LoneJakalope

Everyone from work is getting together tonight. Do I lay the bombshell of being in recovery? Should I just order a red bull and vodka hold the vodka and just pretend? I'm not sure how to handle this situation. I haven't even told my family I've quit drinking. I just leave the house and walk around until everyone is asleep so I don't get wrapped up in the parties and drinking (and occasionally drugs). How have you guys coped with these issues? When is it the right time to tell people about my addiction and restraints?
Grant

ScottFromWI

I personally only told my immediate family and a handful of close friends. You really are under no obligation to tell anyone unless you want to. And frankly, most people don't care anyway. The alcoholic mind assumes others care, but its really just your disease trying another angle to get you t pick up again

ZoeM

Can you not bluff it - tell them you're on anti-biotics or something?

Itchy

I just told the truth from day one which was very honest but edited for mixed company. I simply said I quit drinking and smoking for health reasons. I wanted to get back to healthy diet and exercise, and I did! Don't you? If anybody starts the one drink won't hurt ya! or the two drinks a day are good for you according to docs just tell them that water or seltzer is better alone for you.

You did quit for your health right?

LoneJakalope

Thank you for the responses. Yes I definitely quit for my health, although more mental health than physical i don't think they need to know that. I like the honest approach. You're right too, Scott , it's probably not as big of a deal to them as it is to me. I guess "hiding" my Alcoholism in turn makes me want to hide the recovery from. I'll let you know how it goes tonight, I'm definitely headed to a meeting afterwards if for no reason other than to guarantee my sobriety tonight.
Grant

BikerAcct

You know, I've found, that even if I'm out with friends, if I order a coke or any other type of soft drink, no-one says anything or really even notices. On the occasion that someone did notice, I just said I didn't feel like drinking tonight.

PippoRossi

You'll do just fine, Lone. Like Scott already said, you don't owe anyone an explanation. Besides, they wouldn't understand anyway. Personally, I think any of the advice given would work just fine. You may find that being around people getting tipsy (or even drunk) while you remain sober is really quite annoying. The slurring speech, the laughing for no reason at all, etc., etc., really does get tiresome. That would be a good time for you to cut out early and head home. :-)

doggonecarl

Tell your work mates that you have something going on and you will catch them next time. Don't risk your sobriety at this early stage. There will be plenty of work gatherings you can attend later.

huntingtontx

I went to a party and brought my own drinks. Green tea. No one cared what I drank, and no one asked.

wiscsober

Pragmatic

1. Order your own drink...soda, Oj, seltzer with ice.
2. Have your own way out....a car.
3. Simply say if asked...tonight I don't want to drink.
4. Carry your own drink and carry something else in the other hand.
5. Again, if someone asks why...just say I don't feel like drinking.
6. Gravitate towards non-drinkers...they are easy to spot as you.
7. Step outside and call someone...your mother, someone in recovery...your kid.
8. Show up late and leave early.
9. Eat before you arrive and eat during the party.
10. Avoid drunkenness

Only a few times over many years have I engaged in conversations at parties concerning my alcohol abuse.

You have the exact same freedom to not drink as others have a right to imbibe.

Just play it cool and low-keyed

Dee74

I agree with Carl - it's best to be very nurturing of your recovery this early in IMO...making your excuses and crying off tonight would be the safest option, I think.

D

RedManc7

Yes this early into recovery I'd swerve going.
All the therapists I've ever seen have always said to avoid high risk situations completely if you can early on so unless its career threatening I'd make an excuse.

LoneJakalope

Well, I ended up going. Thankfully, I didn't drink. I found that as long as I kept drinking water (and I mean almost non-stop) that I could handle it, barely. You guys were right, once everyone started acting stupid it became less of an issue. I doubt I'll attend another event for awhile. Now to face the weekend and with this behind me, it almost seems possible. Thank you all for your inspiration and encouragement. :-)
Grant

LadyinBC

I personally wouldn't tell anyone at work that I was an alcoholic. Not in my old job or any new one I might start. I keep work and personal life totally separate. I wouldn't even tell previous co-workers.

RedManc7

Good on you mate. Keep yourself busy at the weekend, don't act on your urges, keep out of high risk situations (bars, parties etc)

Stay strong pal