Leahmarie9

So my fiancé was sober for 6 years got incarcerated came out of prison and began shooting again and had been since I met him. For the 1st 3 months of us being together I knew something wasn't right. He was always tired yet giddy and nodded off 24/7. He said it was because of Xanax. Then I saw the track marks the needles the filters of ciggs to use the cotton water bottle caps! I got so sick of it threw his stupid mix of drug down the drain flushed needles I wanted to punch him for putting me through all of this BS. I gave him an ultimatum about 4 months ago: detox or I'm gone. He went and detoxes for 7 days, we talked once a night for 10 minutes he sounded amazing! The day he got out he looked amazing gained weight so alive again I was ecstatic I finally had my love back. Not even a week after detox BOOM he's back on it just using suboxne when he couldn't get any dope. I didn't have it in me to move on all my support told me I could do better. I knew this but I also couldn't heal from loving him. Finally he gets kicked out from his parents. He's now in rehab we've barely spoken but exchange letters he's been to rehab 4 other time not including detox. This rehab has him on methadone and found him a clinic for when he gets out. He was very manipulative during the using I always thought there was something wrong with me because of it. Now he's out in less than a week I just received a letter of how sorry he is for everything he's put me through. (I've dabbled in different drug use with him to numb my sadness I guess in a way thinking well if youre high I mine as well enjoy the time together high also.) it's hard to believe him and regain the trust with us. I guess I'm looking for a piece of hope if there's any left. I know he has to do this for himself. If anymore information is needed I will provide.
Thank you to who ever has feedback that's honest with me.

Anna

There's always hope and I wish the best for you fiancé.

Have you considered AlAnon as a support for yourself?

Leahmarie9

I've been to many meetings understand addiction what's frustrating and makes me wish I could see into the future is: along with addictions comes manipulation and lies. Is he deeply apologizing to continue downhill or does he mean it this time. It's so frustrating. Thank you so much!