Sober with drinking customer
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Sober with drinking customer
I have an odd situation. I have a customer who does lots of business with my company. He expects 10 martini lunches from time to time. I haven't had lunch with him since I've been on the wagon. He has expressed to me in the past how he 'doesn't respect a man who doesn't drink.' So here I am in a tricky situation and my business relies on his orders. I need to come up with some really good excuses not to drink while having lunch with him. I can't tell him I simply don't drink anymore or it may jeopardize our business. Ideas?
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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It's difficult. I agree it's not always convenient or appropriate to disclose private business. If he has a drink problem himself then he may be embarrased or ashamed-not ideal in a business environment.
I would say I was on anti-biotics or had an ongoing health problem which meant you'd had to stopdrinking. The latter isn't lying and can obviously be used nexttime you see him.
You may be surprised,he may just accept your reason and say no more about it.
I wouldn't pretend to drink as that may look very odd if he realizes and he may order you more drinks. Keep it simple
I would say I was on anti-biotics or had an ongoing health problem which meant you'd had to stopdrinking. The latter isn't lying and can obviously be used nexttime you see him.
You may be surprised,he may just accept your reason and say no more about it.
I wouldn't pretend to drink as that may look very odd if he realizes and he may order you more drinks. Keep it simple
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: NC
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I know a man who said the same thing. When he finally gave up the booze I reminded him that he said, "I don't trust.....". He said he had rethought that. Hey, maybe you could drizzle his food with castor oil and when he complains later tell him all those martinis are catching up with him. Well, it's a funny thought. 
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Originally Posted by DarkDays 
doesn't respect a man who doesn't drink
God that type of saying is so absurd in this day and age, the age of enlightenment where a person does not respect you because you do not poison yourself.
God that type of saying is so absurd in this day and age, the age of enlightenment where a person does not respect you because you do not poison yourself.
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Hi Tang, I have this very same situation in my life right now so I am glad you posted on it. I don't have a particular client, per se, but rather, as a fundraiser and as someone who is expected to entertain some DC muckety-mucks who also expect the martini lunches and wine dinners, it is challenging as hell. I am a female so it is slightly easier to say I am abstaining and not get too much grief but I also work in a field where drinking is pretty much the main social activity of everyone. I also have a general I work with who said to me, "I don't trust anyone who doesn't drink---man or woman," so I get where you're coming from with the comment from your client.
I would love to say I have shown the mental and emotional fortitude to stare down these bullies and say, "I am sober so go poison yourself on your own!" but, obviously, I cannot and expect to stay employed. So I use the health reason since it is not a lie and it's very hard for people to challenge you on that one without coming off as a$$holes. You don't have to be elaborate but just something like, "I was having a few health issues back (whenever) and the doctor suggested I lay off booze for awhile."
I wouldn't use anything with a finite end date like antibiotics because that will set you up for the next time (I learned this the hard way). So just saying you're laying off for awhile usually will do the trick. Definitely don't pretend to drink either. This may work at a happy hour where you are in charge of your own fate for the most part but at a lunch it is very possible, as RAL noted, that he will order more for the both of you. This often happens with wine, in particular, where you can share a bottle.
Good luck to you!
I would love to say I have shown the mental and emotional fortitude to stare down these bullies and say, "I am sober so go poison yourself on your own!" but, obviously, I cannot and expect to stay employed. So I use the health reason since it is not a lie and it's very hard for people to challenge you on that one without coming off as a$$holes. You don't have to be elaborate but just something like, "I was having a few health issues back (whenever) and the doctor suggested I lay off booze for awhile."
I wouldn't use anything with a finite end date like antibiotics because that will set you up for the next time (I learned this the hard way). So just saying you're laying off for awhile usually will do the trick. Definitely don't pretend to drink either. This may work at a happy hour where you are in charge of your own fate for the most part but at a lunch it is very possible, as RAL noted, that he will order more for the both of you. This often happens with wine, in particular, where you can share a bottle.
Good luck to you!
Last edited by Ptcapote; 08-17-2013 at 09:42 AM. Reason: Addition
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Originally Posted by Ptcapote
Hi Tang, I have this very same situation in my life right now so I am glad you posted on it. I don't have a particular client, per se, but rather, as a fundraiser and as someone who is expected to entertain some DC muckety-mucks who also expect the martini lunches and wine dinners, it is challenging as hell. I am a female so it is slightly easier to say I am abstaining and not get too much grief but I also work in a field where drinking is pretty much the main social activity of everyone. I also have a general I work with who said to me, "I don't trust anyone who doesn't drink---man or woman," so I get where you're coming from with the comment from your client.
I would love to say I have shown the mental and emotional fortitude to stare down these bullies and say, "I am sober so go poison yourself on your own!" but, obviously, I cannot and expect to stay employed. So I use the health reason since it is not a lie and it's very hard for people to challenge you on that one without coming off as a$$holes. You don't have to be elaborate but just something like, "I was having a few health issues back (whenever) and the doctor suggested I lay off booze for awhile."
I wouldn't use anything with a finite end date like antibiotics because that will set you up for the next time (I learned this the hard way). So just saying you're laying off for awhile usually will do the trick. Definitely don't pretend to drink either. This may work at a happy hour where you are in charge of your own fate for the most part but at a lunch it is very possible, as RAL noted, that he will order more for the both of you. This often happens with wine, in particular, where you can share a bottle.
Good luck to you!
I would love to say I have shown the mental and emotional fortitude to stare down these bullies and say, "I am sober so go poison yourself on your own!" but, obviously, I cannot and expect to stay employed. So I use the health reason since it is not a lie and it's very hard for people to challenge you on that one without coming off as a$$holes. You don't have to be elaborate but just something like, "I was having a few health issues back (whenever) and the doctor suggested I lay off booze for awhile."
I wouldn't use anything with a finite end date like antibiotics because that will set you up for the next time (I learned this the hard way). So just saying you're laying off for awhile usually will do the trick. Definitely don't pretend to drink either. This may work at a happy hour where you are in charge of your own fate for the most part but at a lunch it is very possible, as RAL noted, that he will order more for the both of you. This often happens with wine, in particular, where you can share a bottle.
Good luck to you!
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He does business with you for business reasons, not for the martini lunches. If the product is good and the price is right, he will continue doing business whether you drink or not.
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Tell him you have diabetes. Your recovery is your business on another hand, you have to make a living too. A white lie is not out of line in this situation. Just remember to watch what you eat when you are with him.
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