thewill

I feel behind bars. I look at everyone at the pubs this friday hot afternoon drinking beers laughing having a great time. I want that, I feel like this is a life prison sentence. I miss that feeling. Please Remind me why being sober is better then drinking. Btw 4 days sober here.

whiskeyman

even at day 4 youre not sober yet.
do something that you really enjoy today, and dont say drinking.

neferkamichael

Thewill, I suffered just like you in the beginning of my recovery, but 3 years sober all the anxiety and toture has subsided considerably and I don't miss the bars and partying one bit. Think about why you wanted to quit to begin with, obviously there was a lot of bad associated with the drinking and partying. I have proven theat my life is better without the booze. Rootin for ya.

Amajorityofone

I wrote this on day three of your walk. I believe it bares repeating.

The key word here is of course, why.

Know your "why."

Why did you stop drinking? This is crucial, because if your "why" isn't stronger than the urge to drink, which will come and go like the wind, you're going to have some real problems.


Hope this helps

susasober1

It depends on how much of a low you hit while you were drinking...for me, I felt like crap physically and experienced fierce anxiety that I cannot even describe. I got to the point where I couldn't get a thing done while I was drinking. Now at 15 months sober, I feel 15 years younger and am doing good things for myself and others that I would never be doing if I were still drinking.

It takes a while though and your body and mind will go through many changes along the way...when you think about drinking you have to play the tape all the way through. I too even after more than a year fantasize about drinking sometimes and then I play the tape through and realize that the best case scenario is that I will drink, wake up with a hangover and think, "Crap...now I have to start all over again." That is the best case scenario. For me, chances are I won't stop after that first incident of drinking and will continue into a full blown bender and screw up everything I have achieved in sobriety...but that's just my story.

Day 4 is very early in the game...keep going, keep posting and consider either going to an AA meeting or some other type of support group. The key for all of us is to get "out of our heads"...

Good luck and congratulations on getting through those first 4 days!

Lifewillgetbet

I have the same issue. I picked up a little trick along the way. Just avoid going to bars for awhile. Your just like me and have to stay away from the slippery places.
Day 4 is still fairly Sober Fresh. 4 days sober is still great. Good Job.

Anna

This is the hard part - this is where you start making changes to your lifestyle so that you can remember sober and recover.

ScottFromWI

It will get better, the first week is the worst. I would question what you are doing hanging out around pubs though to watch other drinkers. There are a million other things you could be doing. Stay strong!

kab

hi thywill,,,prayer for strength,all day long if needed,,,your are better off sober today,,,,u dont have to follow the crowd,live one day at a time,,or if need be pray for strength 1hr or 15 min at a time,whatever it takes,,,im will pray for u also,,, remember "JLY"

Nuudawn

Your sober life is new and you're still wearing the "booze blinders". I know for me..well, drinking became my only interest and hobby. So it stands to reason that as you still stand there on wobbly legs..well metaphorically, you've got your nose pushed up against the pub window pining for your greatest interest..the life you knew. Sobriety is a new life where you actually start to see the wonder in really simple things. (No, I'm not going to break out the guitar and start singing "koombayah"). But you literally don't know what you're missing as your life became incredibly one dimensional.

There is much more to life than sitting in a pub on a sunny afternoon. Nothing really occurs in a pub...I don't think even true camaraderie really as people are not truly present with one another. Problems aren't solved. Inspiration does not spark. Lessons aren't learned and knowledge is rarely gleaned. People kill time in pubs. They escape things there. Situations are suspended there...but you leave...and you're right back in your life. Time is likely better spent building a life you don't want to escape from.

doggonecarl

Remind yourself. This from your first post here:

"I am 30 years old, married to a great women with 2 beautiful young children."

Good reasons to be sober.

You are not in jail, but you are enslaved...by alcohol. Stay sober you will soon be free.

AlisonW

NuDawn this is a great post, thank you!

AlisonW

Thewill, I hated when people said this to me, but give it time. It will get better, sooo much better, but you have to get thru this part first. As nuudawn said, there is nothing worthwhile going on in pubs. Just a lot of wasted time, money and life. Good luck

JettBoy

I know for me at first I couldn't even go to dinner with friends that were drinking and I'm not a big drinker,dry goods are my problem. I take everyone's suggestions and stay away form the pubs and people drinking. It does pass,the cravings ,missing the booze and forgetting why you got sober to begin with. The first week is the hardest,it'll get easier. Stay on here and talk about what your feeling,I know for myself trying to do things my way and alone is a bad thing to do. Try meetings,go,raise your hand and connect with other recovering people.the best thing is to keep it a day at a time,I break it down to an hour at a time sometimes when I'm having a hard day.it will get better. Find other things to do that you enjoy and like was said just stay away from people places and things that may take you back to drinking. Like I always say, you are not alone and we are all just a click away if you need us...

shauninspain

I once read someone on here who said to 'Play the movie forward'. In other words think in detail about how things will progress for you in the next 24 hours if you do pick up a drink. It all feels very innocent and it'll be like old times. Nothing bad will happen and you'll enjoy a drink like normal drinkers. If you're an alcoholic it probably wont work out that way. I wish I had played the movie forward when I decided to have a couple of drinks, and I would have saved myself 3 months of ongoing worry, misery and regret.

Nuudawn

Great advice Shaun (and that is a brilliant pic..is that you?). I know playing it forward has helped me out more than once in my early sobriety.

Eleni58

"I look at everyone at the pubs this friday hot afternoon drinking beers laughing having a great time."

You probably need to redefine your definition of "laughing having a great time." You don't need to drink beer to laugh and have a great time. Also, think about how THEY will feel in the morning vs. how YOU will feel in the morning.

Mirage74

Also remember that I'd guess 70% (just a guess) of the people in those pubs on a sunny afternoon only have 2-3 beers and quit and go home, as only about 10% of the population are alcoholics. That's a luxury normal drinkers have. I used to do that too, but instead of going home after a few, I'd still be there at 2 am barely able to make it home. You have to decide if a few short hours of patio drinking are worth the consequences.

LadyBlue0527

You are on the mark Nuudawn!

The whole thing is so plastic. Everyone's excited because they are about to drink and they're just shooting the breeze. Then the alcohol comes which allows things to be said that would never be said if it wasn't present.

I often wonder how many of those people would stay and talk to their friends if the drinks sitting in front of them weren't alcohol. I also wonder how many would really plan to get together after work if the same were the case.

Realistically, can you see a bunch of co workers going to happy hour if there were no alcohol involved? LOL!

Dee74

Perceptions are funny things - I spent 5 years of my life, basically in one room, drinking, hiding...

I never considered that prison then, but I do now.

I look at everyone else running off to drink of a friday night - a vast mass of people - and I think they're enslaved too - they just don't know it.

maybe we're the free ones thewill?

Make of your life what you want man - you're not in prison

D