justinegrace129

hello everyone I need to stop cutting myself and stop doing weed and triple Cs I need help badly. im craving to get high and drink a lot everytime. I don't want to go to a carrier. I had a bad blackout last night with my ex boyfriend and I wanted him to stab me but he stopped me. four people ran after me to stop making a big scene. but I was wanting the knife so bad. why do I have this **** going on with me? I want it to stop. I need to stop thinking bout getting high and getting drunk. but what if I relapse and cut myself again or get high or get drunk? I cant do this anymore. I want my life back. I want my ex boyfriend back. I don't want to kill myself over my whole family issues and me losing my ex over this. I have bad depression and aniexty attacks. and im bipolar. please someone help me I don't have anymore friends. I have my ex as my friend and doesn't want me to do this **** anymore and I have my friend Natasha that is helping me. I have my friend rose that is talking to me a little and my father and my aunt. but I cant keep losing people.

Windturbine

Would you consider going into a rehab centre so you can detox under medical supervision?

Stay safe

LuLu13

Hi Justine, I am sorry you are going through this. Are you under the care of a doctor for your bipolar disorder? I think you may want to consider getting professional help. It is not easy to break addictions especially when there are other mental health issues going on. Please keep posting and let us know what your recovery plan is.

Nuudawn

Aw sweetie it breaks my heart to hear of the demons you are fighting. Coming here is a great start as we really do need people to hear our stories and relate with our pain and struggle. But in addition to peer support, you need some professional allies as well. That's much too much to go it alone or with those not really knowing of what you speak. Do you have a therapist? Has the doc prescribed any med's? You NEED some professional attention ASAP hon. What you are fighting is not your fault. You are not a bad person. But you need to stop self medicating with destructive and poisonous and lethal things. You need to find the kind of help that will actually help hon.