Did you ever hide bottles?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 79
Did you ever hide bottles?
Feeling really guilty about the person I have become. I have been trying to stop drinking since May, Im in AA and it has helped but I just keep relapsing. I have even resorted to hiding bottles now. My husband doesn't know. He thinks I have been sober a week. I just dont how to stop.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Hiding bottles goes with the territory. Also disposing of the empty ones so people wont "know". And chewing mints so it's not on your breath. Being an alcoholic takes lots of work. Same for drug addictions I suppose. Long sleeve shirts, dark eyeglasses. So many people to "fool"! Very time consuming.
W.
W.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Hi javamama,
My husband is very good at finding hiding places but I had a few. However, I didn't visit them to drink because he could smell it on me a mile away.
I'd wait until there was an occasion to drink where he was drinking and I'd buy NA beer. Then, when he was talking with people I'd go and pour out part of the NA and replace it with the real stuff. Had a few scary moments because if you go too fast and are pouring a warm beverage into a cold bottle it will erupt like Mt Vesuvius.
Most of us have hidden alcohol. How fun is that though? You can't drink when you want and you're on edge waiting for the chance to present itself.
Do you have a plan in place when you get urges? That's key in succeeding. Those hidden bottles are holding you back from doing what you need to do.
Come here and post, post, post and read, read, read. There's so much information and great people to help.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
My husband is very good at finding hiding places but I had a few. However, I didn't visit them to drink because he could smell it on me a mile away.
I'd wait until there was an occasion to drink where he was drinking and I'd buy NA beer. Then, when he was talking with people I'd go and pour out part of the NA and replace it with the real stuff. Had a few scary moments because if you go too fast and are pouring a warm beverage into a cold bottle it will erupt like Mt Vesuvius.
Most of us have hidden alcohol. How fun is that though? You can't drink when you want and you're on edge waiting for the chance to present itself.
Do you have a plan in place when you get urges? That's key in succeeding. Those hidden bottles are holding you back from doing what you need to do.
Come here and post, post, post and read, read, read. There's so much information and great people to help.
YOU CAN DO THIS!
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
Yes I did, hid full ones and empty ones.
The other day , I hadn't planned on it but, while my wife and I were in the garage I showed her the 'best ' hiding places. She said she was scared that I had done that , they must've been good because she hadn't check any of those, she was too smart to be fooled, and I thought I was the smart one.
The other day , I hadn't planned on it but, while my wife and I were in the garage I showed her the 'best ' hiding places. She said she was scared that I had done that , they must've been good because she hadn't check any of those, she was too smart to be fooled, and I thought I was the smart one.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 14
Hiding things is definitely part of the disease. I think most of us, if not all, have done so at some point. Using this site and reading and posting like LadyBlue said is one of the best things I've started doing. It's also always a good idea to keep trying to build up the courage to tell your husband your hiding places. Eventually you'll get the nerve up to do so, and once we start telling people these things it gets harder to hide it, not to say we won't find new places, but it's a good sign of progress when we can start giving away our hiding places.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
I forgot to mention. One of my hiding places which was never discovered was in the base of an antique grandfather clock. A rather dignified solution to the problem i might say. Malcolm Lowry's "Consul" would hide his bottles under bushes at the back of his garden. My garden seldom had such remote and private places. And this would also be awkward in rainy weather. And then there is the famous and ingenious suspension of a bottle on a string outside a window, featured in the film, "The Lost Weekend", as well as a bottle hidden in an overhead light fixture. W.C. Fields was said to put gin in his orange juice, becoming upset and saying on one occasion, "Who's been putting orange juice in my orange juice". And the Marlene Dietrich movie where the barrister put brandy in his thermos.
W
W
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
I was living alone during my hard drinking period and after I had a couple of drinks = 16oz of vodka I must have felt guilty and hide my car keys and my spare bottle, from myself! And I thought my thinking was OK!
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
"Rarely have
we seen a person fail who has
thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not
recover are people who cannot or will not completely
give themselves to this simple program, usually men
and women who are constitutionally incapable of being
honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates.
They are not at fault; they seem to have been
born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping*
and developing a manner of living which demands
rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional
and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if
they have the capacity to be honest. "
i hid bottles. lots of bottles. hundreds of bottles. the thing is, when i got honest with myself and my husband and the people around me in AA, i no longer needed to hide. i didn't feel the compulsion anymore. if i was being honest, why would i need to hide what i was doing? even if you're relapsing, it's better to be honest. our loved ones often already know what's up despite our best efforts at hiding our transgressions.
i am often astounded when i think about my bottle hiding days. we were living with another couple and decided to move out last year. when i was getting our things together out in the garage, i was constantly assaulted with empties. my fallen soldiers. i found them behind boxes, in boxes, behind house remodeling stuff...i even found them stuffed into my cat carriers! it was embarrassing as i realized that just a fraction of these bottles were filling up the huge recycling can. and those were the ones i'd forgotten about! i often hid bottles until trash day and offered to take the trash out so i could secretly throw them away. i used to load up bottles in my car and drive to the nearest park or church or wherever there was a big dumpster where i could throw my bottles away without anyone noticing. i wonder if the people who took the trash out to the dumpster at the church ever noticed my weekly contribution?
so yeah, i hid bottles but i couldn't run from the grasp alcohol had on me. why pretend to be okay on the outside when you're not okay inside? it's hard. it's too hard to keep up. so go ahead and break down and be honest. many of us slip. it's not an excuse, it just is what it is. but if you keep hiding and pretending, it's going to be all the more terrible when your lies catch up to you and you have to reveal that your sobriety has been sham. it's better to come clean earlier rather than later. i hope you get the help you need, hon. it is possible.
we seen a person fail who has
thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not
recover are people who cannot or will not completely
give themselves to this simple program, usually men
and women who are constitutionally incapable of being
honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates.
They are not at fault; they seem to have been
born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping*
and developing a manner of living which demands
rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional
and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if
they have the capacity to be honest. "
i hid bottles. lots of bottles. hundreds of bottles. the thing is, when i got honest with myself and my husband and the people around me in AA, i no longer needed to hide. i didn't feel the compulsion anymore. if i was being honest, why would i need to hide what i was doing? even if you're relapsing, it's better to be honest. our loved ones often already know what's up despite our best efforts at hiding our transgressions.
i am often astounded when i think about my bottle hiding days. we were living with another couple and decided to move out last year. when i was getting our things together out in the garage, i was constantly assaulted with empties. my fallen soldiers. i found them behind boxes, in boxes, behind house remodeling stuff...i even found them stuffed into my cat carriers! it was embarrassing as i realized that just a fraction of these bottles were filling up the huge recycling can. and those were the ones i'd forgotten about! i often hid bottles until trash day and offered to take the trash out so i could secretly throw them away. i used to load up bottles in my car and drive to the nearest park or church or wherever there was a big dumpster where i could throw my bottles away without anyone noticing. i wonder if the people who took the trash out to the dumpster at the church ever noticed my weekly contribution?
so yeah, i hid bottles but i couldn't run from the grasp alcohol had on me. why pretend to be okay on the outside when you're not okay inside? it's hard. it's too hard to keep up. so go ahead and break down and be honest. many of us slip. it's not an excuse, it just is what it is. but if you keep hiding and pretending, it's going to be all the more terrible when your lies catch up to you and you have to reveal that your sobriety has been sham. it's better to come clean earlier rather than later. i hope you get the help you need, hon. it is possible.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
also, you say you're in AA but do you have a sponsor? i know i've had to call mine when my brain started to get squirrelly. it really helps to have one and to start working the steps. if you do have a sponsor, have you called her?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
I live alone and I still hid alcohol. I used to have a secret stash of beer under the stairs, and I used to have a gin bottle on show and one I hid under the sink to top it up with, just in case any frequent visitors noticed how quickly I got through it.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 245
I regularly hid bottles. My DBF is so clueless he thinks that I haven't relapsed anywhere near as often as I have. I'm on day 1 again, and there's no alcohol in the house. If I have the courage to bypass the stores on the way home at 10:30 PM when I'm driving home from work I'll make it. I'm trying to save money for a trip to visit my sister in law. I figure if I put away the $3.29 I spend each day on my bottle of wine, I'll be able to do it in January.
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
I used to hide my bottles so good that even I could not find them. For a year after I quit drinking I kept finding empty or partially full bottles hidden in the strangest of places. You say that you are in AA do you have a sponsor?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Allen texas
Posts: 1
Just joined the GRP today. I've hidden bottles and cups. Also, I filled them with co pored water until I could sneak out to buy more before my husband realized it. He keeps a full stock of booze because he said he's not the one with the problem, even though my MD told him not to keep anything in house! I relate totally.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
I did. I finally had to admit it to my wife...(twice, to my shame.)
Loved ones will almost always find out sooner or later so coming clean seems the better option rather than being found out. I think we potentially put our loved ones in a terribly difficult scenario by hiding bottles. If they find them then they suddenly are saddled with some tough decisions. Do they confront us, pretend it didn't happen, throw them away and say nothing, etc..??? Regardless, they suddenly come to terms with our dishonesty and get a eye-opening reality check about the extent of our problem. I hated that my actions could put my wife in this situation and, depending upon her response, I may never even know that she had to deal with it.
Sorry you are going through all this. Things can get better. So much more peaceful to move these issues out of the shadows and into the light of truth. Wishing you all the best.
Loved ones will almost always find out sooner or later so coming clean seems the better option rather than being found out. I think we potentially put our loved ones in a terribly difficult scenario by hiding bottles. If they find them then they suddenly are saddled with some tough decisions. Do they confront us, pretend it didn't happen, throw them away and say nothing, etc..??? Regardless, they suddenly come to terms with our dishonesty and get a eye-opening reality check about the extent of our problem. I hated that my actions could put my wife in this situation and, depending upon her response, I may never even know that she had to deal with it.
Sorry you are going through all this. Things can get better. So much more peaceful to move these issues out of the shadows and into the light of truth. Wishing you all the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 79
Thank you. I'm definitely in the right place. I do have a sponsor..well did. She fired me today. I admitted to my relapse. One of many with her. I dont blame her. She doesnt think im taking it seriously or want it. But I do..I really do. I had 24 days then drank again laat month. Since then its been a week here and a week there. I love AA but I have no idea where to go from here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: 510
Posts: 19
I think most of us are guilty. Even when throwing bottles away I would wait till no one was around place everything in a bag take it outside empty the trash can throw the bag away and put all the trash back on top.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 590
Sounds rough. sorry.
Keep reading and posting. That usually helps me anyway. Different things seem to work for different people. Bottom line is that you just can't give up and crawl into your addiction, IMO. Some times we just have to get up, dust ourselves off and try something different this time. Lots of good thoughts and advise about that in these forums.
Keep reading and posting. That usually helps me anyway. Different things seem to work for different people. Bottom line is that you just can't give up and crawl into your addiction, IMO. Some times we just have to get up, dust ourselves off and try something different this time. Lots of good thoughts and advise about that in these forums.
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