thislonelygirl

What are the tell tale signs your loved one has been drinking?
I almost find it humorous that they think they hide it so well.
I can always tell even if its a little.
My ah will make this weird clicking noise when he talks if hes been drinking.
Like hes smacking lol
Aside from that hell cry or get angry at the drop of a dime
And start talking nonsense but thats after awhile.
It always starts with the clicking and then the more he drinks the more obvious it is

BoxinRotz

His eyes get hairy and turn black. Literally. It has become the #1 fail proof sign that he is drinking for me aside from smelling it. His voice goes up. He gets angry n wants to pick. He avoids any physical contact with me. When asked if he bought a bottle, if he says: No... you want me too? I know it's almost gone. He runs out of breath when he talks. This is actually a new one for me that his son pointed out and he so does it! He will not sleep. He is up and down all night long! He has a huu huuu huuuu laugh that sounds so evil when he's drunk. That laugh is undeniable because it is so far off from his sober laugh. And he always ask me, You ok? when he's drunk.

Skymitchg

My ah speaks with more and more of an Irish accent. When sober he has no accent. He has never been to Ireland and none of his family has an accent. Plus he makes weird jokes no one can understand and his face goes slack.

blake1989

i've made a list like this because it's an assignment in a book i got.

the main ones for my girlfriend are:
-talks just a little louder (she's normally soft spoken)
-asks me to go to the supermarket with her (long story, but yeah)
-something happens with her eyes. not exactly bloodshot - just glassy

(i should add these are the signs she's had one or two....not 10)

Tuffgirl

I have nothing to add, except that the thread title cracked me up. Good one!

spiderqueen

For some reason, my A becomes obsessed with the word "absolutely", then has a harder and harder time enunciating it. But stubbornly keeps trying to say it.

Also, he talks and talks and talks, and seems not to hear my responses. And then is very confused by them, angry or offended - even if all I said was, "uh huh."

Yes, and the eyes. THE EYES!!!! Someone on SR once called them reptile eyes. My A's eyes become sort of owlish and exaggerated looking. In fact, his whole face starts to resemble a caricature of his sober face.

nbay2013

Mine told long stories that seemingly had no logical story line or ending....Wait! He did that sober too!

Mine was a closet drinker...we didn't live together...but with hindsight; he went on long complaining rants about life in general on the phone and it didn't really matter if I was listening.

thislonelygirl

Its interesting how unique some signs are to our a's
But then there are the ones that are identical.the emotional and talking non stop seem to be a big one.
My ah also gets offended if he thought you dont care about his story which too are long drawn out. Complaining seems to also be a hobby of theirs as well.

Smack smack smack lol

Crazed

One word answers when we would speak on the phone- avoiding conversation
Extra-overly-affectionate with the kids
Would lie on bed in silence, shaking leg as if she was frustrated
Slur
Ask questions that had been answered multiple times in the recent past

Wavy

For one or two drinks ABF doesn't have an obvious tell, but I still seem to know somehow. He has this extra exuberance when its early in a session and his smell changes, not to smell boozy as such, just different, maybe its the smell of pub, which is much more subtle since the smoking ban came in.

DreamsofSerenity

Yep.. Mine got totally emotional and talkative too. And he was always a complaining victim, drunk or sober.

Florence

My STBXAH was pretty subtle. After years of hiding it from friends, family, and coworkers, he was pretty good at it. Occasionally he would overshoot and suddenly, like, fall over. That only happened once or twice. Usually he would just get moody and secretive, he would take FOREVER to do anything, like cook dinner or go to the store, because he was in and out sneaking sips of vodka under the guise of smoking a cigarette or whatever.

He always used to drink out of opaque cups, like styrofoam containers or later a metal thermos. Eventually I realized that if I started seeing those, he was on it again. Before I was onto him, however, he just filled up water bottles with vodka and bet on me not knowing. I didn't know for a long, long time.

He used to pass out on the couch at all hours. His eyes would droop and when I asked if he was okay, he would say, "I'm just tired." If I encouraged him to get some sleep, since that's what tired people do, he would argue with me.

His face would go slack. Hi eyes would be glassy. If I complained he came down on me tenfold until I shut up.

spiderqueen

Oh yes, and a weird, high cackling laugh. It's awful. He actually has a beautiful, low, sexy man-giggle when sober. The laughs are utterly different - totally distinct.

I think that's why Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde is such a perfect analogy.

brownhorse

My XAH stinks after one sip. I do not think any of it is processed anymore. Helps me, because he usually smells for a few days and its how I got custody. CPS guy could even smell it and thought he was drinking then.

It is funny, not haha but strange. He thinks I make it up, that he is hiding it.

Sueski

Voice gets louder, repeats himself, speaks as though he has marbles in his mouth, repeats himself, gets very affectionate and friendly and HIGHLY offended if I'm not all over it, gets highly offended over nothing, repeats himself, gets overly and inappropriately sexual. If he's drunk enough, he gets the dead eyes. I hate that one. Oh, yeah, and he repeats himself.

Funny thing is, he doesn't think he behaves differently. I have a very hard time articulating to him how he is different, and he doesn't believe it anyway. The not-drinking promise lasted maybe three weeks, but at least I haven't seen the dead eyes since i came back. I hate the lies and the laughable attempts at coverup, but I guess an alcoholic is going to behave like an alcoholic. Sad. It just makes me sad.

Great thread title, though. Sometimes if I laugh I don't wanna cry so much.

thislonelygirl

I noticed a smell with my ah too. A musky smell
I think its him sweating it out. Its pretty gross lol

MTSlideAddict

My AH will get red and puffy in the cheeks first. Next you'll see a glaze in his eye, and catch a whiff of alcohol smell In certain winds. Then you'll see a glassy distant look in his eyes, and his demeanor becomes brave. This is usually when he wants to push for a better deal on our cable, or go ask the neighbor if they lost a non-existent frisbee just to meet the rugged skanky looking girlfriend. He'll come back home to laugh at the ******** meeting, and his drunk laugh is so distinct and annoying. The smell will be musty and exhume from his pores, and he becomes pushy which can turn to sadness or negativity in a split second. After a while, he'll get a wrinkle in his forehead like his eye lids are too heavy and he is concentrating to keep them open. He'll pass out soon for the night, and wake up the next morning like nothing happened.

NWGRITS

The eyes, but since I'm on the other side of the country, I got extra super duper good at picking out verbal cues. She slurs and has a metered speech. She's trying desperately to not slur her words. She also loses her filter and spits out the vitriol that she does a slightly better job of holding in when she's sober.

butterfly2013

My ex's eyelids would become very swollen and puffy whenever he drank. Dead giveaway every time!