My last hungover Saturday!! :)
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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My last hungover Saturday!! :)
It's strange. I don't feel good, but I don't feel bad either. My best friend is visiting and we haven't seen each other in years and after a WONDERFUL night out (1st time with a babysitter in a year) drinking and dancing, I'm ready to start my journey with sobriety! I was worried her visit would reinforce how much I like to drink and although we did drink quite a bit the last few days, I have no qualms with knowing that this may be my last "hoorah" so to say. Instead I'm excited! I'm not even angry which is what I usually feel when I know Im going to try quitting. Hopefully this is a good sign; a sign I'm ready to make the leap. We'll see I guess, but if I quit completely this coming week I'll have 6 months sober before my 30th b-day which would be amazing!!! I will drink today. My friend doesn't need the burden of knowing her visit is so substantial in my life plans, and we are wine friends so its inevitable. BUT after she leaves... GAME ON so to say! lol Take care and thanks for listening! 
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London
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Originally Posted by PinotNOmore 
It's strange. I don't feel good, but I don't feel bad either. My best friend is visiting and we haven't seen each other in years and after a WONDERFUL night out (1st time with a babysitter in a year) drinking and dancing, I'm ready to start my journey with sobriety! I was worried her visit would reinforce how much I like to drink and although we did drink quite a bit the last few days, I have no qualms with knowing that this may be my last "hoorah" so to say. Instead I'm excited! I'm not even angry which is what I usually feel when I know Im going to try quitting. Hopefully this is a good sign; a sign I'm ready to make the leap. We'll see I guess, but if I quit completely this coming week I'll have 6 months sober before my 30th b-day which would be amazing!!! I will drink today. My friend doesn't need the burden of knowing her visit is so substantial in my life plans, and we are wine friends so its inevitable. BUT after she leaves... GAME ON so to say! lol Take care and thanks for listening!
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
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I will drink today. My friend doesn't need the burden of knowing her visit is so substantial in my life plans, and we are wine friends so its inevitable. BUT after she leaves... GAME ON so to say! lol Take care and thanks for listening!
Done this so many times in fact hundreds of times, I will drink today and stop tomorrow...there will be many more days when you see friends and so many more events. I would stop right this second and waste not a second more with it.
Good luck whatever you do.
Done this so many times in fact hundreds of times, I will drink today and stop tomorrow...there will be many more days when you see friends and so many more events. I would stop right this second and waste not a second more with it.
Good luck whatever you do.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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I've got to agree with Darkdays.Not trying to discourage you but there will always be a reason to put it off till tomorrow. What happens next time she visits? Or another friend or party. Does it really matter to her if you don't drink alcohol tonight?Theonlyday to quit is today.YOu sound so positive and focused-you CAN do this.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: RI
Posts: 86
I agree with the previous two. I've even gone as far as writing "last bottle" on a huge wine bottle resolving, " this will be my last one." Guess where I was the next day...at the liquor store telling myself one more isnt going to make a difference. It was a lie...one more leads to another one more and on it goes.
There's no better time than the present moment. What if "I'll drink today and start tomorrow" turns into you drinking and not seeing tomorrow for one of the many reasons alcoholics can die without warning. You'd have seen another day if you resolved to stop.
Good luck.
There's no better time than the present moment. What if "I'll drink today and start tomorrow" turns into you drinking and not seeing tomorrow for one of the many reasons alcoholics can die without warning. You'd have seen another day if you resolved to stop.
Good luck.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
My friend doesn't need the burden of knowing her visit is so substantial in my life plans, and we are wine friends so its inevitable.
I'm lost here, but maybe not really.
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Dee is always better to word things better than me. But sweetie, you're on a forum chalk full of alcoholics and addicts. Nobody knows how to lie, deflect and defer about our addictions better than us. We've all heard the line, we'll stop tomorrow, a zillion times.
Coming here is a great first step. You'll find a ton of support. But you'll quickly realize recovery is something we take very seriously. Deadly seriously in fact. So saying things like, I had a WONDERFUL time drinking last night, isn't going to get you a lot of support.
I can only speak for myself, but when I put the bottle down, I was at the end of my rope. Instead of making excuses for another night of drinking, I decided I had to find reasons to stay sober for another day. Turns out that was a lot easier than I expected.
Coming here is a great first step. You'll find a ton of support. But you'll quickly realize recovery is something we take very seriously. Deadly seriously in fact. So saying things like, I had a WONDERFUL time drinking last night, isn't going to get you a lot of support.
I can only speak for myself, but when I put the bottle down, I was at the end of my rope. Instead of making excuses for another night of drinking, I decided I had to find reasons to stay sober for another day. Turns out that was a lot easier than I expected.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Wow!! when posting on a site thats meant for support I'm not feeling very supported!! I thought i was being positive but i guess not. And, power to you nomis for putting the bottle down immediately but maybe, just maybe, other people have different situations and don't have to reach the bottom to make a decision! I know what type of forum I'm posting in and this wasn't my "first step". I appreciate the comment but if I wanted to lie about my issues, my post would be way different. LASTLY, Can you honestly say you NEVER had a good time drinking? I can't. I'm usually a mild mannered person, but your post got to me... I will quit drinking. Just hope people will be more understanding when I do...
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Pinot
everyone here is sharing their experiences.
this is a recovery forum.
Noones going to pat you on the back and say you go girl, because it's simply not a very good idea.
We care about you and we will give you good advice, not just what you want to hear - we're good like that.
That's real support IMO
I'd maybe go back and read your first ever post here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3790622
then read this thread again.
You can do what you want. You're an adult...but we care about you too...
it's not fair to lash out at us for trying to talk you out of a bad idea
D
everyone here is sharing their experiences.
this is a recovery forum.
Noones going to pat you on the back and say you go girl, because it's simply not a very good idea.
We care about you and we will give you good advice, not just what you want to hear - we're good like that.
That's real support IMO
I'd maybe go back and read your first ever post here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3790622
then read this thread again.
You can do what you want. You're an adult...but we care about you too...
it's not fair to lash out at us for trying to talk you out of a bad idea
D
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi Pinot..
I don't think anybody meant to be unsupportive, we have all been where you are now...trying to choose that "perfect time to quit", and failed at that endeavor do many times, because there is no such time...not for alcoholics. The only perfect time to quit for an alcoholic is now!
I think people were just sharing their experiences with that and just trying to give you advice.
I hope you can understand that, and I truly hope you find success and happiness when you do quit.
Best wishes!
I don't think anybody meant to be unsupportive, we have all been where you are now...trying to choose that "perfect time to quit", and failed at that endeavor do many times, because there is no such time...not for alcoholics. The only perfect time to quit for an alcoholic is now!
I think people were just sharing their experiences with that and just trying to give you advice.
I hope you can understand that, and I truly hope you find success and happiness when you do quit.
Best wishes!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
PinotNoMore,
I’m going to say what I am about to say in the most loving way that I can to a fellow alcoholic. Your post affected me today as I’m sure that it did many other people and here’s why. We all understand that you are in the fight to quit drinking. We are all with you in that same fight and it’s work, daily, every day. As ecstatic as I am every weekend (I was a weekend binge drinker just like you) that I wake up clear headed and I have this place to come to I still have bouts of anxiety that I will never relive the old days. How easy it was to make those calls to friends looking for someone to drink with and just go and do it. To say, that’s ok, I’ll quit tomorrow, or next weekend, or whenever it is that the next time comes that I want to drink. I did that for many years.
It takes vigilance, working a plan, coming here and lamenting in sometimes our darkest hours to do what needs to be done to not pick up that drink. So you have to forgive people when they read a post that states what a wonderful time someone had drinking and dancing and in turn, react to it. Then, the icing on the cake was to read “I will drink today” followed by an excuse that really had nothing to do with the core reason that the activity was taking place. We know this because we have been there and we have done that.
You might have seen that post as a way to effectively clear your conscious because at least if you were going to drink, you were being honest with people on the board about it. However, you’re asking to be excused for your actions by a lot of people who work very hard on a daily basis regardless of any possible reason that may come up that gives the excuse to drink. We don’t have that luxury and we have made the decision that there is no valid excuse. We just don’t drink. If we slip, we lament, we come here feeling horrible, we ask for forgiveness or help. If we think that we’re going to drink we come here and ask for help. If we know that we’re going to drink we don’t come here and confess it to the board, we take the slip, suck it up, and come here and try to do better. I think that your post was the first post I have witnessed that said “Had fun last night drinking, going to do it again today, but that’s ok, I’m quitting tomorrow.”
Everyone wants to be here for you but in order for that to happen you need to take this seriously. You probably do and are having a hard time. However, that’s not how your post came across and it really hit the core of many good people here who are fighting the good fight. A very tough fight.
I hope and pray that Sunday is Day One for you and that you succeed. I know how hard this is. You can do this! We can be here to help you but you have to be serious and you have to want that help.
Be Well.
I’m going to say what I am about to say in the most loving way that I can to a fellow alcoholic. Your post affected me today as I’m sure that it did many other people and here’s why. We all understand that you are in the fight to quit drinking. We are all with you in that same fight and it’s work, daily, every day. As ecstatic as I am every weekend (I was a weekend binge drinker just like you) that I wake up clear headed and I have this place to come to I still have bouts of anxiety that I will never relive the old days. How easy it was to make those calls to friends looking for someone to drink with and just go and do it. To say, that’s ok, I’ll quit tomorrow, or next weekend, or whenever it is that the next time comes that I want to drink. I did that for many years.
It takes vigilance, working a plan, coming here and lamenting in sometimes our darkest hours to do what needs to be done to not pick up that drink. So you have to forgive people when they read a post that states what a wonderful time someone had drinking and dancing and in turn, react to it. Then, the icing on the cake was to read “I will drink today” followed by an excuse that really had nothing to do with the core reason that the activity was taking place. We know this because we have been there and we have done that.
You might have seen that post as a way to effectively clear your conscious because at least if you were going to drink, you were being honest with people on the board about it. However, you’re asking to be excused for your actions by a lot of people who work very hard on a daily basis regardless of any possible reason that may come up that gives the excuse to drink. We don’t have that luxury and we have made the decision that there is no valid excuse. We just don’t drink. If we slip, we lament, we come here feeling horrible, we ask for forgiveness or help. If we think that we’re going to drink we come here and ask for help. If we know that we’re going to drink we don’t come here and confess it to the board, we take the slip, suck it up, and come here and try to do better. I think that your post was the first post I have witnessed that said “Had fun last night drinking, going to do it again today, but that’s ok, I’m quitting tomorrow.”
Everyone wants to be here for you but in order for that to happen you need to take this seriously. You probably do and are having a hard time. However, that’s not how your post came across and it really hit the core of many good people here who are fighting the good fight. A very tough fight.
I hope and pray that Sunday is Day One for you and that you succeed. I know how hard this is. You can do this! We can be here to help you but you have to be serious and you have to want that help.
Be Well.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Hey Pinot,
I wanted to elaborate on the reaction you received. This is a recovery support site, not a drinking support site. If someone says they're drinking, they are generally not going get support. The same thing often happen with people who are tapering. When someone says "I only had 8 beers today, instead of 12!" - that does not exactly win over the support community.
When someone says "I'm quitting tomorrow, can I get a hug today?" the answer will most often be a firm "NO". This disease has brought many of us to our knees, literally and figuratively. Families, jobs, life and death often hang in the balance. Alcoholics battling this disease and in recovery quickly learn that actions speak louder than words. We have all said at one point in time that we're quitting tomorrow, next week, next month. Hearing you echo those words often causes the recovery community to bristle because we have directly experienced this.
Good luck in your recovery, and I hope you post here tomorrow to say "My FIRST day alcohol-free!", just watch, the tone will change here!
I wanted to elaborate on the reaction you received. This is a recovery support site, not a drinking support site. If someone says they're drinking, they are generally not going get support. The same thing often happen with people who are tapering. When someone says "I only had 8 beers today, instead of 12!" - that does not exactly win over the support community.
When someone says "I'm quitting tomorrow, can I get a hug today?" the answer will most often be a firm "NO". This disease has brought many of us to our knees, literally and figuratively. Families, jobs, life and death often hang in the balance. Alcoholics battling this disease and in recovery quickly learn that actions speak louder than words. We have all said at one point in time that we're quitting tomorrow, next week, next month. Hearing you echo those words often causes the recovery community to bristle because we have directly experienced this.
Good luck in your recovery, and I hope you post here tomorrow to say "My FIRST day alcohol-free!", just watch, the tone will change here!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 807
Hi Pinot, sorry you are not feeling supported. I just went back and read through your threads. You seem to have been on this roller coaster since last March. You even mention your friends visit and planning to drink. You had time to tell her you weren't drinking but gave yourself permission to drink. There will always be a friend visiting, or a holiday, or a party, or...a reason to drink. It is obvious you want to stop. Are you still seeing a therapist? I am thinking of you and really hope you can find the courage to commit to sobriety, your child deserves a sober mom and you deserve happiness. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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I quit drinking before the two hugest back to back drinking events of the year. I knew full well that I would not be able to go to these events so early in my sobriety, but I didn't want to wait until AFTER the events to quit drinking. Because I knew if I put it off any longer, I might have lost the strength and conviction I had to quit drinking.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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That was a great post Ladyblue
Pinot- I hope you come back here today. Our posts are from a place of concern and support. you've been a member since January, have said you are desperate and want to stop drinking. then you post about a WONDERFUL night you had drinking and are going to drink again. It doesn't sound like you think drinking is a serious problem OR it may be your AV talking?
We are all different, many people really hit rock bottom. I didn't in one sense but my life had become intolerable because of drinking so I quit. I personally also find it upsetting when someone goes on about the wonders of drinking and how they are keeping doing it.
Nothing will change until you stop drinking. Maybe you're not serious about it or ready yet,I don't know. Maybe you're trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem, I don't know. There will always be a reason/excuse to drink-party, friend visiting, wedding,christening, BBQ,holiday,hen weekend, evening with friends,Christmas,thanksgiving etc etc etc.It's just life and the crucial part of getting sober is adjusting to dealing with these events sober. Putting off sobriety till there are no events is impossible really as there will always be an event.
We are here to support you in quitting drinking. Please understand that our posts are from a place of concern and hope. Of course we support people who are quitting and struggling and relapse. I've relapsed many times. When you're ready to quit I hope you come back. SR is a great place and full of support
Pinot- I hope you come back here today. Our posts are from a place of concern and support. you've been a member since January, have said you are desperate and want to stop drinking. then you post about a WONDERFUL night you had drinking and are going to drink again. It doesn't sound like you think drinking is a serious problem OR it may be your AV talking?
We are all different, many people really hit rock bottom. I didn't in one sense but my life had become intolerable because of drinking so I quit. I personally also find it upsetting when someone goes on about the wonders of drinking and how they are keeping doing it.
Nothing will change until you stop drinking. Maybe you're not serious about it or ready yet,I don't know. Maybe you're trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem, I don't know. There will always be a reason/excuse to drink-party, friend visiting, wedding,christening, BBQ,holiday,hen weekend, evening with friends,Christmas,thanksgiving etc etc etc.It's just life and the crucial part of getting sober is adjusting to dealing with these events sober. Putting off sobriety till there are no events is impossible really as there will always be an event.
We are here to support you in quitting drinking. Please understand that our posts are from a place of concern and hope. Of course we support people who are quitting and struggling and relapse. I've relapsed many times. When you're ready to quit I hope you come back. SR is a great place and full of support
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