livingfreely

I lost it today when I woke up after another night of blacking out, late for work, (my job doesn't care if I show up late) and I called my mom crying for two hours and decided it is time I stop.

She completely understands, she's lived with my alcoholic dad for the last twenty something years, and she was worried I would inherit this. I've always been worried.

I just graduated college in May, and for the last four years I have done the crazy college drinking partying thing. Except I realize I can't handle alcohol the way other people do. If I have one drink I want twenty and then forty and then I'll wake up places I have no recollection of getting to, doing things I never would have imagined doing sober, etc.

I want to stop today and I already got 4 texts from my friends asking me to go out and drink tonight. All of my friends drink pretty heavily and pretty readily. I already told my best friend of my decision and she fully supports it. But I don't want to sit at home alone while everyone goes and drinks and I know I can't handle myself if I go out.

What should I do?

Hevyn

Welcome to SR livingfreely. I think you'll find some good suggestions here - many members are in a similar situation.

It's great that you see what drinking is doing to your life - I had to have my whole world unravel before I got it. I continued trying to manage the amounts I drank, determined to turn myself into a social drinker. As you've already found out - it isn't possible. Be proud of yourself for taking this action - you'll never regret it.

kiter

I'm sure you will get a lot of help here, but I am posting because I wanted to say that I share your anxiety...I am also on Day 1 and terrified, and all my friends---everyone I know---drinks all the time.
I know I need to quit, but I feel like I'm losing a part of myself--an often really fun part.
Anyway- just wanted to say that I know what you're going through.
Hang in there.

bookmaven

When I get sad and lonely and start to feel sorry for myself I find an AA meeting. It's a safe place to go and there's nothing like being able to talk to another drinker about not drinking and hearing what they do to get through the "but everyone else is doing it!" mindset that kept me in denial for a long time.

You'll find out who your real friends are.

livingfreely

kiter, I am literally in the exact same situation. I love alcohol and I love drinking and going out with my friends and I feel like this is just going to be completely life transforming and upsetting.

But I also think that we both signed up for this for a reason and when I think about how many ****** situations I've gotten myself into because of alcohol I can't afford to do that anymore. I want to learn to not expect for my main source of fun to be going out to the bars and drinking. There has to be so much more.

hang in there too, we can do this!

Hevyn, thank you I'm sorry you had to experience that, but I'm glad you are where you are now and doing much better! Thank you for the encouragement

mav

livingfreely (and kiter). I'm also new here. I'm on Day 4. I'm kind of in the opposite situation to you guys - none of the people around me drink much. Those that do can go out for one or two, and that that's it. They might have something on the weekend but nothing during the week. This is totally alien to me. I sit at home and drink every day like it's normal.

I don't know if it helps, but thinking about it like this puts it out of your control. Like it's something that you "have" like a disease. Try and turn it around - you need to be in control of it. You've already stepped closer by making the decision to stop (and telling your friend, which is huge). So now, think "i'm in control of this, not the drink". If you can think like that, then it's simpler to think "I'm in control and I don't want to drink. And i'm not going to drink."

Having said that, I've not yet been in a social situation with other people drinking around me. They will expect me to drink. I don't know what that's going to be like, so I'm putting that off for now.

livingfreely

Thank you, that does help to put things into perspective. If only I could control my ability to have a few drinks as well as I could control my ability not to have any drinks..

And your current situation is foreign territory to me but I am glad you will most likely experience less peer pressure to drink, which is a wonderful thing! Day 4 is great though, congratulations! We can do this.

Dee74

Hi and welcome livingfreely

you could do worse than read around here and post for a while - look at what other people have done, and find a way that you think might suit you best?

there's a ton of support here - really glad you found us

D

Pamel

I just read this post by amajorityofone,

"Don't worry about tomorrow. Don't worry about next week. Don't worry about next month. Don't worry about next year. Instead, put every ounce of your energy, meaning all of your mind, body, heart, and soul into staying clean and sober today."

link to that thread: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-struggle.html

LuLu13

Livingfreely, good for you for figuring out you have a problem at such a young age. If you decide to go the AA route look for young people groups in your area.

I read others' posts about not being able to go out and it is foreign to me. I always drank at home, alone usually. I sometimes wonder which is worse as I have to go home, LOL.

You can do this, sounds like your mom is great and you two are close. It is nice to have family support. Keep posting!