NevarCiots

So here I am at work. A little tired from a huge binge that involved 9 24 oz. cans of beer. Thinking about why I drink so much.

The taste, the feeling? Neither.

I drink to shorten my life expectancy as much as possible. Life to me is boring, stressful and lonely.

What happened to me??? Drinking everyday, smoking cigs in between, eating ramen because im sooo poor from buying beer all the time.

Im a salesman in the airport and everyone, the travelers are just SO.DAMN. HAPPY.
I don't know why I am calling death. I just am. Please just talk to/message me everyone. I know we have never met in person, but do you care about me?

I am here for 7 more hours. Just, I don't know. Just please. Please help me feel better.

JumpnOn2

Hi Nevar .. at work and I guess feeling a little rough. I would bet not all the happy looking ones are happy... stick around longer .

Amajorityofone

“A strong man cannot help a weaker unless the weaker is willing to be helped, and even then the weak man must become strong of himself; he must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition.”
― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

Good luck and God Bless

ISPYSOBRIETY

There are faster ways to end life. But you already know that, right? So obviously, your subconscious is aware of that also. Don't be so quick to overthink the depression of being disappointed with life in general, because it's something we all go through. BUT, there's something inside of you telling you to numb it all for now with alcohol, and go on day to day and just see what happens. This, in and of itself indicates you want to go slow, because you aren't sure of what's depressing you. That's good. That gives you time to TRY THINGS OUT. Starting out with sobriety, as a new personal adventure isn't as bad as the world or the inner addict makes it out to be. Taking it all as a time out, for personal cleansing, a water break.... This can be rather empowering. It can teach you that at any point in life, the 'norm' can change and new adventures can be yours.

NevarCiots

Re-reading my post I feel like such a child. Im a 28 year old child. A joke. I woke up this morning with a lemon sized bruise on my bicep, a huge gash on my knee that bleed down my leg all night apparently.

And the people checking in day3, day 15, 3 months. GOD I want that. I do. But I can't even get started. Im so stupid for not even trying to quit. But I am here. Tell me what to do from here. I can't decide.

I just need to whine and complain for a while everyone, im sorry. I can't keep these thoughts in my head all day.

Received

Hi NevarCiots. I sure remember feeling like you do. Watching people laughing, hugging, smiling and feeling like I was an absolute nothing, invisible.

I'm glad you found us. Can you tell us more about your general situation? Do you have a plan to stop drinking?

Also, have you tried our chat room. I just looked and saw there were several members there.

I hope you'll stick around.

ETA: I noticed you posted again before I had the chance to send this.

There are many paths to stopping.

Mark75

Because all you do is drink.

Quit drinking.



Your problem, right now is alcohol. Nothing will get better until you quit drinking it. Then you have a chance, the same chance we all have, of being.... So.Damn.Happy...

Simple but not easy.

Call your local AA hotline... see if they know of any meetings where lots of younger adults go... and go!

You don't have to live like this.

Received

Here is a link to some recovery methods:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recovered from drinking by using RR/AVRT technique. You can find out more about that in our secular forum - secular connections:

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Here are two threads I found particularly helpful:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-5-a.html

NevarCiots

Well I am a 28 yr old male, 3 dwis, have been to an er for anxiety withdraws, a psych clinic once because I was so drunk I called my mom for help. Went to a detox clinic once to for the same thing.

I drink every night in my apartment after work just isolating, drinking and playing games on my phone. And...that is it. No getting together with friends. Only call my mom when drunk and crying and slobbering over some loneliness nonsense.

I have become a VERY "closed in tight" individual and that was never me in high school. Absurd levels of beer drinking has wired me into a disgusting, drunken hermit.

My want to seek out schooling, or chasing hobbies has vanished.

THis is me so far in a nutshell.

kadidee

NevarCiots. You are not a child, but I understand what you mean. Sometimes I feel like a 14-year old in a 40-year old body.

I never even considered giving up drinking, even though I knew I had a problem, until recently. I couldn't imagine life without drinking every night. But I got so tired of feeling so bad, and so I kind of looked at it as an experiment. I asked myself what might be different if I stopped drinking. Anyway, I'm still experimenting with that just over a week later, and it feels good.

Honestly, life has been less boring, stressful, and lonely, and I catch myself during the day thinking positive thoughts about the future.

ISPYSOBRIETY

What I did was allowed myself to feel ashamed and guilty. I had been out of control for too long. The women, driving while buzzed, blackouts, bruises (can relate), arguments, drama, abusive and all around ********. Yes, I sat back and remembered some very embarrassing moments, all if which were avoidable. It took rolling my car and a DUI to push my shame to the point where I was totally PISSED off at my actions and I although it would be a change, I had to do this.

Facing the DUI, I got to my knees, felt the humility I should have a long time ago. I gave alcohol up to my God, and decided I was looking at this as a "CLEANSING" period in my life. WATER became my best friend. A 3.99 24 pack lines the top shelf of my fridge even today (just got another) and the 14th of this month is 3 years. I would be in awe, but instead, I'm in Oh, as I just don't know where the time has gone.

Cold bottled water will satisfy the manual feeling you are used to, of having a cold one in your hand. It will satisfy the liquid you chug or sip on. When you taste it, you're going to get a shot of "wow, this isn't beer" but that is good because what you should do next is rationalize that you are now cleansing. Don't think long term, just accept that you are now all about food and from now on, water. Get soda too and switch the water out with a can every now and then and keep moving forward.

If you do this each day, days turn into weeks, months and then years and all you had to do was not drink ONE CERTAIN type of beverage.

NevarCiots

*sigh* I know, I know. But dammit I need to read stuff like this. I need reminders constantly. Have I become so wet brained AT the early age of 28 that I can't just follow simple instructions for my well being?

Received

Well, honestly you sound like me when I joined here back in the beginning of January except I'm nearly 30 years older than you. I stopped drinking for good that night.

Done.

NevarCiots

I like this. I have been drinking water all day since getting to work. It's good stuff. I should do more of it than booze each evening. Ice cold water!

Petecrab

Nevar, how far have you got into quitting? Have you tried? I am a similar age and have felt similar to yourself, however I now feel the complete opposite thanks to quitting.

You have to give yourself a chance to feel happy. As it stands everyday you are making yourself feel worse.

NevarCiots

An experiment? Some research into NOT DRINKING all night should be interesting. I may learn a lot. Thank you.

Hevyn

Hi Nevar. You are definitely cared about here. It makes me very sad to read how miserable your life is. I'm hoping so much that things can change for you.

I agree that giving yourself a chance at sobriety could make all the difference. I know that might not be the whole problem - you could suffer from Depression as well. At least give yourself a shot at being clear headed to see how it goes. Drinking caused me to isolate, too - I didn't want to be bothered with anyone or anything. You're so young - you can turn this whole thing around. Please don't give up on yourself - we won't give up on you that's for sure.

ISPYSOBRIETY

Yeah buddy you are already doing it!!! Realize this. Right now, you are cleansing your bloodstream and organs of that sickly sweet stuff that causes you to feel out of control. On the way home, pick up a case of it and a 12 pack of sprite or something. EAT EARLY, put on DVD's, lay on the couch and let your mind get away from what you did. Just reinforce to yourself "I could drink, but I choose not to. Tonight I'm cleansing my system. If you can control YOU for all day at work, and you can control YOU at home, by drinking water or soda... you are taking the power back, reclaiming it for yourself.

NevarCiots

Well in January I spent 3 days in a detox clinic, got out , and did 22 days clean. And it was great!

And that February I don't remember what day I picked up again or how it lead back to that. I simply don't remember.

NevarCiots

Hmmm that and 7up sure sounds good. A change. And don't worry about what happened last night right?