Notices

Total misery

Old 08-11-2013, 11:23 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Cambridge, UK
Posts: 76
Total misery

Yesterday, my AV took me down that long, dark road again and I couldn't beat it, I tried so hard but I couldn't. It was pushing and pushing and I just couldn't fight it, I felt beat. I feel beat.

Why, can't I overcome this ****ing thing?

I actually feel like topping myself today.
DS777 is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 11:25 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
Awww, so sorry DS! Don't beat yourself up. You are only human! Just climb back on that horse and ride down the path toward sobriety!

Remember, if you have one foot in yesterday and the other foot in tomorrow, you p*ss all over today!
Eleni58 is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 11:27 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Eleni58 View Post

Just climb back on that horse and ride down the path toward sobriety!
I had to do that a bunch of times
got back on the sober horse
only when
we get sick and tired of ourselves and our actions
do we become willing

going back out can be part of the long process

MB
Mountainmanbob is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 11:35 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
DS..I'm guessing your recent relapse played into the mix here. I know you were bummed about the loss of your "pink cloud sobriety" after 35 days. Alcohol is a poisonous, gutting SOB. I know you are in the dark..but you are also suffering alcohol's depressant affects after drinking..not to mention whatever you are doing to yourself for losing another battle. STOP IT. We cannot underestimate the power of its evil clutches once we give it some oxygen in relapse.

You are among friends here...friends fighting the same war. Alcohol is an enemy. You need to recharge, regroup and perhaps arm yourself with some bigger artillery. Don't let it win.
Nuudawn is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 11:38 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,331
Do you have a plan, a specific plan for when it happens again - because it will?

Make a plan, keep it in your head and be ready for it.

I'm glad you're back and working on your sobriety.
Anna is online now  
Old 08-11-2013, 11:40 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
amandaw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Central California
Posts: 322
DS - i don't know what "topping" yourself means, but it sounds bad. Please don't. Please, please don't. go into chat or something, call a hotline. Know that you're worth sobriety.
amandaw is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 11:46 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Cambridge, UK
Posts: 76
where is the chat room, I'm feeling pretty desperate right now
DS777 is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 11:48 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
At the top of the SR page..hit the "chat" icon
Nuudawn is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 12:00 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Originally Posted by DS777 View Post
Yesterday, my AV took me down that long, dark road again and I couldn't beat it, I tried so hard but I couldn't. It was pushing and pushing and I just couldn't fight it, I felt beat. I feel beat.

Why, can't I overcome this ****ing thing?

I actually feel like topping myself today.
Don't feel down DS. You can overcome this thing you just need to make some adjustments. Please don't do anything rash. We're all fighting on your side here

First of, don't fight! Identify your AV and whatever you do, don't engage. Dismiss it as your annoying AV trying to get it's own way again. I don't know the reasons why but whenever any of us engage with our AV and try to have a rational conversation with it or a reasonable debate, it always wins. The key here is acceptance, not winning. Accept that your AV will try to trick you and do your best to ignore it. Distraction is a totally valid tool. Go to an alcohol free place like the cinema or a walk in the park and just don't engage with that voice.

If you haven't already I would advise getting some face to face support too. You don't have to do this alone x
hypochondriac is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 12:00 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
ippochick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 559
Originally Posted by DS777 View Post
where is the chat room, I'm feeling pretty desperate right now
go to A&E. go now. don't spend any more time thinking about lapsing, relapsing, whatever the hell else. it's not important right now.

get some help. present yourself and ask for the Crisis Team or the duty Psychiatrist. they WILL help you.

go now.
ippochick is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 12:00 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Cambridge, UK
Posts: 76
I can't get in, I need to download something and I can't seem to do it!!!!
DS777 is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 12:03 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Did you say yes to allowing the download on your computer?
Failing that...do what Ippo says....stat. Do something...keep doing something.
Nuudawn is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 12:04 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Cambridge, UK
Posts: 76
I think I can get in now, thank God!!!
DS777 is offline  
Old 08-11-2013, 03:28 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
amandaw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Central California
Posts: 322
Thinking about you DS! I hope you've gotten some help
amandaw is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:31 AM.