer some of your questions; relapse, treatment, and info for family and friends: HBO: Addiction