He keeps calling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 149
He keeps calling
I haven't been with him for three months. I originally told him that I wanted no contact when I broke up with him and moved out. Then he was like " I can't imagine you not in my life in some way, even as a friend. " I thought " we'll maybe we could be distant friends , we were together for ten years." I have only talked to him a handful of times and have realized that I just don't like talking to him. He is always the one to call and I kind of dread it. The calls are very painful for me. i am suspicious that he wants more than friendship and i just don't feel that way about him after all the trauma he put me through.
Recently he moved to a new christian sober living facility and part of the first month is no phone calls. It was great for me, it really gave me some much needed distance and I found my healing rapidly speeding up. So exactly one month from the day they took his phone, he's calling me. He's called 4 times is 4 days and I haven't answered. You would think he would take a hint... But he's very willful. I did so much work to get away from him, yet i feel he is still trying to invade my life. I should never have agreed to be distant friends with him, he has never respected my boundaries before, what was I thinking?
It hurts the thought of telling him to stop calling, I wish he would just stop. It feels like breaking up all over again. But I know talking with him will lead nowhere good, and I just can't have the chaos in my life again. How do I find the strength. Amazing that after moving into my own apartment and leaving a 10 year relationship, I am still searching for strength.
Another complication...I have his stuff in my storage because he was in rehab when we gave up the apartment and he couldn't come out to get his stuff... Documents, family pics etc. he also can't have the stuff where he is now. Having his belongings feels like a burden and I want to get rid of them, but I also know it is all he has and want to get it back go him in good condition. What is the best way to handle this...I am not doing Nything now, because I am confused and not sure how to handle this.
Recently he moved to a new christian sober living facility and part of the first month is no phone calls. It was great for me, it really gave me some much needed distance and I found my healing rapidly speeding up. So exactly one month from the day they took his phone, he's calling me. He's called 4 times is 4 days and I haven't answered. You would think he would take a hint... But he's very willful. I did so much work to get away from him, yet i feel he is still trying to invade my life. I should never have agreed to be distant friends with him, he has never respected my boundaries before, what was I thinking?
It hurts the thought of telling him to stop calling, I wish he would just stop. It feels like breaking up all over again. But I know talking with him will lead nowhere good, and I just can't have the chaos in my life again. How do I find the strength. Amazing that after moving into my own apartment and leaving a 10 year relationship, I am still searching for strength.
Another complication...I have his stuff in my storage because he was in rehab when we gave up the apartment and he couldn't come out to get his stuff... Documents, family pics etc. he also can't have the stuff where he is now. Having his belongings feels like a burden and I want to get rid of them, but I also know it is all he has and want to get it back go him in good condition. What is the best way to handle this...I am not doing Nything now, because I am confused and not sure how to handle this.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,218
Could you block his number? Would you be willing to do that?
I like the other suggestion given about mailing his things to his parents as well, if that is possible.
Sounds like you felt great during the month of no contact and it really confirmed what you already knew in your heart, that he is not a good influence in your life.
Time to take care of YOU.
And I was in a nine year relationship before being with my AH now. It's just hard when something and someone had been part of your daily routine for so long, even if you know that not being together anymore is the right thing! Don't be so hard on yourself, time will restore you.
I like the other suggestion given about mailing his things to his parents as well, if that is possible.
Sounds like you felt great during the month of no contact and it really confirmed what you already knew in your heart, that he is not a good influence in your life.
Time to take care of YOU.
And I was in a nine year relationship before being with my AH now. It's just hard when something and someone had been part of your daily routine for so long, even if you know that not being together anymore is the right thing! Don't be so hard on yourself, time will restore you.
Skipper
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Texas, USA
Posts: 827
Another option about his stuff: separate your stuff out. Pay for 30-60 more days of storage for his stuff and put in your cancellation of that storage unit. Mail him the key and let him know that your payment of that storage unit ends on X date. He would have the options of A) Extending the storage contract under his own name/payment B) going to move his stuff out before X date, or C) asking someone else to move his stuff out before X date.
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