PhxRick

Hi all!

Here I go, trying to stop my drinking for the 10000 time. I just finished day two which was hard, I got myself into a drinking routine which started at 2pm at my local sports bar and it goes down hill from there. At age 48 I've been drinking since I was in my 20s and Im afraid I dont have much time left on my clock.

Dont know what led me here, I think I was looking for info on liver damage. Glad I found this forum, hope it can help me too.

Well, thanks for the moment to intro myself. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Rick in Phoenix

keen2bclean

Hi Phx and ... You've found a place with lots of support and encouragement....I'm just starting day 2 for zillionth time so know how you're feeling...got in to the habit of afternoons onwards too...then passing out around 9 and waking up thru night with panic attacks...feels good to wake up with a clear head and conscience this morning...good luck with your journey

PhxRick

Thank you. Trying to find and do things to keep me away from the drinking places. Thats been hard the past 2 days. Any tips?

LuLu13

Welcome PhxRick, congratulations on your decision to quit. This is a great group. I cannot offer any great words of wisdom as I am new do this as well, think I am on day 24? All I can say is the standard one day at a time or, if need be, one minute at a time. It does get better, how are you feeling?

PhxRick

Had the shakes this morning, Im tried but cant fall asleep, thinking about taking a few night time sleep aids. My eyes, ugh, dark rings from hell, hate those. I look like Im 90 sometimes. Cant believe I let myself go so long. I guess the crutch of drinking was too strong for me. So many wasted day and years, sad when you look at it all.

Thanks for asking.

keen2bclean

I guess we just have to reroute our lives...stay away from the places and people that have been part of our drinking life, at least in the early stages...replace them with different activities, get busy in the house with stuff you've been putting off while in the bar all afternoon...easier said than done I know, especially when it (and they) have been part of your life for so long....but nothing changes unless we make those changes....time to grab the bull by the horns!

LuLu13

Withdrawal stinks, mine was horrible and I am probably lucky to be alive as I did it cold turkey, at home, by myself. The not sleeping thing is annoying, I still have that problem which is why I am on the boards now, LOL. By day 4 I felt almost normal and by day 5 I felt pretty good. You will be amazed at how quickly your physical appearance improves. My daughter did not see me until day 7 or 8 and her first comment was "you look skinny." It is kind of funny since I am far from skinny but the bloating in my face and stomach had gone away. My skin is in much better shape and I do not bruise every time I bump into something.

Hang in there and please keep posting. Most importantly if you have an urge to drink remember to come on here before you pick up that bottle or glass. Praying you feel better soon.

keen2bclean

Lulu13 so good to hear that you feel better physically too...I can feel the bloating that you refer to...my stomach feels like I'm 6mth pregnant at the moment...can feel the ache in my organs as well...I look like I've aged ten years in the last 12 mths .... Really hoping to see some health improvements too.

LuLu13

You will feel better soon, I promise. I was in sad shape during detox. could not keep even water down for the first three days. The shakes were so bad on day 1 and 2 I could not type or text. My stomach was horribly bloated and I would get incredible pains on occasion. My throat hurt so badly I had a hard time swallowing but by day 5 that had all resolved. Now it is just the emotional to deal with, not sure which is more difficult :-) Hang in there, the results are worth it.

PhxRick

Bless you all! Brought a tear to my eyes knowing that Im not alone in this. Oh boy, here come the emotions, wow, where have they been lately? I can finally talk with people who have lived and battled the demon and still battle him daily.

The only thing that is heavy on my mind is 2pm every afternoon. I gotta beat this before it beats me. Im thinking of buying a bike or gym membership and go at about 1pm so at 2 Im still doing something positive.

Thanks for all the support, it truly means a lot at this point in my life.

Dee74

Welcome Rick

This is a great community - glad you found us

D

keen2bclean

Thanks for this post...it's so encouraging to know that you have experienced such improvements physically I hope the emotional side of things follows suit for you...you've done so so well!

keen2bclean

Alcohol drowns so much of us...I found myself in tears yesterday ...good idea about the gym, but if you can't get there and that urge rears its ugly head, tell it its a no-go and get yourself back on here....you can do it!

LuLu13

Keen, thanks for the kudos. As tough as my detox was it helps to motivate me never to drink again, I hope. I cannot imagine how glamorous I looked projectile vomiting while sweating profusely and shaking. I do believe the emotional part will take awhile for all of us.

PhxRik, I never cry but have done so several times in the last 3 plus weeks. We are so used to being numb the emotions can be overwhelming.

I look forward to sharing both of your journeys!

PhxRick

Yeah, wow, whew, the dam behind my eyes burst tonight, my dog was looking at me funny, she's never seen me cry and I cant remember the last time either.

I have a friend here to help me, this is her pic, her name is Daisy and she's my love. We're going to get through this together! Long day 3 ahead, wish me luck!

Nuudawn

Hey Rick. At 46, I certainly know how you feel. I wasted a lot of good years drinking my life away. I'm just over 2 months sober and really, really happy about the decision to do the next half of my life sober. I just wish...well, if I had a do over..I think I honestly would have done the whole darn thing sober. The only thing I feel deprived of...is the years I lost.

Oh! Just saw the dog!!! What a sweetheart.

PhxRick

Congrats on the 2 months!

Yes I can relate, if only I could do it all over again.....

keen2bclean

Thanks lulu you did so well getting through the detox, if only we could bottle those feelings and open them up when our brain tries to bury them...I suppose it's human nature to forget pain eventually, in whatever form...I'm guessing there would only be one baby families across the globe otherwise your story is inspirational, keep going!

Rick Daisy is absolutely gorgeous! They pick up on our emotions more than we realise

PhxRick

Posting my pups photo made me realize how often I wasn't here for them, I have 3 dogs. They looked to me for love and attention and I only thought of myself and getting drunk.

I lived a very selfish life and Im just now seeing what harm I have done to others. Time to reflect on those who I have hurt and ask for forgiveness and with Gods guidance mend bridges I have burnt down.

Kat60

Welcome to SR Rick!
You can do this!
Hang in there and hang out here often!!