focusonme

Hi, I am currently homeless as I moved out to get a break away from the chaos that is living with my "apparently recovering AH". He states he is clean for over a year now but the emotional and mental abuse is now worse than it was when he was using. He has never been physically abusive so I can't get any orders to have him removed. We have a small child and I had my home for over 10 years before we got married 3 years ago.

I want to go home but not while he is there. I can't afford to rent elsewhere.

How do I put him out of my home and for those that did what were the repercussions?

The Police won't intervene as its a family home and he has a right to be there.

jerect

This is a tough one... It was absolute hell getting my ex out of my house when I filed for divorce, he had nowhere to go and had no ambition to find him a place to stay.. Luckily it was in my divorce papers that he had to leave by a certain date and the day the D was final, my lawyer threatened him with a contempt of court if he didn't leave.. I finally had to change the locks the night before the D was final and told him he was not to come back unless it was to gather his things..

Depending on the state you live in, you might have to file an eviction for him through the court.. That can take up to thirty days or more.. Is the house only in your name? You may have to seek legal council.. I know that in my state, if a person has been living at that residence for a period of time and is getting mail there the only way to get them out is to evict them..

Good luck to you, I know what your going through and it's not fun at all...

focusonme

Thank you for your reply. I haven't heard of an eviction order in our country but will check with my lawyer. As mentioned we are married so apparently he is entitled to a share in the value of the property. He believes that half the house is his even though it is in my name only and he wasn't smart enough to get his name on the deeds after the marriage.

He also believes that the breakdown of the marraige is due to the fact I was "broken" before we got married. I certainly was broken in more ways than one and received a lot of counselling yet I went on to marry an addict! He says his addiction isn't to blame and therefore he won't budge. He has been very emotionally abusive but thanks to AlAnon I have gotten much stronger and only now react when really caught off guard so his manipulation and twisting only gets me into an argument less than once a month. He is now heading down the road of being financially abusive so perhaps after that avenue is exhausted we will get the physical abuse and then I can get an order to get him out.

We are in the process of separation so I guess I'll have to sit it out until that is completed. No doubt it will be the longest and most drawn out separation ever so that he can keep the roof over his head for as long as possible.

But he'll have to leave at some stage!

mich0020

Im sorry to hear about this. Try to contact a womens help center and hopefully u have a supportive family. I found in my past that the police told me all I needed for a op is to tell them that I don't feel safe in the home, it maybe diff bc of diff states but its worth a try. I hope u n ur child r both safe with a bed n full bellys n I pray for u both. Just look at it this way there is nowhere but up to go from here.

KeepinItReal

I would def. try to file an Order of Protection. If the "law" knows your now living there the courts might try to say you abandoned the property. Good luck.