a bottle of wine a night
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1
a bottle of wine a night
i am now 24 and ever since i was 19 ive probably drank a bottle of wine almost every night. obviously i try and kid myself that it wasnt that bad, and sure ive had a few alcoholic free days, but really they are few and far between. my mother has drank a bottle of wine every night since i can remember, i guess i joined her. i am a shy person and i guess i use this as an excuse, as my confidence is growing i say to myself 'its ok to drink a bottle of wine it wont be forever because my life will get less lonely'. but i know it is probably having a bad effect on my confidence and motivation because i just look forward to wine in the afternoon. i wish i had never got in to alcohol like this because i know its not that good and has horrible effects on my sleep, but i feel bored without it, i dont have many interests or friends, there is no stimulation. also as my mother has always drank one bottle of wine a night and been a functional mother, it is like i feel it is ok if she does it. is this really bad? how can i stop doing this?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bourne, MA
Posts: 60
I can promise you this much: It will not get easier when you work your way up to 2 bottles per night. The easiest it will ever be to quit drinking is right now, today. I don't have anything super inspiring to tell you here so I will just leave it like this. At 24 years old, you have your whole life in front of you. Not to sound condescending but you're just a kid!
You seem to be at a fork in the road.
Down path number one: a slow but progressive deterioration of your health; eventual legal, employment and relationship problems; probably some depression; and, eventually, Hell (the absence of hope) - they day you look in the mirror and realize that you cannot stop is when that kicks in.
Path Number two: feeling good, looking good, being productive, a sense of well being (physically and mentally), progress professionally, financially, good relationships; in general, at least a solid chance of a good healthy life.
I wish like hell I chose path number two 20 years ago.
You seem to be at a fork in the road.
Down path number one: a slow but progressive deterioration of your health; eventual legal, employment and relationship problems; probably some depression; and, eventually, Hell (the absence of hope) - they day you look in the mirror and realize that you cannot stop is when that kicks in.
Path Number two: feeling good, looking good, being productive, a sense of well being (physically and mentally), progress professionally, financially, good relationships; in general, at least a solid chance of a good healthy life.
I wish like hell I chose path number two 20 years ago.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Hi, Gemma. SLB has given you some great advice. The fact that you are asking questions is excellent. I came here to say, "Just wait until it's 2 bottles of wine!" but I see that SLB beat me to it (sober minds think alike???). You have a very important decision to make. For me, it was choosing life without alcohol. Best decision I ever made!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Hi Gemma, Welcome to SR you will find lots of support here. A bottle of a wine a night every night is a lot. Looking forward to wine in the afternoon should be a red flag also. Alcohol is a false friend you wont find the confidence and company you are looking for in a bottle. All alcohol will do in the long run is rob you of any confidence you do have and make you reliant on it.
I used to drink a similar amount to you at your age and i thought i would be able to stop at anytime. Fast forward two years (at 26) my drinking was completely out of control. This is a progressive illness which can easily get worse. If i were you i would get it sorted out now before it becomes too difficult. Have you tried or managed to stop before now?. Wishing you well.
I used to drink a similar amount to you at your age and i thought i would be able to stop at anytime. Fast forward two years (at 26) my drinking was completely out of control. This is a progressive illness which can easily get worse. If i were you i would get it sorted out now before it becomes too difficult. Have you tried or managed to stop before now?. Wishing you well.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi and Welcome,
If you think it's a problem, then stopping drinking is the answer. But, you sound unsure, and I can promise you that you will need to be completely committed to recovery if you stop drinking. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse if you don't stop drinking. I hope that you take a look around and get to know us.
If you think it's a problem, then stopping drinking is the answer. But, you sound unsure, and I can promise you that you will need to be completely committed to recovery if you stop drinking. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse if you don't stop drinking. I hope that you take a look around and get to know us.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: northern virginia
Posts: 535
hi gemma...
just wanted to welcome you to SR. and i wanted to share a bit of my story...
my mom also drank wine every night, and she did just fine caring for us kids. by the time she was drinking vodka in the late afternoons and evenings, we were all grown and could take care of ourselves... so, i was sad for her, but i was okay.
i was a heavy drinker in high school and college, but everyone around me drank the same, so i thought that was how it was done.
but almost 3 months ago, i came here and got sober. i started my family, and started drinking two glasses of wine a night. then it was a bottle. by the time i was cracking the first of two daily bottles at 3pm, i had conversations with my older brothers about how i was 'turning into mom'. (which we all laughed off, because, you know, mom was a fantastic mother even if she was a little soused at bedtime.)
by the time i got sober, i was drinking at least three bottles of red a day (starting at 10am) every single day.
i hope that you don't experience the escalation, the progressive nature, of problem drinking... but if you're worried about it, now is the best time to stop. if drinking is or will be a problem for you, it will just get worse... and it's definitely not worth it to lose all the years of a good, healthy life between now and then. at least, it wasn't for me.
i hope you stick around SR... and i wish you a whole lot of peace...
just wanted to welcome you to SR. and i wanted to share a bit of my story...
my mom also drank wine every night, and she did just fine caring for us kids. by the time she was drinking vodka in the late afternoons and evenings, we were all grown and could take care of ourselves... so, i was sad for her, but i was okay.
i was a heavy drinker in high school and college, but everyone around me drank the same, so i thought that was how it was done.
but almost 3 months ago, i came here and got sober. i started my family, and started drinking two glasses of wine a night. then it was a bottle. by the time i was cracking the first of two daily bottles at 3pm, i had conversations with my older brothers about how i was 'turning into mom'. (which we all laughed off, because, you know, mom was a fantastic mother even if she was a little soused at bedtime.)
by the time i got sober, i was drinking at least three bottles of red a day (starting at 10am) every single day.
i hope that you don't experience the escalation, the progressive nature, of problem drinking... but if you're worried about it, now is the best time to stop. if drinking is or will be a problem for you, it will just get worse... and it's definitely not worth it to lose all the years of a good, healthy life between now and then. at least, it wasn't for me.
i hope you stick around SR... and i wish you a whole lot of peace...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: London Uk
Posts: 65
Welcome Gemma, and thank you for sharing with us.
I think you have been given a gift in seeking help at 24. For most of us the warning signs were there at that age, and we just pushed through, our lives and those around us getting dragged down.
Now is a fantastic time to grab life with both hands and go for it. If you are feeling lonely and bored, rock up at an AA meeting and meet a ton of people that will eventually become the best friends you will have.
The very best of luck to you.
I think you have been given a gift in seeking help at 24. For most of us the warning signs were there at that age, and we just pushed through, our lives and those around us getting dragged down.
Now is a fantastic time to grab life with both hands and go for it. If you are feeling lonely and bored, rock up at an AA meeting and meet a ton of people that will eventually become the best friends you will have.
The very best of luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 484
Originally Posted by SLB1968 
I can promise you this much: It will not get easier when you work your way up to 2 bottles per night. The easiest it will ever be to quit drinking is right now, today. I don't have anything super inspiring to tell you here so I will just leave it like this. At 24 years old, you have your whole life in front of you. Not to sound condescending but you're just a kid!
You seem to be at a fork in the road.
Down path number one: a slow but progressive deterioration of your health; eventual legal, employment and relationship problems; probably some depression; and, eventually, Hell (the absence of hope) - they day you look in the mirror and realize that you cannot stop is when that kicks in.
Path Number two: feeling good, looking good, being productive, a sense of well being (physically and mentally), progress professionally, financially, good relationships; in general, at least a solid chance of a good healthy life.
I wish like hell I chose path number two 20 years ago.
You seem to be at a fork in the road.
Down path number one: a slow but progressive deterioration of your health; eventual legal, employment and relationship problems; probably some depression; and, eventually, Hell (the absence of hope) - they day you look in the mirror and realize that you cannot stop is when that kicks in.
Path Number two: feeling good, looking good, being productive, a sense of well being (physically and mentally), progress professionally, financially, good relationships; in general, at least a solid chance of a good healthy life.
I wish like hell I chose path number two 20 years ago.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: South west uk
Posts: 960
Welcome Gemma. You have done the right thing coming here. I am a similar age and drank like a fish. Some days starting pretty much as soon as I got up. Becoming sober has been a new lease of life. I feel like a different person. Best thing I have ever done.
As others said you have to want to quit. If you do then I highly recommend you going for it!
As others said you have to want to quit. If you do then I highly recommend you going for it!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Remember when a bottle of wine a night was just enough for me , then after a while I never felt satisfied on one and progressed to 1 1/2 till I was on 2 bottles and still wanting more..it's just a form of complete madness .
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 14
Welcome gemma,
I really relate to what you're saying. We're the same age, and I started drinking/using to help with my shyness quite a few years back. It seems like it makes it much easier to relate to people and not be alone, but we don't get less lonely that way, as we all find out. You'll find lots of good support here; I certainly have already.
I really relate to what you're saying. We're the same age, and I started drinking/using to help with my shyness quite a few years back. It seems like it makes it much easier to relate to people and not be alone, but we don't get less lonely that way, as we all find out. You'll find lots of good support here; I certainly have already.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
Gemma, my mom drank every night too and was a high functioning alcoholic. She was the epitomy of the "lonely housewife." Dad was on the road alot and despite the fact that she had a college degree, he did not allow her to work. She mostly raised us 3 kids by herself--she had no friends and no real activities she engaged in. Although she was passed out by 8 p.m. every night, she always made us 3 meals a day and kept the house spotless. Mom quit drinking after Dad died 14 years ago. She is now age 86 and never had any ill effects from drinking so hard for so long. She was lucky! She got a social life and is very involved in a variety of activities and has a lot of friends. She accomplished all this after quitting drinking at age 72. If she can do it at such a late age, you can do it! You can get new friends, start new activities and begin a new life. I suggest going to AA meetings. This will provide a base to grow socially.
I always told myself that I could drink daily heavily like my mom did without ill effects. That I had "good genes" that would protect me from the ravages of alcohol. And that is the primary reason I continued to drink. I am age 55 and just quit 25 days ago. I now know that there is no way I could have continued to drink like I did and make it as long as my mom has. My doctor told me two years ago that if I didn't quit drinking, I would end up with cirrhosis of the liver within 2 years. Earlier this year, my liver enzymes were higher than they had ever been. I'm happy I quit, but trust me..I wish I would have quit many, many years ago. I've missed out on alot being drunk all these years.
I always told myself that I could drink daily heavily like my mom did without ill effects. That I had "good genes" that would protect me from the ravages of alcohol. And that is the primary reason I continued to drink. I am age 55 and just quit 25 days ago. I now know that there is no way I could have continued to drink like I did and make it as long as my mom has. My doctor told me two years ago that if I didn't quit drinking, I would end up with cirrhosis of the liver within 2 years. Earlier this year, my liver enzymes were higher than they had ever been. I'm happy I quit, but trust me..I wish I would have quit many, many years ago. I've missed out on alot being drunk all these years.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,761
Welcome Buttercups! I used to drink at least a bottle of wine a day, then it got to be two or three. 
Do you want to stop drinking? If so, you've come to a good place for support in getting sober.
Do you want to stop drinking? If so, you've come to a good place for support in getting sober.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
in addition to what's been said thus far; even if you're drinking pretty cheap wine you're currently pouring around $4,000.00 or more down your gullet each year.
You can have an awful lot of wonderful, joyous, memorable sober fun on $4,000.00
If I'd had the presence of awareness to even consider stopping when I was your age, I would have saved myself two DUI's, tens and tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, untold amounts of cash poured down my throat to the detriment of my health, perhaps would not have had two divorces or at least not quite as painfully..... and started a far more joyous path a long time ago.
I say; give it a go. commit to a sober year of living and see what it brings you.... nothing at all to lose (except maybe shame and hangovers) and everything to gain.
You can have an awful lot of wonderful, joyous, memorable sober fun on $4,000.00
If I'd had the presence of awareness to even consider stopping when I was your age, I would have saved myself two DUI's, tens and tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees, untold amounts of cash poured down my throat to the detriment of my health, perhaps would not have had two divorces or at least not quite as painfully..... and started a far more joyous path a long time ago.
I say; give it a go. commit to a sober year of living and see what it brings you.... nothing at all to lose (except maybe shame and hangovers) and everything to gain.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Belle Vernon, PA
Posts: 15
Everyone has given you great advice! Many of us didn't have the internet and all of it's (sometimes) good resources available like this one. I wish I had the insight to follow this advice at your age. I'll be 48 next month and am 7 days sober.....tired of being ashamed of my appearance and lack of accomplishments,family etc. Hope you stay with us and let us know how everything is going for you! You have a big (formerly) rowdy cheering section here for you!
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