James18

I seem to be thinking differently this time about being sober. I'm beginning to see what a negative influence some people have on me and I'm not letting it happen anymore. If they don't like me being sober, then they no where the door is. One friend in particular is really pushy about drinking and we're going to end up falling out. I've known him for years and it won't be pretty, but I know it will come. I'm beginning to realize how much people resent you stopping drinking, because it says something to them about how they live their lives. It also takes away some people's ability to control and manipulate others. I am going to have a proper go at staying sober this time and no one is going to undo that other than me - it is down to me to say no, me to control MYSELF, and that isn't the job or place of anyone else in my life. I'm sick and tired of other people making me feel guilty for not doing what they want or doing what they won't. It's a childish tactic and I'm not standing for it anymore.

ZoeM

YAY! Well said you!!!

DarkDays

Only when you get sober do you realise how obsessed and in denial many are over their drinking.

Thank god I am a non conformist free person now

James18

I used to think it was cool all Rock n' Roll outsider behaviour drinking and taking drugs. How wrong you can be...Now I realize these people (and most of us who follow(ed) them were just damaged and on the edge.

I don't know much about false prophets, but the saying "false idols" certainly rings true.

DarkDays

I find being stone cold sober is so cool whilst all around you is slurring and following each other, sheep like.

UnixBer

Very well said! And inspiring too... It is my choice as well here to be a non-conformist, after conforming so long to ludicrous things. Other people can drink as much as they want, but I won't be like them. In fact, I will not conform to most rules of society as of now.

Not being exactly rebellious (a bit maybe) but that is what I'm going to do now. Heh. Heh. Great to have like-minded people.

ReadyAtLast

great post.good for you

keen2bclean

Well said! I'm pulling back from certain people too.

LadyBlue0527

James18 that is an awesome post! It's exactly my mindset when I quit this time. My sobriety belongs to ME and no one can take it away. I guard it and protect it. 82 days today and loving it!

You are on a good road

wakko

These are VERY wise words and critical for long term sobriety

Mirage74

Yea, great post, James. I know people who seriously threaten my sobriety too. This time I am doing everything possible not to let them bring me down with their negativity.

jazzfish

Thanks! I cave too easily to other people's pressures. I really need to adopt the attitude to proudly and loudly do what is right for me.

I quit drinking because it was making me miserable. Is misery really an acceptable tradeoff for people's friendship? it is truly sad and insane how often the answer to that question was 'yes'.

Mountainmanbob

in some cases you are right
many years ago I had a long term girlfriend
who would have preferred that I return to the drink
sober I recognized many of her character defects
drunk I didn't care much

she used me
I used her
neither one cared

Mountainman

ScottFromWI

Some of the changes we need to make for sobriety are not pleasant at the time, and one of them is sometimes quitting relationships with others that mainly exist because of alcohol. It's hard to do and that's a great move to realize it James.

You may not feel it now, but down the road, you will most likely find that alcohol was the only thing you has in common with these folks anyway.

aasharon90

I have to remind myself often that Acceptance
is a huge key in my recovery in helping me
remain sober each day. It's not right to take
anothers inventory if they don't meet my
expections.

When people, places and things are not
accepted on my part as they are suppose
to be, because I can't change them or it,
resentments can creep in my mind pretty
quickly and one important lesson Ive learned
in recovery is, if I harbor resentments towards
others or things, I could and possibly would
drink.

Which won't be a healthy way to solve those
nagging problems.

I have to take care of me, quietly, respectively,
in a healthy way using the tools I have learned
to use in my on going recovery.

I wouldn't be where I am today, happy, healthy,
honest in all my affairs if I don't practice the
principles and steps in situations that bug me.

A program of recovery can be affective if we
work it daily.

Listen, learn, absorb and apply to become the
best person you can be in recovery.

ChefUK

Well said James I think recovery can only happen when the person really wants it too, and it sounds like your in that mind frame now.

Anna

Yes! It's so important to put yourself and your sobriety first in the early days.

So often it seems that people are affected by family/friends/social activities and they miss the importance of putting your own needs first, at least initially.

pinkdog

Hi James, stay strong. There is a phenomenom called "sobriety resentment". I came across it myself, particularly from drinkers. Best thing to do is continue on as you are doing. At the end of the day, you are getting healthy. Sobriety is best. Hugs to you.

JumpnOn2

True/real friends are supportive or neutral. That's the way my friends are. A few of them drink a little and others drink a lot. That's our choice and we don't pass judgement on each other because of our choice. If one was pushy, that one made the decision to not be around me.

James18

Thanks for the positive replies - it was a bit of a rant really when I was grouchy, but gladly it came out as it should have (probably because I'm sober ).