DS777

I did something on Saturday night that I am so ashamed of I can barely even think about it let alone talk about it and its making me feel utterly miserable.

I want to share it but I worried about humiliating myself on here.

tate9685

No judgment here. Free yourself.

AlisonW

I've never seen anyone here be anything but caring and supportive. Whatever it is, I'm sure you are not the only one of us who's done something they are not proud of. Everyone is here to listen

Mizzuno

Well, it is your choice to share. I have done plenty of things that I could barely let out. The last incident I had while drinking should of had me committed to an Asylum. So, I hear ya.
Please know that you are not alone. I am the last to judge anyone, and this site has no room for judgement. We just dont do that.

elderine

I think all of us can relate, DS. I've done so many cringeworthy things while drunk.

doggonecarl

You can't change the past. So focus on what you change change...your recovery. What can you do to ensure you have a process in place to ensure such humiliating events never happen again?

DS777

erm...............ok, here goes

I crashed at a friend's house and ended up sharing the bed with them and had a dream in the night that I was on the loo and I sort of did a wee!!!!!!

I was mortified in the morning, I didn't mean to, we were both drunk and they promised they wouldn't tell anyone and I'm so freaked out that they will and everyone will know and they will all laugh at me and I'll be a laughing stock.

I wish I could just disappear.

ScottFromWI

You didn't harm anyone or cause any permanent damage. Embarrassing? Definitely. End of the world? Definitely not. Everyone here has done things we regret because of drinking. The only real reason you should feel bad about this incident is if you don't see it for what it is....a sign that alcohol has control over you. And moving forward to make sure it doesn't happen again. Do you have a plan to quit today?

tate9685

If this person is a true friend you don't have to be concerned with them telling anyone. It's very common for people who have had too much to drink to pee or wee the bed. It's o.k. It will be old new in a matter of days. I once went out with a guy who peed the bed on our first night together (after drinking).... I liked him so much I never mentioned it and kept seeing him. It's not so bad.

ReadyAtLast

There are worse things you could have done.Yes,it's embarrassing but you've not hurt someone.Forget the past,concentrate on what you are going to do now on your recovery to ensure you never have to go through this sort of thing again

MatildaRose

Alcohol is a mighty foe. This video might help you feel better. Craig Ferguson Talks About Life As A Recovering Alcoholic - YouTube

Mizzuno

I can understand your embarrassment. There are worse things that could have happened. No one was hurt, and if they are your friends then the information will stay with them and you. I would let this be a sign that quitting is in order.
I have had some moments myself where holding my head up to face the world was not something that I could do. I lost my job, dignity, and anyone who was on that plane most likely thinks I am a serious lunatic. I am sober now, and you too can be sober and walk away from this unscathed.
I do understand. You are not alone.

soberclover

I agree that the main point here is for you to think about how you can not put yourself in another situation that you will regret. Clearly your blood alcohol content was so high that your motor facilities were impacted. Does the joy you get from drinking outweigh the joy you get from being sober?

shauninspain

That's not so bad. One night I stayed over after a stag night, and during the night I arose from the sofa, walked over to the huge pile of unopened wedding presents and relieved myself all over them.

I then let myself out of the house. They found me at 4am 1 1/2 miles from the house walking down the street in my underwear.

My invitation to the wedding was hastily withdrawn.

On another occasion I was awoken by my then girlfriend to find myself in her closet squatting down, with a 1/2 kilo turd in my hand.

The relationship seemed to fade after this.

Lifewillgetbet

Its not that mortifying. Its done. Its over. You didnt hurt anyone, so your good. Is it embarrassing? Yup. But your safe. Your ego may be slightly damaged but its okay.

Nuudawn

Aw..here I thought you were gonna say something like you squeezed the life out of the neighbor's cat or frightened small children like a drunken circus freak : ) You had an embarrassing accident caused by ugly alcohol. There used to be a reality television show here in North America called the Surreal Life where they bunched up half a dozen out of work actors no longer in there glory to live in some house for a week. The show was usually a whole lot of silly drunken antics and drama right there in front of millions of viewers (many of the celebrity guests usually showed up years later on another reality show called "Celebrity Rehab"). Anyhoo, the fellow who played Mini Me in Austin Powers tied one on one night (I don't imagine it would take much alcohol given his small stature). He used to drive around the show on a motorized scooter. Well the poor guy was just hammered driving around his scooter into everything naked until he crashed into the corner. Then he hops off the scooter and proceeds to urinate in the corner of the living room of this lovely California mansion. He was caught by his housemates (and of course on camera) and the guy was delirious. I will never forget the actor (who had played Peter Brady in the Brady Bunch) carrying him like a baby back to bed. I just can't imagine how embarrassed that poor guy was in the morning.

I know you're embarrassed ..and I certainly empathasize with that...but allow the miserable way you feel fuel your desire for a sober life. We all know it wouldn't have happened without that poison alcohol.

hypochondriac

Pah, even non alcoholics do that. A friend I was living with brought a guy home one night who wet the bed. It didn't even put her off him. My brother-in-law nearly did it in my parents wardrobe one night when he was sleepwalking. He was but naked at the time and woke my mum up opening the wardrobe. I did it myself once when drunk and relieved myself on the living room floor. I think I had passed out at the time. It happens.

DS777

Thanks everyone

You know the weird thing is, that if it was someone else telling me this on SR I would be doing the exact same thing and saying it's not so bad, you haven't hurt anyone etc...thing is I can't extend the same to myself, WHY NOT?

shauninspain and mizzuno, thank you for sharing some of your embarrassing moments to help me feel better, that is so sweet of you and I really appreciate your honesty and sense of humour!

I feel so rubbish as well because I think, can things get any lower? How low am I going to go? My self esteem is pretty down there right now.

Have you guys regained your dignity, self esteem?

D x

DS777

nuudawn, everytime I see your profile pic it makes me laugh, its so funny!

Thanks for your post, no luckily I didn't do anything quite as dramatic as that but it stings like a bar****d!

I remember that guy, never saw the series, don't know if it's ever aired over here in the UK.

x

shauninspain

Well strangely it wasn't until many years after the 1/2 kilo incident, and long after the relationship had ended, that I even considered what I did might have put her off me! It just didn't register. haha. As I recall I just went downstairs, threw it into the toilet and went back to bed as though nothing of any real importance had just happened.

But yes, I did regain my dignity etc. Until that is something else would happen to strip me of it again. I am determined never to loose it again though. Hope you are feeling a bit better now. In the giant scheme of things it's not worth getting to stressed about.

I just thought of an incident that I did witness years ago. A lad at a party that I attended passed out. A few present at the party pulled his trousers and underwear down, procured a rather large courgette from the fridge and smeared chocolate paste over it, along with a drop or two of tomato sauce and placed it into his hand . He looked a right state. Upon awakening he screamed and sobbed like a baby until it dawned on him it was all a prank.