Outdoorsman

I was never able to moderate. To be honest, I don't see the point in drinking in moderation. I always thought the point of drinking alcohol was to get drunk and I still do. I still to this day wonder why someone would just have a few and quit. I don't get it. I'm at the bar for one reason, and that's to get drunk. And believe me, I'm very good at it! I can't go out and have a few and have a good time. I'd rather drink pop and stay sober if I knew I only could have a few. I guess I'm just wired wrong and I'm a drunk. Society can push moderation, but it just doesn't work for some people. End of rant...

Jsober

Agree. Responsible drinking is not for me. I tried and failed many times. Like you, even if I could I wouldn't enjoy it. It was just easier for me to give it up altogether.
You're not wired wrong, it's just like having an allergy. Many people are here have the same allergy. And you're right, if you have the allergy moderation will not work on the long run.

Eleni58

With you all the way on this one, Outdoorsman! I am the same way.

hypochondriac

My aim was always to drink lots and not get drunk. I always said I loved drinking but hated being drunk. I tried from the outset to increase my tolerance. I always thought drunkenness was sloppy and undignified. I still ended up getting drunk but always in private. Later on I just wanted to magically be able to drink less because it was affecting my health and scaring me. I worked so hard to be able to be a big drinker but I didn't think it through.

roberooski

I seriously could have written that post!!!! I don't get the whole "1 drink" thing. This sounds so incredibly naive, I know, but, for example, I was at a play yesterday and someone bought a beer during intermission. You could bring it back into the theatre, which he did. He drank 1 beer. I thought "What was the point of that?"

My examples of drinking alcohol in my past were all alcoholics who consumed mass quantities for the purpose of getting drunk. I'm thinking that might be the source of my perspective, so seeing people have 1 just never made any sense to me. Unless you intend to "feel it", what's the point?

I'm glad you posted this!!! Thank you!

Nuudawn

I'm with you Outdoorsman. I know in previous quits I pined for the ability to moderate ...but what I really wanted was to be "normal"..to fit in with the bloody herd. There was also still the romance I saw in it to (also now dispelled). I was out with a friend recently who I don't think has a drinking problem (pot? maybe). At any rate, I ordered this virgin frozen strawbery margarita as a nearby restaurant makes the most fabulous one ever. It even looks pretty. Anyways, he tasted mine and liked it so he ordered one..but one with tequila of course. He got his and made a face when he sipped it. He said "yours tastes a lot better". It was very hot and I ended up ordered another one..as did he..again, with the tequila. The guy didn't care if he had the booze or not...he was just too embarrassed to order one without it.

My drinking issue had a whole lot to do with a self esteem issue. I don't give a crap what people think when I order a virgin marg or shirley temple. They taste good dammit.

Outdoorsman

I wanted to vent and get it off my chest. Brace yourself, Im gonna say something controversial... You don't have society telling people to use meth in moderation. Alcohol is also a dangerous drug that kills and destroys lives but society promotes it and celebrates it. And those of us that can't handle alcohol get stigmatized. I make no excuses for myself. I now understand that alcohol has no place in my life. Just wish I could have all the years back wasted being in a drunken fog.

This site is a wonderful tool and I check it often. I've read about keeping notes as reminders of reasons not to drink. These threads do the same and I have been checking in several times a day.

Amajorityofone

Friend-

Based on your testimony, you've been clean less than 30 days. Thus, don't delude yourself into thinking you've "got this". For even after a whole year in the "sober saddle", I never, ever, forget that the most important day will always be TODAY.

I say this because there WILL be days, say, nine months from now when one, single, BEER sounds goooooood. Especially after working on your yard for say, eight straight hours in the hot sun.

At this point in time, it is especially important to know and to remember your "why?" Why did you stop drinking in the first place? For when the spaghetti really hits the pan, it is this reason, and this reason alone which keeps me from picking up the bottle again.

Good luck and God Bless

Outdoorsman

You are right. I am new to recovery. I've read lots of posts and experiences of others which I do not take lightly. I have all those rotten memories why I decided to quit and I rehash them all the time. There will be temptation down the road, but I have my will power, my memories, and I also have these posts as a reminder.

Amajorityofone

Abraham Lincoln once said-

"The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time."

Thank God!

Soberpotamus

Society can moderate (and can celebrate and push alcohol on the public) because there is only a small minority of society who are alcoholics. Problem drinkers supposedly take up only around 10% of the total population, and consume about 50% of the alcohol produced. Pretty amazing when you think about it.

Moderation is a natural thing for a "normal" drinker. They don't want to go past a certain point, because their body and brain responds normally to the effects, and it doesn't want anymore. They supposedly don't get that euphoric response we do.

So... since you are in the 10% group, why rant and get upset over it? It is what it is. Just be thankful you are educated and aware of it at this point, and can now act accordingly.

Junegirl

I'm just glad I finally realized and accepted that I can't moderate. You know the old saying about alcoholics going back to "normal" drinking: You can turn a cucumber into a pickle, but you can never turn a pickle back into a cucumber...
So here I am- a pickle! I just have to learn to live with that fact.

June

Serenity1972

To be honest I am not able to moderate. My SO is able to moderate. He can buy a 12 pack and it will last him a month. I don't see the point in drinking 1 beer either. Heck, I am usually the one that finished off that 12 pack for him in less than a day. I am an alcoholic and that is it. I know I can't pick up that first drink or I am screwed, but it is what it is and I just have to deal with it.

Outdoorsman

The point of my rant is that a lot of drunks strive to be able to moderate. It's not possible for some people such as myself. Advertisements constantly push "enjoy in moderation", "drink responsibly", etc when they know damn well that's not possible for some. Drinking turns me into a irresponsible idiot and makes me sick.

Saddler

I always have this thought in my head if someone asks me if I want to go get a beer: "No, I want to go get about 10 beers".

Outdoorsman

That's so true. I always had a plan to get drunk and it always involved drinking to excess. Towards the end I was getting sick/full from beer and was supplementing the beer drinking by mixing in vodka drinks, shots, and sipping disaronno.

bigsombrero

Completely agree. My drinking brain cannot comprehend "one beer" or "one vodka tonic". To me it's akin to standing in the desert on a really hot day, then go and stand right next to the swimming pool but you can't go in. What's the point? Sounds like torture. These days I stay out of the desert all together and avoid that problem.

BTW, same philosophy applies to non-alcoholic beers in my opinion as well. What's the point? You gonna slam 10 of 'em? I wouldn't touch one of those either.

Scram

"You want to go grab a beer sometime?"

This was always the weirdest statement to me. Like, who wants a beer? Might as well take a Benadryl. Oh, and I have a number of buddies who love discussing their favorite microbrews. Pardon my language, but who the hell drinks alcohol for the taste? It tastes like ****. You drink to get drunk.

Anyway, my favorite quote about moderation:

"When I tried to control my drinking I couldn't enjoy it. And when I enjoyed my drinking I couldn't control it."

cascademn

Hey Outdoorsman and fellow Minnesotan,
You hit it right on the head. I just don't get moderation on any level. Never did, never will. There was never a time when I drank that I didn't want to get completely jacked up. I'll be having a pop, too, thank you.

Cheers,
Cas

Outdoorsman

I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way in regards to moderation. Thanks for all the personal feedback.