Need alittle pep talk, feeling down
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 262
Need alittle pep talk, feeling down
Just needed to be reminded that I am doing the right thing. Some info; married 12 yrs to AH, has been some abuse, 2 DUI'S, Pfa right now. Moved out with kids in May. AH has tried to quit twice now in that time. Week and half ago he wrecked his Harley. Not bad, but enough. Daughter does not want to spend time with him. I am just feeling down today, second guessing myself. Do not like being broke, being without kids when they are at AH'S house. Having alot of wrong thoughts, like I should go back. Just need alittle reassurance today.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Babe,
It's HARD. Let's face it. We all have this naive dream that a miracle will happen and the drunk will get sober and become Prince Charming and we will live happily ever after.
But after 12 years, 2 DUIs, etc -- it doesn't look like that miracle is right on the other side of the door, does it?
I've been broke as a church mouse, I've cried when the kids have been at AXH's and called me and cried and wanted to come home and he hasn't let them. It's HARD. But it DOES get easier. And no money, house, belongings, lifestyle on earth can compare with the peace of NOT having to live with an actively drinking alcoholic.
It's HARD. Let's face it. We all have this naive dream that a miracle will happen and the drunk will get sober and become Prince Charming and we will live happily ever after.
But after 12 years, 2 DUIs, etc -- it doesn't look like that miracle is right on the other side of the door, does it?
I've been broke as a church mouse, I've cried when the kids have been at AXH's and called me and cried and wanted to come home and he hasn't let them. It's HARD. But it DOES get easier. And no money, house, belongings, lifestyle on earth can compare with the peace of NOT having to live with an actively drinking alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Omaha, NE
Posts: 87
Girl...I have been in your shoes. I made a decision to go back......I missed my kids, broke, and depressed. It was christmas time for me. I went and stayed Christmas Night and we all played house.....that was all I needed. Just a night to realize that is not what I want. I got on my knees the next day and reconnected and the next day, woke up realizing what a ding dong I was. By me going back is NOT going to change anything.....I have grown thru the years and become healthy. For me, it was losing my spiritual connection and getting depressed. Staying that night and seeing things for what they really were, snapped me back to reality. It gets easier.....get thru the tough times, and keep reaching out! U will be able to help another by going thru this girl!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 837
Yes, it is hard. It's been 2 yrs since the divorce and just now I'm finally letting myself remember some of the good times in our marriage. I know myself too well to let myself think about those times before now or I would still be back in the chaotic marriage drowning.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 262
And I know that the miracle is not going to happen. My daughter keeps reminding me of that. He is on his 2nd time in 3 months telling us he is done and no more drinking. This time it is 9 days so far, I think. He even went to church with his sister on Sunday!!?? Not really sure what that was about. I know it would only take one day of being there to bring me back to reality. I just hate his good boy days because I can not ignore them completely just yet. I am better than I used to be. Just needed to hear it from other people.
Skipper
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Texas, USA
Posts: 827
For me, One Day at a Time had to start with One Minute at a Time. Remember your Higher Power is in control of every situation. Yield to that, even if it's minute by minute. Don't bother with whether he went to church, with whom, and why. Work on which day it is that YOU are free from the madness of this Family Disease. Which day are YOU on?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: mentor ohio
Posts: 35
Prayer
HI MYFREEDOM.,,what i do when things are going wrong,,problems ,worries etc,i pray i ask jesus for help,,,,to help me do the right thing,,,,i pray also to keep me sober,,,today.i pray also for jesus to help the other people in my life,,for me prayer works , "jly" ,i hope i helped you even a little,,
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Myfreedom, LISTEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER. Out of the mouth of babes, right?
You are doing this for her, also. (aren't you).
It is natural to have apprehension of the future--of the unknown. But, please don't let this destroy your future.
He doesn't sound remotely ready for sobriety, at this time. You will regret it if you turn back to the same ole, same ole.
dandylion
You are doing this for her, also. (aren't you).
It is natural to have apprehension of the future--of the unknown. But, please don't let this destroy your future.
He doesn't sound remotely ready for sobriety, at this time. You will regret it if you turn back to the same ole, same ole.
dandylion
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
yeah. You might need a refresher course.
Maybe a weekend Continuing Education course with AH.
(now go hit yourself over the head yelling -- stupid, stupid, stupid)
Do not sweat it. My daughter is A LOT smarter than me, too.
How's that for a pep talk?
Maybe a weekend Continuing Education course with AH.
(now go hit yourself over the head yelling -- stupid, stupid, stupid)
Do not sweat it. My daughter is A LOT smarter than me, too.
How's that for a pep talk?
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