A troubled sibling.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Marrero, LA
Posts: 3
A troubled sibling.
( I reposted this because of a friendly response that told me my post would be better suited here. )
I'm here because I just need really express all of my feelings on what's going on in my life at the moment. First things first, I live in my mother's home, and I am currently unemployed. Aside from living with my mother (who works), I also live with my sister (who also works) and her young child. (I may not be able to respond to any posts since my mother plans to cut off the cable bundle tomorrow due to it being too pricey, but as soon as I can go by my grandmother's home, I'll use the wi-fi there to check and see if I have any messages. I've never done this before--spoken online like this, so I'm really hoping I receive some kind of response.)
The reason I am posting this is because of my frustration over the fact that my sister--the baby of us two--has been smoking cigarettes, cigars, and marijuana since she was in her late teens and now at the age of 20, she is "grown" as she says and is smoking marijuana more frequently now while smoking a cigar or so every now and then. Let me remind you once againt that she has a young child--a child no more than 10 months, 11 months on the 20th of August. She can be the sweetest person ever, but she can also be mean, aggressive, and an impulsive liar. She is also very ... I want to say ... gullible? My mother says she's IN LOVE because she latches onto all of the BS that her ex-boyfriend tells her and then throws it at my mother in anger, even repeating his words to my mother.
She says that she's going out to a friend's or to the store and comes back smelling like marijuana hours later or with inflamed eyes. The first time she smoked it in my mom's house, it brought my mother to tears and she accused me of not seeing it because I just turn a blind eye to it, even though that was wrong to do. She's done it two other times after that, but now just comes back smelling or looking like she's loaded.
A little more than a week ago, she got into a fight with her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend and got a citation because of it. This is the second fight they've had. Said ex-boyfriend did nothing last time around, but grabbed her to allow his girlfriend to give my sister a black eye this time around. Yesterday, she seemed to be letting her back in, giggling and chatting him up on the phone. I just wanted to add that in, and the fact that my mom no longer likes her ex-boyfriend at all and doesn't want to see him around the house at all (and threatened to call the police) because he was the one who brought the new girlfriend over to fight my sister.
[She had that BS moment yesterday, telling my mom the same things he said to her. I think he threatened to have the baby taken away too, but he's not right in the head himself, so I'm sure the baby would come to my mother by default?) My mom washed her hands with my sister's and her ex-boyfriend's dealings because she is VERY frustrated herself. The continued drug use only ADDS to that frustration.
I don't understand my sister. I can't trust her. I don't feel comfortable around her, especially when she's high. I can't help but look at her with disdain. I love my sister, but I hate what she's doing and the fact that she can't even seem to "get her head on tight" as my mom says.
My mother has constantly had arguments with her, but nothing seems to get through to her. If she has another fight, she's going to be taken to jail. I worry that the baby will get taken away because of her addiction or that we, me and my mom, will somehow be in trouble because of her addiction.
Just today--it's very early in the morning--I left the room with intentions on peeking in on my nephew and her to see if they were still asleep and the smell of marijuana was STRONG. Opening the bathroom door, I found several remains of what I'm sure was marijuana in the toilet, just sitting there. I flushed the toilet and sprayed the bathoom because this is already stressful enough on my mom. She talked to my sister in the afternoon when she came back loaded and then she goes and does it again!
After spraying the bathroom, I sprayed the hallway and the kitchen and the living room before peeking into her room ... to find her not there! I saw the wooden door unlocked and found that the iron door was also unlocked, so I sprayed her room as well--which had finally stopped smelling like marijuana for a while now. (When she had come home then, the baby was in the room and the smell was very bad, very strong and she allowed her own child to stay in there with her.) Checking on my nephew, he was asleep thank god, I called my sister on the phone and told her that she needs to get home. She asked me if her baby was awake and I said no, but that she needed to come home. She said okay, but that was a lie.
10 minutes passed before I peaked out her window to see if she was going to come out of her friend's house, but she didn't. Then I headed towards the front door and opened the wooden door and heard her talking across the street. I waited several more minutes before calling again and a similar conversation came about, but I let her hear how annoyed I sounded and said I would lock all the doors until she decided she wanted to come back.
I think the marijuana has seriously messed with her brain.
Eventually, she came home ... loaded AGAIN! It's just ridiculous, and she has to go to work this morning. I told her that she has time to be across the street and smoke, but she can't be in the house with her child and sleep in preparation of getting up for the next day.
There's just so much going on--there has BEEN so much that's went on--it's just... I don't know what to do. What can me and my mom do?? She doesn't want her to smoke and neither do I and I can't help but think if this drug use will have bad effects on the baby if she just SMELLS like it and if someone will come into the house when she sneaks off into the night to talk to her friends and smoke and that someone try to hurt me or the baby.
I don't think she's going to stop anytime soon, and I've washed my hands with her a few times as well, but I still watch the baby when she goes to work because of my mother's schedule, she can't watch him most of the week so it falls to me because I am unemployed. I'm fine with that, but if she has money and hasn't smoked in a while, she's definetely going to lie and go out and buy her little $5 bag--like she told my mother VERY recently.
I hate how she's frustrating my mother and seems to be following the same path that our father followed and that she's exposing the baby to the disgusting smell.
Another thing, her FRIEND smokes and has a child, so I guess she just thinks it's okay for HER to smoke and have a child, also; a friend who cared about you wouldn't want you follow the same path--wouldn't smoke with you, I think. I don't like her friend anymore, haven't liked her for a while. I don't like the neighborhood we stay in.
If anyone has the time to respond to this and offer advice, support, a similar experience, or anything like that, please do. I'm just at a lost.
I've even read about having the police intervene--having my mom call the police on her. Is that even a GOOD decision? I feel like she's endangering the baby--I mean, she is. She definetely IS.
I'm here because I just need really express all of my feelings on what's going on in my life at the moment. First things first, I live in my mother's home, and I am currently unemployed. Aside from living with my mother (who works), I also live with my sister (who also works) and her young child. (I may not be able to respond to any posts since my mother plans to cut off the cable bundle tomorrow due to it being too pricey, but as soon as I can go by my grandmother's home, I'll use the wi-fi there to check and see if I have any messages. I've never done this before--spoken online like this, so I'm really hoping I receive some kind of response.)
The reason I am posting this is because of my frustration over the fact that my sister--the baby of us two--has been smoking cigarettes, cigars, and marijuana since she was in her late teens and now at the age of 20, she is "grown" as she says and is smoking marijuana more frequently now while smoking a cigar or so every now and then. Let me remind you once againt that she has a young child--a child no more than 10 months, 11 months on the 20th of August. She can be the sweetest person ever, but she can also be mean, aggressive, and an impulsive liar. She is also very ... I want to say ... gullible? My mother says she's IN LOVE because she latches onto all of the BS that her ex-boyfriend tells her and then throws it at my mother in anger, even repeating his words to my mother.
She says that she's going out to a friend's or to the store and comes back smelling like marijuana hours later or with inflamed eyes. The first time she smoked it in my mom's house, it brought my mother to tears and she accused me of not seeing it because I just turn a blind eye to it, even though that was wrong to do. She's done it two other times after that, but now just comes back smelling or looking like she's loaded.
A little more than a week ago, she got into a fight with her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend and got a citation because of it. This is the second fight they've had. Said ex-boyfriend did nothing last time around, but grabbed her to allow his girlfriend to give my sister a black eye this time around. Yesterday, she seemed to be letting her back in, giggling and chatting him up on the phone. I just wanted to add that in, and the fact that my mom no longer likes her ex-boyfriend at all and doesn't want to see him around the house at all (and threatened to call the police) because he was the one who brought the new girlfriend over to fight my sister.
[She had that BS moment yesterday, telling my mom the same things he said to her. I think he threatened to have the baby taken away too, but he's not right in the head himself, so I'm sure the baby would come to my mother by default?) My mom washed her hands with my sister's and her ex-boyfriend's dealings because she is VERY frustrated herself. The continued drug use only ADDS to that frustration.
I don't understand my sister. I can't trust her. I don't feel comfortable around her, especially when she's high. I can't help but look at her with disdain. I love my sister, but I hate what she's doing and the fact that she can't even seem to "get her head on tight" as my mom says.
My mother has constantly had arguments with her, but nothing seems to get through to her. If she has another fight, she's going to be taken to jail. I worry that the baby will get taken away because of her addiction or that we, me and my mom, will somehow be in trouble because of her addiction.
Just today--it's very early in the morning--I left the room with intentions on peeking in on my nephew and her to see if they were still asleep and the smell of marijuana was STRONG. Opening the bathroom door, I found several remains of what I'm sure was marijuana in the toilet, just sitting there. I flushed the toilet and sprayed the bathoom because this is already stressful enough on my mom. She talked to my sister in the afternoon when she came back loaded and then she goes and does it again!
After spraying the bathroom, I sprayed the hallway and the kitchen and the living room before peeking into her room ... to find her not there! I saw the wooden door unlocked and found that the iron door was also unlocked, so I sprayed her room as well--which had finally stopped smelling like marijuana for a while now. (When she had come home then, the baby was in the room and the smell was very bad, very strong and she allowed her own child to stay in there with her.) Checking on my nephew, he was asleep thank god, I called my sister on the phone and told her that she needs to get home. She asked me if her baby was awake and I said no, but that she needed to come home. She said okay, but that was a lie.
10 minutes passed before I peaked out her window to see if she was going to come out of her friend's house, but she didn't. Then I headed towards the front door and opened the wooden door and heard her talking across the street. I waited several more minutes before calling again and a similar conversation came about, but I let her hear how annoyed I sounded and said I would lock all the doors until she decided she wanted to come back.
I think the marijuana has seriously messed with her brain.
Eventually, she came home ... loaded AGAIN! It's just ridiculous, and she has to go to work this morning. I told her that she has time to be across the street and smoke, but she can't be in the house with her child and sleep in preparation of getting up for the next day.
There's just so much going on--there has BEEN so much that's went on--it's just... I don't know what to do. What can me and my mom do?? She doesn't want her to smoke and neither do I and I can't help but think if this drug use will have bad effects on the baby if she just SMELLS like it and if someone will come into the house when she sneaks off into the night to talk to her friends and smoke and that someone try to hurt me or the baby.
I don't think she's going to stop anytime soon, and I've washed my hands with her a few times as well, but I still watch the baby when she goes to work because of my mother's schedule, she can't watch him most of the week so it falls to me because I am unemployed. I'm fine with that, but if she has money and hasn't smoked in a while, she's definetely going to lie and go out and buy her little $5 bag--like she told my mother VERY recently.
I hate how she's frustrating my mother and seems to be following the same path that our father followed and that she's exposing the baby to the disgusting smell.
Another thing, her FRIEND smokes and has a child, so I guess she just thinks it's okay for HER to smoke and have a child, also; a friend who cared about you wouldn't want you follow the same path--wouldn't smoke with you, I think. I don't like her friend anymore, haven't liked her for a while. I don't like the neighborhood we stay in.
If anyone has the time to respond to this and offer advice, support, a similar experience, or anything like that, please do. I'm just at a lost.
I've even read about having the police intervene--having my mom call the police on her. Is that even a GOOD decision? I feel like she's endangering the baby--I mean, she is. She definetely IS.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Marrero, LA
Posts: 3
UPDATE:
I talked to my mom about what cleaninLI told me in a reply to my post in the original thread, and it really seemed to wake my mom up. I told her we needed to have a serious conversation, and I closed the door and pretty much relayed everything to her.
She called my grandmother, I believe, to ask about her taking my sister in after laying down the rules of not wanting the marijuana in the house anymore. (She was having another talk/argument with my sister before that, about the rules and whatever else. I wasn't in there.)
She definetely won't be able to smoke there, at my grandmother's--definetely because everyone is against it there and one of my aunt's there already HAS two young children. The only person that DOES smoke there is my grandmother who's in her 70s.
My sister blamed what she's doing on my mother because she has always viewed me as the favorite--doing things for me that my mother now won't do for her. No one made her smoke. She took that upon herself, but she does nothing but point fingers at everyone else rather than at herself.
She even had the gall to say once that marijuana isn't a drug. Really?? -__-
I talked to my mom about what cleaninLI told me in a reply to my post in the original thread, and it really seemed to wake my mom up. I told her we needed to have a serious conversation, and I closed the door and pretty much relayed everything to her.
She called my grandmother, I believe, to ask about her taking my sister in after laying down the rules of not wanting the marijuana in the house anymore. (She was having another talk/argument with my sister before that, about the rules and whatever else. I wasn't in there.)
She definetely won't be able to smoke there, at my grandmother's--definetely because everyone is against it there and one of my aunt's there already HAS two young children. The only person that DOES smoke there is my grandmother who's in her 70s.
My sister blamed what she's doing on my mother because she has always viewed me as the favorite--doing things for me that my mother now won't do for her. No one made her smoke. She took that upon herself, but she does nothing but point fingers at everyone else rather than at herself.
She even had the gall to say once that marijuana isn't a drug. Really?? -__-
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 157
I learned that it does no good to talk to someone when they are high on drugs, you might as well be talking to a wall. Try to have the discussion when she is not high because she will be able to think more clearly. Dont keep to yourselves how her smoking is affecting you and your mom because she needs to know it hurting relationships that she cares about. Sound like she does need someone to put strong house rules in place, but its got to be hard because of you niece being involved. This site is good because there are many stories here and it gives a lot of insight. If your dad has smoking problems or other drug problems then you might want to look at the forum here for children of addicts. Maybe some of that might be helpful in understanding your sister, maybe she is reacting to things from that?
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