Total misery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Cambridge, UK
Posts: 76
Total misery
Yesterday, my AV took me down that long, dark road again and I couldn't beat it, I tried so hard but I couldn't. It was pushing and pushing and I just couldn't fight it, I felt beat. I feel beat.
Why, can't I overcome this ****ing thing?
I actually feel like topping myself today.
Why, can't I overcome this ****ing thing?
I actually feel like topping myself today.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Somewhere in Wisconsin
Posts: 661
Awww, so sorry DS! Don't beat yourself up. You are only human! Just climb back on that horse and ride down the path toward sobriety!
Remember, if you have one foot in yesterday and the other foot in tomorrow, you p*ss all over today!
Remember, if you have one foot in yesterday and the other foot in tomorrow, you p*ss all over today!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
DS..I'm guessing your recent relapse played into the mix here. I know you were bummed about the loss of your "pink cloud sobriety" after 35 days. Alcohol is a poisonous, gutting SOB. I know you are in the dark..but you are also suffering alcohol's depressant affects after drinking..not to mention whatever you are doing to yourself for losing another battle. STOP IT. We cannot underestimate the power of its evil clutches once we give it some oxygen in relapse.
You are among friends here...friends fighting the same war. Alcohol is an enemy. You need to recharge, regroup and perhaps arm yourself with some bigger artillery. Don't let it win.
You are among friends here...friends fighting the same war. Alcohol is an enemy. You need to recharge, regroup and perhaps arm yourself with some bigger artillery. Don't let it win.
Do you have a plan, a specific plan for when it happens again - because it will?
Make a plan, keep it in your head and be ready for it.
I'm glad you're back and working on your sobriety.
Make a plan, keep it in your head and be ready for it.
I'm glad you're back and working on your sobriety.
Yesterday, my AV took me down that long, dark road again and I couldn't beat it, I tried so hard but I couldn't. It was pushing and pushing and I just couldn't fight it, I felt beat. I feel beat.
Why, can't I overcome this ****ing thing?
I actually feel like topping myself today.
Why, can't I overcome this ****ing thing?
I actually feel like topping myself today.
First of, don't fight! Identify your AV and whatever you do, don't engage. Dismiss it as your annoying AV trying to get it's own way again. I don't know the reasons why but whenever any of us engage with our AV and try to have a rational conversation with it or a reasonable debate, it always wins. The key here is acceptance, not winning. Accept that your AV will try to trick you and do your best to ignore it. Distraction is a totally valid tool. Go to an alcohol free place like the cinema or a walk in the park and just don't engage with that voice.
If you haven't already I would advise getting some face to face support too. You don't have to do this alone x
go to A&E. go now. don't spend any more time thinking about lapsing, relapsing, whatever the hell else. it's not important right now.
get some help. present yourself and ask for the Crisis Team or the duty Psychiatrist. they WILL help you.
go now.
get some help. present yourself and ask for the Crisis Team or the duty Psychiatrist. they WILL help you.
go now.
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