PinotNOmore

So I had my first appointment with a therapist last week and basically lied on the paper copy of the questionnaire! I'm not going to out myself on paper to a stranger that I don't know or trust and ruin my insurance and such! Anyhow, after the initial appt. I think she'll be a good fit, so now I'm wondering how to bring up my problem (drinking too much). I'm thinking of writing it down since I generally breakdown when talking about it, but is that weird?? When you finally sought help, how did you do it?

LadyinBC

I am not sure how this would ruin your insurance, I don't think your therapist can tell anyone what you are talking about?

I got an alcohol counselor and I was pretty upfron on my drinking and how much and for how long. I figured I had to be honest as if I wasn't, what was the point of even going?

There is nothing wrong with breaking down. We are human and I know for me it is always about my ego.

Nuudawn

Hi Pinot. First off, I think a therapist is a great aide in recovery. I consider mine some sort of wizard and I give her a lot of credit in helping me to put down the drink. It wasn't what I initially went to her for. I saw her for awhile before I admitted my alcohol issue. I live in Canada so don't know the issues regarding insurance where you are or how to address that. My first thought though was talk to her about it. You haven't put anything in writing and I wouldn't think she has to submit anything about the nature of your issue to insurance..but then again, I don't know. Hopefully, someone will be along soon to address that part more.

I just wanted to say "hey" and I hope you find your therapist as much a help as I find mine : )

LuLu13

Hi Pinot, I worked in the health insurance industry for over 20 years. Are you in the US? If so, how would this mess with your insurance?

EndGameNYC

Everyone lies to their therapist. I lied to mine, and working as a psychotherapist is part of what I do for a living.

Here's my thing. You shouldn't feel pressured to talk about anything in particular in therapy. It may help you to make a commitment to yourself that if you don't want to talk about something, then you don't talk about it. Good therapists acknowledge this from the get-go, even though not all of them put this into words.

Honesty is a great thing in any relationship, but feeling pressured to be or to feel any particular way usually doesn't end well. Very few people divulge all their secrets when starting a new relationship, and people who do usually have other stuff to deal with.

It's not what we say or don't say in therapy; it's the relationship that heals.

PinotNOmore

I am in the us... I'm... scared because I went to the er on unrelated issues in 2009 and still couldn't get covered years later because of that one visit. I have good insurance now, But I'll always worry

stacia lives

PinotNOmore (love your creative name!)

Congratulations on finding a therapist! You just gained another life cheerleader! Like you, at first, I was leery of writing exact amounts of alcohol use and divulging my darkness. But when I walked through the door, I reminded myself that I was coming to a professional to help me out of something I couldn't help myself out of. You wouldn't go to a taco stand for a Matza Ball, right! Your there to seek your truth, so speak your truth, even if its through a river of tears! ((hugs)).

I've seen a therapist for a few years and for me, brutal honesty has been my salvation! I know its hard, but for me, the biggest successes in my process have been saying things out loud that I would never admit to my own dog. Dedication to this is the only reason I am here and sober today. You'll get the hang of it- in a little while you'll be chatting over the clock lol.

As for privacy: If she is indeed a licensed therapist, she is not allowed to discuss ANYTHING with ANYONE unless you release a form of written consent with specific content of the matter of discussion. The Privacy Policies should have been part of the paperwork you filled out on the first day. The only way that she can speak at all about your discussions, hand over or forward any paperwork is to the authorities if she feels that you are a harm to yourself or anyone else (ie. you are in imminent danger of killing yourself or someone else) PERIOD!

As far as insurance: this is just a coding thing. Insurance doesnt look at how many glasses of wine you drink. They look at a code- your code should document (in numbers) "General Therapy". You can ask the receptionist what they code your charges to the insurance.

Even if you have filled out the paperwork and still have questions be forthright about your concerns. This may help open a communication with your therapist that leads to you feeling safe to share more than you originally thought. Her response will give you everything you need to know.

Good Luck, You are going to do great my friend!

stacia lives

If your therapist is an "addiction therapist" and you don't want that to show on your insurance, you can ask them to code it as a "General therapy".
I've found, that as long as the premium & insurance reimbursement is the same, dr's are happy to help their patients.
Stacia

stacia lives

WELL said EndGameNYC!
"It's not what we say or don't say in therapy; it's the relationship that heals"

soberclover

I'm a therapist and I lied to myself....hahahaha! Your therapist is working for YOU. YOU deserve to get what you need so don't be afraid about talking about what is going on with your drinking. Not many people tell the truth at the beginning and your therapist won't be shocked. I think you are very brave for deciding to address issues that are going on in your life!

wakko

I would highly recommend some one who specializes in addiction and if they are in recovery better yet. Our secrets keep us sick so be honest

miamifella

What sort of questionnaire was this? Was this for the insurance company?

PinotNOmore

Thank you all so much for your responses! I've written my issues down and have an appt next week to "follow up". I am praying I have the courage to give her my letter. I am so ready to end this cycle, but it is terrifying at the same time.

bookmaven

When I first started therapy I wrote my concerns down too. I also did not tell my therapist everything in the beginning. Eventually when I did talk about my alcohol and drugs I found that the advice he gave me was so much more useful than when I lied about it. Could have saved me hundreds of dollars by being honest right away.


I agree that our secrets keep us sick.

Take care!

Louise82

Well done for writing down what you wanted to and planning to give her the letter, P. When you see her, just ask "please can you read this?" and hand her the piece of paper. I also feel much more comfortable writing down things like this than talking about them. Hope it goes well!

visch1

Hi. I'm an alcoholic and I TRY to be honest in my affairs. If going to see someone for help with my problems which can lead to a relapse, for me it's insanity not to be totally honest. Let's face it, sobriety is our most important thing we can do in our lifetime, it's not a dress rehearsal for something else. BE WELL