Introducing myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 4
Introducing myself
Hello, I'm a new member of this group with AH living in the UK (originally from Surrey).
I've already learned a lot from reading other people's posts (especially in the friends and family section).
I've been to one al anon meeting last week and am really looking forward to the next one. I was lucky with my first meeting as I had so many questions and was worried there wouldn't be time for me to ask, but there were only 2 other people at the meeting so I was able to ask all my initial questions.
I've suffered with AH (STBXAH???), for many years, don't know exactly how many as it's all been done behind my back, including the buying of bottles, although as I am the only one working I end up paying for it all, most recent thing was he took rather a large amount of cash I had from selling a vehicle and denies it, but as there are only 2 of us in the house and no one else would have known where it was I know he took it, since then he's also stopped asking to borrow my debit card (of course he never asked for it to buy alcohol anyway).
To find out for sure, as there are few outward signs other than sleeping during the day, I had to sneak about in our outbuildings looking for the stuff and discovered about a bottle of spirits being consumed per day. He is in complete denial currently although in the past I have persuaded him to see the doctor about his drinking and he got a few sessions of counselling, he hates any mention of AA and told me they are rubbish!!!! He has had several ultimatums for moving out (there are reasons he needs to leave not me), but is choosing to ignore it. This week he has a job interview and has stopped drinking (at least I think he has....) for the last 4 days and is being really nice to me as he knows there is a moving out deadline coming up this week. After seeing a solicitor last week, I am not rushing to make him leave as that will make things more difficult short term and could have adverse financial implications too. That's all quite annoying....
Anyway, that's me for now, I look forward to getting to know you all a bit better.
Surrey
I've already learned a lot from reading other people's posts (especially in the friends and family section).
I've been to one al anon meeting last week and am really looking forward to the next one. I was lucky with my first meeting as I had so many questions and was worried there wouldn't be time for me to ask, but there were only 2 other people at the meeting so I was able to ask all my initial questions.
I've suffered with AH (STBXAH???), for many years, don't know exactly how many as it's all been done behind my back, including the buying of bottles, although as I am the only one working I end up paying for it all, most recent thing was he took rather a large amount of cash I had from selling a vehicle and denies it, but as there are only 2 of us in the house and no one else would have known where it was I know he took it, since then he's also stopped asking to borrow my debit card (of course he never asked for it to buy alcohol anyway).
To find out for sure, as there are few outward signs other than sleeping during the day, I had to sneak about in our outbuildings looking for the stuff and discovered about a bottle of spirits being consumed per day. He is in complete denial currently although in the past I have persuaded him to see the doctor about his drinking and he got a few sessions of counselling, he hates any mention of AA and told me they are rubbish!!!! He has had several ultimatums for moving out (there are reasons he needs to leave not me), but is choosing to ignore it. This week he has a job interview and has stopped drinking (at least I think he has....) for the last 4 days and is being really nice to me as he knows there is a moving out deadline coming up this week. After seeing a solicitor last week, I am not rushing to make him leave as that will make things more difficult short term and could have adverse financial implications too. That's all quite annoying....
Anyway, that's me for now, I look forward to getting to know you all a bit better.
Surrey
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Welcome, Surrey, glad you found SR but too bad you're in a situation to need to look for a site like this...
Good for you for taking some time to read in the Friends and Family section. It's a great way to educate yourself as well as get support. Make sure not to miss the stickied threads at the top of the page, too.
So glad to hear you've been to Alanon also--it's a wonderful place to get in-person help that an online forum simply can't offer you. You might want to try a couple of different meetings, since your initial meeting only had a few people in it. Here's a link to help you find meetings: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Again, glad you decided to join here, and looking forward to hearing from you--I am mostly in the Family and Friends section also, so will look for you there!
Good for you for taking some time to read in the Friends and Family section. It's a great way to educate yourself as well as get support. Make sure not to miss the stickied threads at the top of the page, too.
So glad to hear you've been to Alanon also--it's a wonderful place to get in-person help that an online forum simply can't offer you. You might want to try a couple of different meetings, since your initial meeting only had a few people in it. Here's a link to help you find meetings: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
Again, glad you decided to join here, and looking forward to hearing from you--I am mostly in the Family and Friends section also, so will look for you there!
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