mermaid60

I recently discovered my boyfriend of 3 years is an alcoholic and is using drugs. He is (was) in the military and we have always lived apart. Until recently I had not noticed him drinking excessively, however, I would see him pushing away from things in his life that he should have been upset about. Two months ago I noticed a change in his behavior. Long story short, he has been living about 3 different lives. One with a wife across the country, one with me, and one with the military where he has another girlfriend. Our relationship was the best I have ever had, he was wonderful to me. Now I have found out he was using marijuana and cocaine along with the drinking. I found out who the girl friend is because he would talk about her, and tell me all of the "bad" things she was doing with another guy from work. When it all came to light the "other guy" was HIM. I planned to meet him and try and force him to get treatment, but he refused, so i called his command. Now he hates me and I am questioning my own intentions. I realize that someone had to help him. I feel so guilty and confused. I find myself trying to figure out what was really going on for 3 years. I just don't know how to move forward. any suggestions?

hypochondriac

You are not responsible for any of his actions. He was an arse, what's there to figure out? I know it hurts right now but it will get better x