Acheleus

Just got back from doctor and got a new med for depression. Feeling tired but I have class soon then going to an afternoon AA meeting to find a sponsor. Have a great day everyone!

ACOAHappyNow

Great job!

hayley86

Congrats on day 5. I think you are making really positive steps with seeing your doctor, attending AA meetings and looking for a sponsor. Being proactive and committed to your recovery is so important. Stay strong and have a great day.

Nuudawn

I like the return of the check ins Acheleus : )

Louise82

Well done on day 5! Glad to see you taking positive action.

resolute50

Wow,you're putting the petal to the metal with recovery.
That's awesome.No looking back now!

HappyDestiny3

Awesome stuff.. Even if you just find a temporary sponsor for the time being..

Way to get going and get growing..

misterritter

Congrats, it takes a lot of courage to makes those kinds of changes. Changing meds, attending class, and finding a sponsor are great positive steps forward.

Amajorityofone

HELL YEAH! Congratulations!

less than ten hours left of this day.
Let's do this!

Acheleus

Home from class. Going to get a veggie plate from grocery store. Been eating too much fast food. Moody earlier but I tried to appear normal. Tired but do not know if the medicine is making me feel weird. I did talk in class but I felt incoherent. Felt the urge to drink earlier but I got right here on SR to read some great supportive posts. Thank you so much for helping me.

Linnie

So glad to see you back!! Congratulations on 5 days! You rule for having the courage to muscle through, get back on track and make some changes this time around. That takes a lot of self awareness and strength. You got this, Acheleus!

Acheleus

It was a speaker meeting where a woman celebrated her one year birthday. I read the preamble but I have never been to a speaker meeting, so I didn't walk up front and say I am so and so I'm an alki. Felt like an idiot, but I didn't stick around and talk to anyone. I felt like they all know each other and I just felt strange. Started my new meds and felt off all day. Eating now and then I will try to go for a walk and see if that will clear my head. Thank you all on SR and I hope everyone is well.

Gottalife

It's always a shame when a AA group forgets its primary purpose, to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. The number one thing a group should do is make sure a newcomer, such as yourself, is made to fell welcome.

I have been in meetings where I was unknown, and I was completely ignored before, during and after the meeting. One meeting had two medical students attending ( a really important opportunity to share the AA message with professionals) and they were ignored also. I talked to them after the meeting about AA, but none of the group came near. I could have been the man in the moon for all they new, talking to their important guests that they didn't know they had.

On the other hand I have been to many other meetings, including my own first meeting, where I was welcomed warmly and made to feel right at home.

I would suggest you try some other meetings. When you find one where you are noticed and made to feel welcome, perhaps that will be the group that can help you the most.

hayley86

The good thing about AA meetings is that everyone there is facing the same or a similar battle. Everyone will have been new at some point and probably felt awkward too. You shouldn't feel like an idiot. You should feel proud that are taking the necessary steps for your recovery. Even if they did all know each other (which they probably didn't) i bet they would have been glad to see a new person there.Sometimes people try lots of different meetings to find which one suits them best. Wishing you well.

Anna

I hope you feel better, Achelus. It sounds like you're taking action by going to the dr and changing your medication and going to a meeting, and that's very positive.

Acheleus

Yea I have been bouncing around a lot. I live in a college town and I am young, I tend to dress like some yuppie from Florida, and I think they don't take me seriously. Not sure if I am being weird or not though. Going for a long walk now to clear my head and try to look for the bats that live in the big tree down the street. Thanks guys.

hayley86

I wouldnt over think it. I doubt that the people at the meetings have formed any oppinions on you or your merit there. AA meetings are a mix of people from all walks of life. The fact that you have taken the time to go to the meetings will show how serious you are. Enjoy your walk.

Acheleus

Just took a LONG walk. Like two hours. Now I feel so hungry! I forgot how great I feel after exercising. Now I have to find something to eat and then make a lesson plan for my classes tomorrow afternoon. I have so much work to do this weekend but I am worried that my new medication will make my brain mush and I will fail out. Next Thursday I will see my counselor, and tomorrow I will go to a young people's AA meeting, although I look a lot older than I am. One problem I have noticed is I feel so inadequate and like a huge loser, I am always afraid people are talking about me behind my back and saying I am a drunk and they saw me one weekend ********* walking down the street. After I exercise I don't care what other people think, I understand that I inherited alcoholism and I can try to focus on recovery. I really wish I had a girlfriend, or just a female companion, but I think I am still missing my ex gf. She actually texted me back the other day. Maybe after some sober time I can find a girl to talk to. Being alone is the hardest thing for me right now, so I will keep going to meetings and try to meet people. But really, people just do not like me, they look at me in an odd way. Or maybe I am just paranoid and too insecure to have healthy relationships. Tomorrow is day 6 and this is a good thing. I'm not thinking about alcohol, I'm thinking about how to love myself and accept me with my faults and good qualities.

Any advice on how to just relax around people and not worry what they think? People give me strange looks like they know I am an alcoholic, or people in my program have seen my drunk, it's so embarrassing.

No wonder they don't want to be friends.

BUT no more self-pity. Got to eat something.